Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

*do=to!

Happy Birthday Red! Hope you're not going too craxy waiting for the results - at least you've had a sneak peek already!

red, how long do you have to wait?

red happy birthdaaaay! When is blood test?

duck what colour is the dye?

tabby you're absolutely right before and big hug xx

They drew my blood this morning around 7:30. I should hear early this afternoon!

Feeling nauseous but I'm sure it's just nerves and not the little bean just yet....

Getting zero work done. Go me.

It's nearing 11 am here now.

Evening viroids

Red, hope you don't have to wait much longer and fx for the result.

Look on Facebook for Colette Clairvoyant. She does online readings too. I've had one every 2-3 years for the past 15!
She told me all about DH before I met him, and how he'd change my life. I scoffed at the time but she was spot on
If she's right on this then we'll hear the patter of 2 pairs of tiny feet next spring/summer!

Oh and Happy Birthday to you :-)

I got dragged to lunch after I got the call :)

So....nurse sounded happy, confirmed that it's positive (no kidding, I peed on $40 worth of tests!). My beta is a little low, 35, and they like to see 50 -- but she said they are not concerned because I did the blood test a day early. I have to go back Sunday for another round of blood work to make sure the number is doubling.

I'm trying not to worry about it too much. Hang in there, bean! Double, double, double....

Oooh, two pairs purple! Exciting!

Great news Red!

Fantastic red. Fx for a sticky bean

Grats again red, fx for it all to go smoothly. Look at it this way, you've already had the stressy part, the pg and birth are more than due to be easy and lovely!

just keep up the PMA red. I'm sure it will all be great on Sunday. hope you have a nice weekend planned.

Morning viroids! Congrats red how exciting!

Who's due for testing/af/bfp next? I've forgotten.

I'm frustrated - I'm determined not to use contraband this month huge sulk following cbfm disappointment.

Due to ice this week if signs/time of month are correct. We had planned to js every day but dh shifts keep preventing this from happening. I know I shouldn't be so selfish but I just woke up to text saying he couldn't get taxi home (and apparently lost use of legs to walk) so is staying at friends house. He's then working today and Sunday.

I've got blood tests mondY at hospital. What's the point if he's never about at the right time?

Ah man, I missed a BFP and a birthday! Many congrats and smiles for both events red. Awesome news! I'm willing your numbers to double away. More waiting for you though, annoying! Keep the zen, keep the patience!

I've just finished watching all 9 seasons of himym. there is now a himym shaped hole in my life!

Hooray lil now you'll understand my pain!

Good news Red, fx for Sunday.

I need to dye my hair this weekend Duck, I hope it goes more smoothly than yours did!

Oh dear. Estate agents wanted to go round at short notice to take pictures of the flat we're moving out of. Said it wasn't tidy, but ok. When I got in, I realised the balance active was out on the bedside table

let's hope it's not in the pictures it totally will be, it's right next to the bed

fx for sunday, red

oh tabby

Just had to look up what that was oh my!!! Sorry tabby but I had to laugh...

I have to make sure lid is on my goody box when people come round. It's by bed.

oh ffs! I just typed a reply and the bloody thing has disappeared grrrr.

Please tell me what the himymuymy thing is that you are all watching. I feel like I am missing something epic.

wil...don't use the schwartzkopf colour mask one. that's what I got in a mess with!!

mind you my hair is quite long so that doesn't help really.