Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Ha did you seriously not know that? I thought you were joking

wil I'm definitely rivalling you for random chat today.

If we meet on the outside I'll reveal neighbour story. Really hope he didn't see that hpt :(

Nope- it was really bugging me!!!

Hehe I also thought you were joking. Full moon unicorn is better though. I'm glad you also have random chat, makes me feel less odd that there's two of us!

I was thinking more 'pampered chuff'

I need to know the neighbour story!!

bear its so good to have you back, I've missed you! I even stalked searched you a little while back to see if you had left us or mn!

I'm still barren, awaiting cd1 if AF doesn't show to book my hsg then we will be waiting another 2months to see consultant. so far dh has bad morph and motility but I seem to be ok.

sorry your ivf hasn't gone to plan first time. don't give in though. you should read back a few threads, red was being very Zen. we were all very proud of her. last time she posted she had 3 frembryos I think it was, and was getting ready to do frozen transfer. she hasn't posted since so I'm assuming it wasn't good news. I keep hoping she'll pop back and update us and prove me wrong.

Essie did a disappearing act on us too, I wonder how she's getting on. I hope cervix gate got sorted out!

wil congrats! I'm not sure if ice said this already but another won't hurt!

bored of ttc here. I'm just having hot crazy sex when the mood strikes. and I am totally not expecting a baby from it. much more fun way to pass the time while I wait to book my hsg. I may even decide I don't want a baby. I'm fed up of waiting and I have no patience. I'll just borrow my nephew and niece from time to time.

Thanks Lil, I'm sure you did but I'll take it twice. You have patience in bucketloads and I'm not surprised you're fed up of waiting. You do have time on your side though which is a great thing. Plus hot, crazy sex sounds pretty good .

The Pampered Chuff I love it.

I hate when you wake up early on non-working days, bloody typical. How does everyone remember to take their vitamins? I feel like I need a tattoo on my hand.

wil I've switched to taking mine before bed as I think it was making me very windy! It doesn't seem to have now though, so hopefully it was just that. I put mine out on the side near the tap as I've taken to taking a glass of water to bed with me, so when I fill that, voila, there it is, winking at me.

lil, I've nothing to say except! you are so very strong. You really are. And your niece and nephew and any babies in your future are so lucky to have you. X

Morning. I'm feeling quite negative today. I don't seem to have any symptoms at all now. Think this month is a bust :-(
AF due next Sat then we're going to the docs
It never occurred to me that I wouldn't get preg the first month I tried, just like my sister did :-(
Sorry for moaning, does it get to anyone else?

Morning viroids

min it's understandable you get fed up trying after a while - I think it's totally normal to get frustrated.

purple if you're not due af til next week you're probably too early to test. I find fertility friend app helps me get an idea of dates.

Totally understand frustration. I have so many friends got upduffed 'by accident' don't really get it myself as if you're not using protection how can it be accident?

I've now been dtd up to and including ov date for 4 months and nothing. All signs point to normal cycle, i can tell when I ov blah blah blah. Nothing.

Am so delighted for all the bfps but I wish it was my turn as well so badly!

My frolic is next to bread bin but I keep forgetting to take it coz dh puts kitchen roll in front of it. Can't afford pg vitamins just now.

Have a good day all!!

And pregnacare freaks me out coz it makes your wee yellow!!!

Thanks Lil, I should probably leave the box sitting out, that's a good idea.

Purple, it's probably quite early for symptoms. Some people get very few throughout the whole pg. As we always say, it ain't over until The Witch shows up. But yes, I think everyone gets frustrated during TWOT. Fx for you.

Lala I have not noticed that, must check out my wee. probably because I keep forgetting to take them Do you think you could be stopping DTD too soon? Just, when the others were explaining the SMEP, they said you should continue after ov. Just a thought, I know feck all about these things after my freak out this month about icing.

I think I might feel a little bit sick this morning, whoop whoop.

My SiL just announced she's 6 weeks and that the rhythm method doesn't work. It's like being punched in the face.
They don't know we are trying so not their fault. They have a 1yo and were going for no2 next yr

I've got a dates app called My Days but it's all on averages which doesn't always work however my cycle is regular but I think PCOS is the problem.

Thanks lala, it's hard to stay positive sometimes

Oh I meant thanks min. Doh.

Wil my vits are in the fruit bowl! Must admit I was a bit hit and miss with them before but now I'm pg I make an effort to take them with my brekkie so its part of the routine now.

Purple that is shit Its hard to be happy for others when you want it so badly for yourself. TWOTing is the worst... but its not over for you yet! I felt the same as you - assumed if it didn't happen in the first 3 months that meant it NEVER would. Its hard to believe anything up to 12 months is normal when every month feels like an eternity but hang in there x

Lil just mega hugs for you. Enjoy your hot sex, you deserve it

My frolic sits on top of the box the tea bags are in - can't start the day without a , can't forget the frolic. Have to remember to hide it when the grandparents come round though, can't be dealing with their anticipation as well as my own!

Purple that must feel like a kick in the teeth, I feel for you.

Lala why stop at ov? Eggs stay alive for five days or so, get some more cape action, can't hurt...

Also Lala I am always about "accidents" ....

Yeah I think 'accident' just means they weren't trying. We don't use contraception because the hormones make me crazy and condoms irritate me. Our 'accident' (although I wouldn't describe it like that) was somewhat of a miscommunication, if you like. And then a decision not to take the morning after pill. So a better description is really 'unplanned pregnancy'. Looking back now, I can't believe it happened at all. Luckiest people ever.

Swimmers stay alive for up to 5 days, our sorry little eggs have a lifespan of 12-20 hours.
Just like blokes farts, their swimmers hang around.
Me too, about the accidents... Oh wait, yes I wasn't using any contraceptives and we weren't trying, so yeah, it was a happy accident.
Uh hello, johnnys are free on the nhs, there's no excuse, so yes, you were trying.

lala wil you two appear to have lost it with all the mad chatter and mixing up names...lala maybe its a pg symptom if wil is doing it too!

min thanks for clearing up the egg thing....saves me some typing!

off to do some work today. so inconvenient when the weather is so nice.

honestly, I'm good with just the hot sex right now. I may even ditch the ultimate contraband as cd16 and still low is just so yawn!

ladies, I think I've found my Zen!!!!!!!! now I just wish dh could get Zen with me

Sooooooo....

Nope, nothing to report. I wish I had. Still no AF, now 11 days late. No symptoms. Tum te tum te tum. Will keep popping by to say hello, but can't even get my cape on for conception purposes.

Definitely think stopping too early - if witch shows up in the next week next month will be concerted effort!! :)

before that must be driving you mad! Bloody witch. Fx for u xx

Before I do think AF needs to phone the RAC or just piss off!

I'm feeling very sorry for myself, I'm a poor excuse for a JS'er we've done the deed a grand total of three times this month and I'm on my 2ww with zero hope.

Thanks for the frolic reminder, mine is in my handbag...