Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Could you get your knockers in a twist Lala?! I know I'd fail spectacularly

Fingers crossed for your numbers today Red

Good luck Tabby

Nothing here yet...

Hahahhaha Lala, them must be some giant knockers. Mr Lala needs to step up.

ooh chat does it normally arrive in the morning?

Hope all ok Red, lots of relaxation for you.

Fx for all twotters.

well well well!!

I am not very often a bitch but I have to say I love karma. About 5 years ago my then dp shat on me fro. a great height and cost me a lot in terms of self esteem, sanity and money.

He met up with an old flame of his and very quickly, married her. He couldn't afford to pay me back a penny but paid for a lavish wedding. All I could do at the time was hide away and try to block it out.

Through the wonders of FB I have discovered that stbxp and his (actually very pleasant) wife have split up. I feel genuinely sorry for her as I know what a shit he is. But as for him....his FB is full of the same crap he spouted when we split up.

Tellingly his mates are telling him that he's a total cock. Frankly, I couldn't agree more. Although I wouldn't be half as polite!!

Oooh I do like a good bit of comeuppance!

I love that his friends are telling him he's a twat. Thank goodness you're rid of him Duck. Sometimes fb has its uses.

Lol duck I know how you feel. My XP was emotionally, physically and financially abusive, when we split up it took me a while to get back to myself, which my friends supported me with and said they were glad I was back! I also spotted him on FB recently, I usually steer clear of it and hadn't bothered to try to look him up, and saw he was down as single on it, (and I suspect back living with his parents) when i knew he was cheating on me in the relationship. I meanwhile, have been very happily married for nearly a year now and am ttc with lovely DH smug face

These things don't normally bother me, but I was a touch smirky about it hehehe

thanks ladies I love that I can come on here, have a little vent and know that amongst us one of us will go "I know how you feel" Who knew that a bunch of strangers could make you feel like you are not alone.

I am feeling wonderfully smug. I have a fabulous house, a good job, my gorgeous mr duck and my friends don't call me a cock. oooh it feels good xxx

You deserve to feel smug! And you deserve all the good things that have made you feel smug!

Ha! Yes I love a bit of karma! Excellent stuff, smug away x

Ah I'd feel massively smug after that!

Hope all had good weather today? We've had great sunshine most of the day and been out with dd and friend all day. Now feeling knackered and a bit bleurgh...so cheering myself up with dirty dancing on c5+1! Saw the musical recently which is fab.

Ha! Sounds like karma has got to him duck - what a twat.
People that don't pay money back make me ragey. It's just disgusting behaviour, especially if they then flaunt it somewhere else! I hope his DW takes him to the cleaners

loving the karma! nothing better than feeling smug over an ex!

red I hope you got in OK today.

had a bit of a falling out with sil on Friday as she posted something on fb that basically accused me and my mum of teaching dn to spit whilst saying it could possibly be her brothers wife who also looks after him once a week. I was livid. in the process I brought up the fact she basically shoves her pg in my face by posting on fb about it every 5mins. (they know our ttc situation). had hoped it would reduce the baby talk when we saw her tonight at my mums but no. oh well.

Number didn't double...it tripled! 101. Very pleased. Had a relaxing day. I did have a baby shower to attend but for once I didn't feel totally hopeless. I could be next! On phone so will check on all your weekend goings on properly when I'm at my laptop.

Tripled!!!
Oh my!
Fantastic news, are you thinking there may be a split egg in there? X

Fantastic red that's amazing!

red don't do that..my heart sank for a second then!!! you must be so relieved after the other day. just keep on taking it easy. so so happy for you!

Hooray Red! Brill news

Hope you're okay Lil - that's very shitty of her. Especially when you're doing her a favour by looking after DN!! I'd like to think the pg rubbing in is unintentional though, people just don't realise what its like do they. Hugs

Thats great Red but please tell me someone, what are these numbers?

Love a bit of Karma duck. Hopefully the same will apply to your SIl lil

Had a lovely weekend, almost forgot about ttc! We've got DS a full size bed now which he looks tiny in!

Actually yes idliketo know that too kato I don't know much about this process at all.

lil they sound a bit ungrateful. Karma is a wonderful thing! I've got various friends who have done things over the years that are not in best of friendship and so far karma hasn't let me down!

Just had my blood tests done at hospital. Got ultrasound booked for next week. Hoping things come back looking like they are normal

kato the numbers are to do with pregnancy hormones, they basically double every two days so you want them to keep going up. People who have issues with hpt's often go to the Dr's to get a blood test confirmation.

Good luck with results Lala.

Are you back speaking Lil? What did she say when you told her she was rubbing it in your face? I really don't get how people can be arsey about those who are looking after their kids for them. I'd love to have someone who was prepared to do that for me.

Great news Red, keep on tripling!

yeah we resolved it the same night wil. she just said it wasn't done with intent to offend me (no duh) but didn't seem to grasp the point that she needs to think before she speaks! my bro phoned my mum the same night. sounds like he agreed sil was in the wrong and was worried that I was upset at least. it wasn't mentioned when we saw them last night. if I'd been in her shoes I'd have dragged me to one side and apologised again and made sure things were OK, but I guess that's just me! but anyhoo, only 2 days until hsg day....then 5-7 weeks for results! I'm hoping that means to discuss results and they will tell me if there's an issue or not there and then!

sorry, very me post, got on my high horse a bit!

fx for blood test lala and good luck for the ultrasound.

Morning viroids! Am feeling bit fragile today - have had the beginnings of flu since Friday - shivering, aching etc. it's completely wrecked my f friend thing coz of course I inputted my temperature and now it reckons I've iced already, which should have been this week. THIS is why temping should be avoided

Was off work yesterday. Debating today - feel sick but might just suck it up and go.

How are you all? tabby and chat any updates? Xx

Hope everyone is well - haven't got time to read properly. No witch here yet but today is moving day and it's a fricking disaster with builders not anywhere near finished so wouldn't be surprised if the stress hormones have kept the convertible away.

Fx for everyone twotting or having tests xx

Good luck moving tabby!!