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The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 15/10/2014 18:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
mountaingirl01 · 25/10/2014 10:03

Hugs to you dulcet I'm having a duvet morning with tea toast newspapers and cat it is sort of helping.

la I've been having bad abdo pain too- was hopeful it was ice pain?

Beautiful line bother!!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 10:15

Dulcet that's v early to have any symptoms at all, gx it's your bfp month x

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 10:18

It was excruciating! Had heartburn after dinner and tonnes of pain in stomach/uterus. Had to get taxi home to lie down. Still bit twangy today.

Lots of stabby boob and stabby fanjo. I'm on cd29 today, god if I'm oh just icing I've got another 10 days of this stupid wtf cycle!

Was chatting to an upduffed colleague last night. She had mc before this one and was lovely, said all the right things. Felt much more positive for speaking to her Smile

I am sad though as I really don't think I'll be bfp this month and just want a fucking baby :(

mountaingirl01 · 25/10/2014 10:24

Oh la I think we're all feeling it today. Sure you haven't iced already? I started getting bad ice pains ever since my mc, wasn't sure if the 2 are linked. I even wasted a free this morning because I couldn't believe how much pain I've been in the last few days.
Going out with sis and bil tonight to celebrate her upduffedness, not sure how I can pretend to be happy right now

jellypi3 · 25/10/2014 10:25

Wow bother congrats. That's a fab BFP

mountaingirl01 · 25/10/2014 10:27

This baby is helping

The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!
Leela5 · 25/10/2014 10:30

God knows! Have had 2 separate lots of ewcm, 3 temp peaks and now cbfm says peak yesterday and today. It really is the wtf cycle!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 10:32

Awwww!

Here's mine...

The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!
BothersomeB · 25/10/2014 10:38

Stats:
age 40
Ttc since june 2013
mc oct 2013
Dtd 7, 10, 13, 15
Iced 14 (ewcm and positive opk 13)
Currently in shock!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 11:03

Yay bother yay!

KatoPotato · 25/10/2014 11:16

Wow bother! That line is a PEACH! Fingers crossed for a happy and healthy 12 months! Wink

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 11:40

Not 13 months? I thought it was 13

KatoPotato · 25/10/2014 11:44

Gah! Yes! I need to speak to HR on Monday!

RPopz · 25/10/2014 12:52

Heartburn, stabby boob and cramps La ??? Don't want to fuel the crazy but when is it poas time?? Sorry you're feeling crappy, glad you found someone understanding to chat to though!

Congratulations Bother Smile

gaggiagirl · 25/10/2014 13:00

bother huuuuuuuuge congrats!

I HAVE JUST HAD SEX!!!! Go me!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 13:51

I hadn't thought about doing that popz. I did an ic on wed just to check it was negative (coz of mc) and it was bfn.

I do have stabby boob ache today but thought it was icing.

Hooray gaggia!!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 14:23

POAS - bfn. Definitely icing rather than upduffedness Smile

Asked Mr La if he wanted to impregnate me and he said no, he's gone to work now. Will get cape on tomorrow instead. To be fair to him I really could not be arsed today!

DulcetMoans · 25/10/2014 14:40

Sorry la. Chin-up and cape in though, work to do!

Off to a 1st birthday party. Wish me luck!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 14:50

Oh honestly dulcet I'm fine drinking coffee reading Bridget jones.

Hope party is ok, vent on here later if not. eat lots of cake xx

TinkerBlue · 25/10/2014 15:10

Yay for shagging gaggia another one back in the game!! Grin
My tablet just auto suggested the word ponies after the word shagging, wtf Confused

So, after a good stare at ovia I have now decided I'm actually only 12dpo and obvs faar to early to test!! and to celebrate I'm going to cook Mr.tink tarragon and sherry chicken and chocolate and pear cake! Poor man has decided to crawl under the bathroom floor and bash about with a hammer! Hmm he's not good with me when I'm disappointed.

bother how's Mr.b with your news??

Good luck dulcet if you steal one can you steal me one too please? I'll pm you my address, it'll be fine in the post Wink

TinkerBlue · 25/10/2014 15:12

Oh and la after your lunchtime efforts I think you have earned a day off if you can't be arsed!

Leela5 · 25/10/2014 15:28

Can someone post me chocolate?

Purplecircle · 25/10/2014 16:50

I could post it but you won't get it til Tuesday La

Purplecircle · 25/10/2014 16:50

Oooh congratulations bother. Fx for a sticky bean

Purplecircle · 25/10/2014 16:51

Congrats Gaggia for getting back in the game

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