Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

No idea when I OV (good Jser eh?) but we did dtd mid month so may be about 5dpo, AF due 25th May... my boobs are sore at the sides, like down my rib cage?

Hooya please?

Mm that's about the only symptom I have Kato so... Although maybe a mini hooya as it's quite early.

Lil I think it's more stupidity than pregnancy. I even noticed Lala had done it before I started writing and then did the same thing.

Shit I've just eaten goats cheese without thinking. I am crap.

Marking my place, any bfps since last week?, my car broke this week so night out wont happen now, shagging has gone out of the window due to dp working unsociable hours (how bloody dare he) so baby making is still on a back burner and with the lack of humping very unlikely too, sigh.

Hope this Fred is as lucky as the last for all of you. Might read it now

Marking my place, any bfps since last week?, my car broke this week so night out wont happen now, shagging has gone out of the window due to dp working unsociable hours (how bloody dare he) so baby making is still on a back burner and with the lack of humping very unlikely too, sigh.

Hope this Fred is as lucky as the last for all of you. Might read it now

babble you really wanted to mark your place!

wil step away from the goats cheese, because its disgusting, not because you are pg!

can we keep the bits talk going, I havent taken mine for about 2months.. need kicking back into the habit! mine were also on top of tea caddy , but when ppl come over they go in draw... and that is where they have stayed. oops

bits talk? lil I'd certainly hope you'd tuck them away before guests arrive!

lmao vits stupid autocorrect! grrr

Hahahaha I was confused for a second wondering where you hadn't taken your bits. Thought we were back on Smear tests again.

Ah good old taking of bits!
I'm in.
I'm in the pub, it's lovely and warm so natch want to sit outside...
As do the whole population of my towns smokers.
It really boils my piss that I have to endure smoke cause people can't be bothered to walk a few feet to get their hit.
Though I am smell sensitive, that may be clouding my opinion.

Oh Lil that's so sweet of you. Thanks for stalking me! I just ran out of time really to post on a day to day basis for a while and then never got back into it as IVF was round the corner and I've spent the last month injecting, so I had no time. Plus the injections made me ultra knackered and most nights I was in bed by 10pm. It's nice to know you guys were thinking of me though.

I'm driving DH mad at the mo as I'm applying for new jobs (yes, again) and no one's getting back to me. I keep saying 'but I'm good, so why don't they want me?' Might start to drive myself crackers soon.

Plus, I got a card yesterday from friends who got married in Dec and baby due in Nov. Yeah, like that was what I needed yesterday in the depths of my despair at my failed IVF. Thanks, Karma and Royal Mail.

I also had yet another of those 'and my friend stopped trying and gave up and she got pregnant with twins' stories. So glad it's the weekend so I can hide!

Might even go to the pub tomorrow for my first glass of wine in about six weeks. Gagging!

Kato I get that kind of boob pain every month.... but I also have it now I'm pg sooooo.... (not fuelling the crazy at all there)

Before that is just insane! WTAF is AF playing at. I take it you've already bankrupt yourself in pissy sticks?

Eurgh Wil goats cheese... why!?

Pee pee pee! Before! You must be upduffed? Surely!

kato just laughed loudly on bus at bits talk - yes one would hope they were stored discreetly for guests

wil I'm echoing lil here goats cheese mings. To make giving it up for pg easier just imagine it as something gross like smegma. Ta daaa! Now you don't want to eat it

I'm off to town on bus. Taking advantage of being bfn so far to have a glass of wine. I have hay all over my top tho not sure why

What's with all the goat's cheese hatred? Can't believe I forgot I was pg already, it's only been like 2 days. Lala that is RANK but it's pretty hard to put me off my food. It's half 6 and I haven't made MiniWil's dinner yet, I am an awful parent. I'm just so tired!

Mmmm wine .

I also suspect you're upduffed Before. Who needs symptoms? They're so last season.

YY to the smoking issue Lil. Someone told me the other day they didn't believe in passive smoking .

Wine. I MISS WINE.

wil you mean min again!!

Hahaha she's lost the plot already

Hahaha there's no hope for her!

Baby brain sure has hit you fast wil!
Totally agree Wil, there was a thing on the news yesterday about them bringing in a total ban in public outdoor spaces by the end of next year, and I cheered out loud! Why should the nice beer gardeny goodness be ruined for all the non-smokers?!
Lol @ bear, didn't take you long to get back into the JSer spirit: POAS POAS!! I totally agree though Before, surely you're a medical marvel if you're not upduffed!! Time for a GP visit? Pee sticks don't work on everyone, the docs can take a blood test instead I think.

Oh good grief. My DH has just come in an said he's taking my next door neighbour to A&E!! She's badly burnt her finger, they don't have a car, and can't get a taxi

Eeek A&E on a Friday night won't be fun. That's very kind of him, hope she's ok.

Erving viroids

Fessed up to my mum that we are ttc and she's made me promise to go to GP if witch arrives next week.
Now I just need DH to register with quacks and come with me
....what is it with men and doctors?

Oh ffs I missed a page and auto correct changed evening into Erving

OMG what is wrong with me?! In my head I know who I'm talking to but can't seem to write the right name. I'm just going to put random comments from now on and you can all guess who they're for - that'll probably make more sense. I have had the busiest day and I'm in such a weird mood. Can you imagine when baby brain does kick in, I won't even know my own name!

Hope your neighbour is ok Lala.

[Grin] just joking Ness.

I can't even do a fucking smiley.