Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Actual Lolz

I drowned my sorrows in a bottle of red last night.
If by some miracle I get a bfp then it will be a pickle one
Does anyone moderate their drinking when ttc?
I did drink around icing time and had vowed to remain teetotal til AF but then I had a really bad day yesterday
Still at least I didn't buy fags! Now done 2 years smoke-free

Yay! Well done, Purple! Smoking is evil. Never go back!

Yes, nessa- I'm living vicariously these days. Come on everyone, Poas just for my entertainment please!

bear if I poas it will be bfn....cd16 and not close to icing here yet!

wil please still be here when the baby brain does kick in!

@ Wil!!
Neighbour has been dropped off and seems ok! That's some good neighbour karma stored up

I'm confused my neighbours are fine (I think).

I'm hiding in a chair in a bar. I don't think this is the 'done thing' on a Friday night, but I am done and want to go home. Everyone else wants to stay

Ugh. Hate that. Get a taxi home and have some you time!

Home now. Via the chippy or the donner van!

Don't worry Lala, I was just trying to be funny as I keep mixing names up. I was talking to Nessa really. Hope you managed to sneak off home with some deliciously unhealthy takeaway option.

Up early Wil!

Morning all! I am feeling very chipper today! Am annoying my sleepy DH by buzzing round packing for holiday whilst he tries to snooze

Id love a cannel boat holiday ness. We talked about it for probably 3-4 yrs now but not done it. Where are you picking it up from? No worries if that's TMI!

(First attempt at the said 'if love a camel')

Think DH is feeling sexy - oh no! I know a good JSer would just get on with it but I'm enjoying the break!!

Eh no Dulcet, the shagging has paid off so no need for any more . I have imposed a ban until I make it to 7 weeks. Haven't told DP yet...

Another holiday?! Sigh I have to wait almost 2 months until mine. When are you going Nessa?

Yes Rpopz. 5.45am this morning my body decided to wake up at. Was attempting to go back to sleep but then the toddler got up so no chance.

Today! Picking up narrow boat in Cheshire And the weather looks glorious! We're bound to get rained on at some point mind you
They're great fun Dulcet, this will be my 6th I think, all in the UK. You see so much of the countryside! I'm a bit sad that I won't be boozing it up this time though
My DH has been shag deprived since 15th Feb Poor thing! I sooo can't be arsed!

Morning! I hide the frolic in teacups when we have guests. Lala did you get home and enjoy a delicious donner/chippy? I pigged out with lasagne and a fabulous red, celebrating the departure of the red witch. I moderate wine a little when ttc but not obsessively. DD was probably just implanting around the time of our work annual dinner, I know I drank too much that night...

Nessa I hope you have an excellent holiday! I'm off to kettlercise this morning and really really can't face it, but it's a chippy for tea so needs must!

In which case it's BBQ later and a jug of pimms :-)
That's cheered me up.
It's low alcohol really....just wine diluted with lemonade :-)

nessa have amazing hols!

Ah wil I missed last line of post - doh! My fault.

2 days late, 13 dpo, achy boobs, bfn. I hate my body right now!

Got dragged to a club last night, but didn't stay long. No filthy onion ring supper (oh how I miss those living down south!) but dh made me a quesadilla.

Off to London today to see my friends new baby

No hols for us this year- too skint

well I am giving back my friends daughter today, she's 18 months old and the cutest, however very messy, I gave her a packet of crisps earlier (the actual packet) not thinking that she would be unable to eat them like a five year old would, cue decorated arm chair and rug and 10 mins of hoovering, she played 250 card pick up with my business cards, and has pulled every toy out in the living room, every shoe off the shoe rack and almost got into the knife drawer 6 times, she also blessed me with an exploded nappy this morning and it wasn't the wet sort either. I'm not sure I want another baby now

she did try and sneak in the living room with a bowl of cut up apple when I asked her what she was doing, she looked like she was doing the frogmarch with added stomp as she lost balance with every step

and I can put her hair in pigtails !!!! something a mother of 3 boys cherishes

2 days late Lala!!!? What is going on with you all???? I think that red convertible must be having its MOT or something!

Hahaha Babble that pretty much sounds like my life at the moment. Good practice in case you have a girl next time.

How crap Lala . I hope you just ov'd late and there is still time for a BFP.

mmm pimms.

sat in the sun watching dh gardening. bliss!

babble that sounds similar to my Wednesdays when I look after dn!

Am I hearing the twinkle twinkle of impending bfps?
I hope so.
Urghhh, the football is soon on, I've nothing to take my attention away from it as we've packed all the books.
So excited, we get the keys on Monday, so this weekend will drag I assume.
We too are bbqing it up this evening!

We loves a bbq!

Hope everyones sunny weekend is awesome!

Typically we have had rain all day. Send us a sausage.