Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Glad it all went ok Tabby! Boo to the witch though

Good grief Kato that is a serious contraband infraction!!! for which we will of course forgive you coz it sounds WELL COOL! what is it what is it?!

How rude is your SIL lil When you're doing her such a massive favour not too mention saving her mega bucks Glad you patched it up, but she needs to crawl more I'd say!

A slightly hopeful hooya to you Duck

Just dropping by to say hello.
Bugger about the witch tabby, hope you get your house sorted soon.
Waves to everyone else

We've started on the route to extending our house, we planned it when we bought but realistically it will take ages for plans, building regs and planning permission so we are prob looking at next year.

Keep wondering how all that will fit in with a baby if we manage to get upduffed but can't put life on hold.

I showed some signs of icing this month so been getting my cape on every other day. Hopefully that's enough.
Been awful moody lately, could blame hormones (or I'm just a moody stresshead)
(How the buggering hell do you do the strikethrough thingy)

Two small horizontal dashes either side of the text you want to strike through like this without the spaces between dashes and text at the start and end

Hopefully Sod's law will dictate that a BFP will happen for you when it's least convenient

Hola! lil so Thursday's your HSG? I'll have my fingers crossed for you that it is smooth sailing. I hated mine but really, it was over as quickly as it started.

tabby congratulations on the move. Celebrate with some especially since the bitch witch has arrived.

kato I'm well intrigued by the explosion-free-piss-by-mail program. Do keep us posted!

Hooya, duck. It sounds like you've already talked yourself down anyway with full reasoning for everything. I'll secretly hope your reasons are wrong!

Maybe I need a hooya of a different kind I have literally taken $50+ worth of pregnancy tests. Yesterday I was so strong. I did not take any tests. The urge to test was strong this morning though, so I caved. At this point, it's diminishing returns. The line can't possibly come up faster or darker. I'm just so afraid it's not going to be there one of these mornings.

So yeah, cookie got it right with the explanation about the beta numbers. The home tests just tell you that there is beta hCG in your system. A blood test tells you just how much. Generally if the number is doubling every two days, that's a good sign. Tripling DOES NOT necessary mean twins, though, yikes (not even funny min)!

I feel kind of numb, still. I think going through what we've gone through and waiting as long as we have, I just can't seem to allow myself to be joyful. It's like I'm waiting for something to go wrong. Maybe all women feel this way, but I think our circumstances have made us too aware of everything that CAN go wrong. Infertility has robbed us of that blissfully ignorant early excitement of getting that BFP. I am having a hard time shaking it. Maybe I'll feel better after the ultrasound on Monday.

red I completely get it, I was to scared to be happy after my mmc! The day before my 12 week scan I went into complete panic, was not good!

Infertility must be even worse, a good mantra is to say to yourself, today I am pregnant!

Morning viroids!

Sorry witch got you tabby but glad move went well.

So let me get this straight - kato is sending piss definitely not poo and not explosive through the post to clear blue? Ultimate in contraband!

duck mini hooya for symptom spotting - don't think you're as bad as popz used to be yet says the woman who once imagined carpel tunnel. Hang on in there for bfp Friday!

lil a break from JSIng - hooray! I'd love that - I'm knackered - done it 7 times in past week starting to chafe in uncomfortable places. I don't know how hookers cope they must go through a lot of Vaseline.

What happens with hsg?

I thought my temp rise was due to fever but it looks like I might've iced early last week, which means I'm officially in the twot zone. Going to keep going though just in case gets out the Vaseline, prepares to lie back and think of her country

Hehered, you know what they say about buses... You wait so long for one, that two come at the same time.
I would have loved twins, though can't imagine the way I would have felt if I'd seen 2 of them on the scan the other day, one was emotional enough.
I felt the same all the way up to the scan. There was no absolute joy, it just felt like it was going to be snatched away anytime.
It passes, I promise. And as cookie says! 'today you ARE pregnant'. Repeat repeat repeat.

tabby 40 mins away from each other? Oh what I'd give to be 40 mins away from the husband sometimes, not last night though cause he bought me a much needed and salivated for, curry. Seriously, the best of luck to ya girl! It'll be grand.

kato exploding piss! Fabulous, I'll keep an eye out on the news for you!

lil, good luck with the HSG, hope it doesn't hurt but if it does remember it'll be Sooo worth it in the end xxx

chat any chance it's implant bleed?

purple fx for you! Bring on law of sod!

red I don't think you're mad at all that sounds perfectly natural. Really looking forward to the day you start to show and have that little reminder that you're pg so you don't need tests anymore. It must be hard to believe after all your efforts, big hugs xx

Does anyone else get fiercely pissed off when your other half is too tired/weak to dtd? We managed it last night but at one point he was flagging. I told him in no uncertain terms it's only 2 bloody minutes of his time and perhaps it's time to go to the gym! He's very unhealthy - smokes, drinks a lot.

Another Hooya over here...I forgot to mention the farting seriously!!
I am not a farty person but by god I have let rip these last few days. I woke myself up last night.

secretly quite impressed

I would love twins!

Apart from during labour.

Farting and af go hand in hand in my house sadly, so undignified. Hooya duck!

Lala I've been very narky when he's too tired. I keep telling myself not to put pressure on him. He knows the score, he doesn't need me to sing it to him too.
I think we are into TWOT now, its cd18 and 4dpo (I think). Might get my cape on again tonight if he's not too tired bloody better not be

Red, I think it's perfectly natural and once you see the ultrasound, you might feel more reassured
I think as POAS is the only thing that tells you that you really are preg, in the absence of more evidence, you keep doing it if it helps you.

Lala I once kicked DH out of bed for being "too tired" for JSing at icing time... Seriously he slept in the spare room!! I was livid...

Massive lolz at Duck for waking yourself up with your farts... my dog does that

Red I totally get that. I'm 10ish weeks now and only just at the stage where I'm allowing myself to think its actually sticking around! Only recently stopped obsessive crotchwatching.... And we still haven't really talked about anything baby related as I'm terrified to jinx it before the scan. I think its normal to an extent, especially if baby making didn't come easy! Hugs

I would also love twins but I think the reality of it would not be as cute and fun as the idea of it!!

Also Red - I did 6 tests...

Ooh it worked!
Clairvoyant told me I'd have twins next year

I would be sympathetic if he didn't spend his life saying we should have more sex, only to then have 5 pints on day of icing and say he's too bladdered to do it. Grrr ...

Red I think you've been very restrained. Hopefully the USS will reassure.

Hope you're getting settled tabby boo to the witch

I used to think I'd love twins...then had a high needs singleton! Couldn't have coped with two of them.

What are you doing to your house, purple? Hope the plans can accommodate an inconvenient BFP

I haven't the faintest idea, Lala - I have no idea what she's up to this month. Backache and no pregnancy symptoms (though never had any until over 6/40 with DD). Who knows. I'll wait a week and POAnotherS I guess. This pattern mirrors my MC - no symptoms until a few days before I started bleeding, an implantation bleed that I thought was a lighter AF...trying not to get my hopes up again.

Blood tests came back ok - ultrasound to go. Conversation with receptionist was quite amusing:

Me: I need to make an appointment with dr a week after my ultrasound

R: let's just check - so your ultrasound is 18th?

Me: yes

R: ok then so how about 17th

Me: um...does it not have to be after ultrasound

R: oops yes...how about thurs 19th then?

Me: is it not meant to be a week later?

R: oh. (Sounds exasperated, like this is my fault) the 24th then!

Me: thanks. (Making mental note to change doctors surgery straight afterwards)

Lala perhaps she used to work for Dr Who

I've got my head around the lingo but not so much the numbers... if AF started yesterday (a day early which was nice of her - maybe she knows she won't be welcome again for a while) does that make me CD2?

Yes :-) xx

Ps not suggesting you do any charting but fertility friend app helped me to get head round cycle and what happens when x

Ooh thanks! I'll give it a go. Not that I need another distraction from work..... but it will at least be more subtle than tearing glossy reports into strips in the office so I can start practising my POAS action

Viroids! Hi!

Sorry I've been doing some extended spells in the pool, cervix gate is dragging on which is a pita.

Hi to all the newbies who I haven't met.

My phone broke and lost all my data, I hadn't backed up my cycle data so got to start from scratch, perhaps that's a good thing?! Cycle 20 now though, or perhaps I start again from 1?!

I see there are some BFPs among some of the clan that have been around these parts a while. Can imagine why you are all scared to get excited but have a little congrats squeeze from me.

Love to everyone. Will try and log in more often, but burying my head in the sand is working quite well for me at the moment. xx

Essie I've missed u! so good to hear from you. please come back with a full cervix gate update soon. cycle 20 sucks. have you been referred yet? I have hsg tomorrow then more waiting for drs. cycle 16 here now.

Hey essie! Feel your pain about loss of data - I had that and lost about a year of tracking! I had an angry face! Oh and cycle 20 was the lucky one for me so good luck!

HSG tomorrow is good lil, get things moving a bit!

Cat just stood on my nipple - damn it!

Chat, we're doing a 2 storey extension...bigger kitchen, utility room, study downstairs, en suite bedroom upstairs