Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

hope the move gets better tabby at least it will all be over soon!

Good luck with the move! I've only recently done it myself - bit of a nightmare - but have been away every weekend since so we're still living out of boxes. I have finally unpacked my underwear now though so I don't have to keep rewashing the same pair......

After this weekend away we've decided its time to get started. AF due tomorrow so will have a few days to line my cape with feathers and glittery bits ready for some heavy pouncing. Already worked out DP is working away around icing time but I'm sure the practice will be fun. We don't live together so the logistics of this will be interesting!

loving that you've got the lingo down already pis!! have u got plans to move I together anytime soon? being nosey

Ahhh, sending positive vibes Tabby.

I have the worst nasty little cluster headache today. Guhhh.

Can I admit something that may get me expelled? It invovles contraband...

I've been picking it up while lurking Lil

No we won't be living together properly for a few years yet. I'm sure it isn't quite as complicated as it sounds. DS is settled in school so I won't move and disrupt that however DP has a great place where I'd like to live in a couple of years' time so we'll divide our time between the two houses until DS goes to college.

Get it off your chest Kato grabs pen to pick up contraband tips

Well, I might have got wind that Clear Blue were looking for testers for a new product, and they might have text this morning to say they'll be phoning me in a week or so...

It looks like it involves using a new produst and sending my piss through the post to them...

WTF am I going to tell DH??? He totally thinks we're JSing!

puts pen down again

Interesting! Hope the postal workers heed the 'fragile' sticker on that package....

What if I spark a parcel bomb threat in Glasgow?

Do you have explosive piss?

Pwahh haha! No, but don't liquids in the post cause problems?

Thanks viroids! The move went better than anticipated although waste of space builders still not finished so can't unpack much and no point cleaning anything yet.

In bad news, the witch got me right where it hurts. 18dpo... Gutted.

Kato good luck with your experiments in pee! I seem to think my friend who worked in a lab used to get pee and stool samples through the post so hopefully you won't get a visit from the boys in blue!

Lol explosive pee! Nothing to report here, going to get cape on every other day soon, pre icing, tho won't ice for a couple of weeks.

Hope everyone's well!

Sorry about the witch tabby

Sorry Tabby, that sucks.

I'm so going to be watching STV news Kato to look for any items about piss explosions at the sorting office. What is the product?

So will you be alone quite a bit with as yet unconceived baby Pisghetti? but who will you take your hormonal/exhausted rage out on if DP isn't around? Or are the two places fairly close together? God I'm so nosy.

Hope you're better soon Lala. Did you make it into work?

Glad your brother seemed to be on the right page anyway Lil. Maybe SIL was embarrassed and didn't want to bring it up again? You know you have to come up with something really annoying to teach DN now don't you? She won't dare blame you again!

Yo!! I need a hooya...

I am doing my own head in because I am symptom spotting.

I had a really sharp pain in the right hand ovary area on Saturday which made me go "oooh ya bugger"

My cup of tea tasted vile earlier to be fair my friend made it and she is shit at making tea

I've had god awful back ache (lower back) since Friday.

Today I feel a bit achey in the pelvic region (but then I would...AFis due on Friday!)

My trousers nearly won't button up. This could be down to the amount of chocolate and cake I've eaten in the last couple of weeks

I haven't got sore boobs, I don't feel sick so I think I am making things up.

I'll just have another cake

I've said it a million times but I felt exactly like I was on the home run to AF when I got my bfp. And only really started feeling constantly sick and food avoidy at about 6 weeks.... But here's a mini hooya

Sorry about AF Tabby. At least you can indulge in some to forget the stress of the move though

Intrigued by your secret new contraband Kato!! I'm a massive contraband hypocrit so you can tell me

Hope you feel better soon La

I'm not exactly reserved in the use of contraband kato but I draw the line at sending my non explosive piss pot in the post!

AF is about done but there is fa point getting the cape out. its our month off, and I'm not allowed to have sex before the hsg. roll on Thursday!!

Neither of us want to be in a situation where I'm raising the baby by myself

The idea is we'll be here in the week when I need to be near school for DS and we'll be there at other times. There'll probably be a night or so a week when we're in different places but I'm ok with that. It's about a 40 min drive between houses.

Ah that's not too far at all.

Mini hooya Duck but I also love a bit of symptom spotting. Fx it's the real deal. I didn't feel consistently sick until about wk 6 either.

Lil just wait until you turn 50 and have to post off your poo!

Lol wil

Piss in the post...whatever next!

Duck mini-hooya, you're only spotting some symptoms

Whatever has arrived, it isn't AF in her usual guise...no fainting or pain at all. BFN, obviously, nothing is straightforward! Yeah, I am usually a morning gal, early morning too - the rude bitch.