Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Aww thanks guys!! :)

AF arrived a day early, it could have come Saturday though would have saved me the trouble of POASing and wasting money (that we haven't got atm).

DS1 is still driving me batshit crazy, and ds2 and 3 came home from football telling me that the twins of terror had kicked them both! My poor boys, will be having words with their parents and the football coach next week. (I am also very glad that neither of them hit them back, makes me look like the better parent ).

DP got stroppy with me earlier as well, I'm menstrual so totally won. Only because I had a moan about not warning me that friends may pop in before the school run, so they arrived. The house looked like they should phone the social services on us! cue lots of ohhh I'm working on my essay haven't had chance blah blah blah. They are good friends, they really don't give a flying f**k. But he still dared to strop at me.

Bummer about AF, babble. Good friends never give a flying f**k what the house looks like, but I get totally peeved when people drop by unannounced. It always seems to be right when the cat has left a huge dump in the literbox, the pantry door is wide open and its contents are spilling onto the kitchen floor, etc.

Well done, lil! It is amazing how putting pen to paper helps us take stock in the way we feel about things.

Diet....yeah, that's tough anytime of the month. I had an egg, cheese, yogurt, pineapple, salad, grilled chicken sandwich (threw most of the bread out) and I'm still hungry! I am forcing myself to stay put and not go into the kitchen at work where all the snacks are.

Sorry about AF Babble. I detest when people arrive unannounced. Sends me into a right panic.

Hmm, this is making me wonder if I should start a diary, don't think I'd ever be confident enough to share, but just for me might help my head a bit.... As long as I don't kid myself with things I don't really mean but think I should if that makes any sense... I shall ponder on it and be impressed with you all while I do!!

Open day at clinic on wed!

Sorry about AF babble, come eat choccie with me!

Och babble it's been a shitey cycle for loads of us this time round. We must be due some belting bfps

I'm working on one kato but I'm a bit puzzled by the contraband giving me weird IT style clown faces still. Thankful that OH has a willing body and not taking too much notice of me getting in from work shrieking 'we have to do it nooooooooow!'

What's with this Fred? Sorry babble :( xx

Come on bfps where are you?

babble ERTD was so excited for next months cycle she decided to stop by yours early, so you can get going even faster in June. But yes, sorry she decided to show her face at all.

red. Pink smear? Eeepp so excited. Though not too much (no pressure).... still excited though

lil best time to start a diet! before the witch shows... That way if you can avoid all associated ERTD cravings you know a diet will be piss easy... Smart cookie.

Morning viroids! I think idea of a diary is great. I do mine slightly differently - I don't live anywhere near my best mate so I just write everything in email to her. It's completely therapeutic.

lil fx for no arrival of af

Totally understand the whole untidy house thing! My mil tends to drop in and starts tidying or cleaning. Drives me bloody insane!

tee perhaps your egg is just a bit slow and is taking its time

I'm back in the game! Dtd last night. Right - does anyone else find Ttc makes them a bit dirtier in bed? No? Just me? Oh.

It's like I'm on a mission (sorry if tmi) to make sure they're as vigorously chucked up there as possible, like somehow that makes a difference!

Dh not complaining.

Morning viroids. Babble, bummer about ertd

I have decided to be more zen. I was in floods of tears on Sunday after DH family came over and we had lovely little ones playing in the garden and having fun.
I have to stop the stress in my life. I need to be calmer.
I was in tears yesterday over a bloody meeting that I don't want to go to!
Enough with the drama and hysterics already!
Time to practice just going with the flow!

Have a good day y'all

Morning viroids. Babble, bummer about ertd

I have decided to be more zen. I was in floods of tears on Sunday after DH family came over and we had lovely little ones playing in the garden and having fun.
I have to stop the stress in my life. I need to be calmer.
I was in tears yesterday over a bloody meeting that I don't want to go to!
Enough with the drama and hysterics already!
Time to practice just going with the flow!

Have a good day y'all

Are you doing acrobatics with your legs too lala? I didn't realise I could have been a contortionist in another life :-/

Slow lazy egg... That sounds about right!

It feels like it today! Definitely!

purple sorry you feel crappy. I understand xx. Had friend announce pg yesterday who has always said she doesn't want kids. It's an accident. Bloody frustrating xx

Haha Lala I found the total opposite tbh - ttc made me into a crazed fertilisation machine. I just wanted to get it over and done with asap!! Shagging was much better in the twot cos noone cared haha!

Sorry about AF Babble

Sorry you're still feeling crappy Purple - Chin up, cape on

Lala yes! Am suddenly all over it after having frankly developed into a bit of a pillow princess over the last few years (we've been together more than a decade, the ripping each others' clothes off days are a while back).

well it's cd25 here so why not indulge in some light symptom spotting, says my brain. Boob size normal (were huge last month), and weirdly emotional - started welling up on Saturday because You Make Loving Fun was playing in a shop and I imagined it as our first dance at our wedding you can't take me anywhere and cried on sunday because an old song from the first world war was on the radio and I thought about how sad and frightening it must have been waiting for the war to end and all the men to come home.

Oh just read that back. My eyes started welling up in the shop, not my boobs. Just in case that was confusing, like.

zyla This is my diary, you guys get the lot (I'm afraid)
kato It really has been a shitty cycle, so I am only guessing that next month's fred is going to be full of bfps!!
min I like that theory

So I have finished my essay. Very little stress, nice and easy flowing, I have 2 days left to hand it in and I'm going to revise it in the morning, get second opinions, e.t.c. e.t.c. then revise it again the day after next and send it in. I liked this one, can you tell !!!

I think I'm sending of some weird pheremoney (sp) things, dp has been unusually horny. Not that I'm complaining, well actually I am.. its rather messy (sorry if its tmi) oh well out come the dark bed sheets!!!!

tabby bless you, I was emotional on Saturday, esp after the pg test. however if its any consolation, I remember when I got pg with ds1 and it was before I found out, I was crying uncontrollably down the pay phone outside our flat, to my xhusband because the house phone wouldn't work properly. Its probably not any consolation .

babble I like the idea of lots of bfps next month! Shall we sign up for those now? Memememememe :)

Actually it'd probably be Sod's law as we're going for a look around a clinic tomorrow, so I'm bound to get upduffed next cycle right?

You totally are Zyla, make sure to make an appointment just to cement the law of Sod.

Sorry for all the emotional wrecks out there, hope you feel better soon.

I'm with RPopz I'm afraid Lala, definitely just became more of a chore when ttc. Feel a little bit sorry for Mr Wil at the moment but feel far too barf-like to be engaging in any of that nonsense.

Hello can I join you all? Have been lurking for a couple of weeks
Just started TTC #2, come off pill, have no idea of cycle length, ovulation etc and def won't be partaking in contraband! Trying to go with the flow...slight obsession with lurking on mumsnet though..

Join the club could welcome!

And I lurked for ages before joined and am now also obsessed with mn :) will happily sit reading giggly bits to DH from classics etc

Hi could!!! Welcome to the hornybin (like loony bin but with more capes)

Hi all! I'm enjoying going with the flow - no contraband, no charting. No idea when icing.

tabby I did laugh when I read your post at first - sounded like boobs were emotional!

Law of sod - bring it!!! Next thread has to be lucky, this one not so much. Determined!

What's everyone up to? Me and Mr La are watching Seven. Love that movie