Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

RED! Great to see you, just had a lil' browse through your blog, it sounds like you're taking it all in your stride Sending out some positively pineappley implantation vibes to you!!
Rational Ness says: "wait for the blood test, wouldn't you rather you get one big accurate (hopefully positive!) answer than lots of uncertainty?" JSer Ness says: "OMG! How soon can you POAS! Super drug are doing half price FRERs!!"
Pick whichever speaks to you

Sending a wave and a hello out into the void to Essie - Red & Bear have checked in, hope you're ok too!

Glad to hear you're still channelling that Zen Lil We soooo wanna get you over onto that grads thread!! Lol, I've been TTC too long, my phone just autocorrected 'over' to OVed

Zyla! Smear test! We've had three in a row with BFPs following a smear - it could be you next!

Unicorn pokes to everyone else! FX for all you Twotters!!

Tabby that made me laugh loads!! Bless you.

What exactly was he "inserting"!? sorry couldn't help myself

ah cookie that's lovely. I'm so happy it all worked out for you.

tabby just lol

purple not in m&s to my knowledge! I think the key to Zen is realising, and more importantly accepting, that you have no control. its easier said than done. and for me the only reason I've managed it is knowing our chances are below average because of dhs sa. I'll be received to get the hsg out the way in the next few weeks so I know exactly where I stand. I'm still having to put a pin in the symptom spotting and the crazy from time to time. for example earlier I was thinking my boobs feel tighter than usual. I gave myself a hooya and reminded myself they get bigger every month and its probably bra related!

red whether you poas or not, make sure we are top of the list after ur dh for telling please

Thanks lil

I defo need to work on that. DH was feeling under pressure last month so I need to not mention it to him, try not to think about it and just get my cape on!

Morning viroids this is ridiculous but I have just burst into tears for a ridiculously stupid reason. Please don't shout at me coz this is daft and stupid contraband related.
We are really struggling financially but I spent the last money I had on credit card on cbfm. It didn't arrive until yesterday when I was working so no time. Just got it out, searched the house for batteries (for £100 surely they could include sodding batteries!?), put batteries in, started it up and went to read instructions, meanwhile the whole time desperate for a wee.

As I read instructions my heart sank - I'm on cd8. You have to start it cd1-cd5 so I've missed the window. I've got to now wait until next cycle

Honestly it's ridiculous but I just feel so desperately sad and deflated. I was so excited thinking it might help. I feel so crap that I've got to wait another month to use it. Fucking Royal Mail.

Sorry for a crap start to day hope rest of you are ok and have better moods.

Oh and now I have to replace all the flicking batteries back in the remote controls and my vibrator

Fricking

red just read some of your blog - amazing! Fx xxx

Sorry for MIA all, been away for a couple of days. No signal in Wales! Just trying to catch up.

red! You sexy thing, so glad you've got some progress and such exciting times. Obviously, ideally you would wait for the blood test but we are JSers and you just bought pregnancy tests so I am still half expecting to log on Weds with a POAS update! Everything crossed for you!

Oh lala, I would be stressed out holding a wee in that long too. Annoying you have to wait but in Sod's law way, this could be the cycle it happens for you - since you ape t the money already. You might never get to use it. Forces you to just keep shagging for a few more weeks.

Sounds like you have the zen sorted lil, hope the weeks pass quickly to your HGC, but obviously we are all used to waiting now but get some fun things planned to pass the time. I demand DP takes you out for dinner this week!

Trying to type with a kitten in my face. She's missed us!

£100? Fuck me they are bastards making so much money out of this situation. That is frustrating Lala, hope you're ok. You have definitely invoked the law of sod anyway. I hope the financial situation improves .

Hope you had a good time in Wales Dulcet.

Oh Lala, I'm so sorry hun. I thought you knew that about it. Chin up lady xx

Oh lala don't stress over it. It is typical, but law of sod luck may mean you can stick it on eBay as 'unused' now when you get upduffed before you can start using it. I got all excited this month starting using it and it didn't even detect me icing, got no peak, but apparently it can take a while to get used to cycles.

Fingers crossed you won't need it!

Oh lala have a glass of wine lovie. How annoying though!
Fwiw I would be stressed too though!

exactly the sane happened to me lala sodding thing didn't turn up on time! fx it really does invoke the law of sod! and if it doesn't when you do start using it you will look back and laugh when you are fed up if poas every morning. I put mine on top of the alarm clock so I remember it when I hit snooze!

red I have just finished reading your blog. you are truly an inspiration to me. I hope I can be as positive as you if when I get to the ivf part of the journey.

AF is a bitchy witch!

Sigh

Oh well, I need to get my day 21 bloods, which will be day 28 done this cycle. And we'll get results of other tests etc.

Also going to an open day at a private place on wed evening, just in case there's nothing officially wrong and the nhs start putting brakes on things. We'll see I guess.

Hope you all had a lovely sunday

sorry zyla

Sorry Zyla . That messes up the smear test theory then.

Has anyone heard from fox?

Ñj

Ah sorry Zyla Is she early as well did you say before? How rude!

Was thinking about Fox and her awesome username the other day!

She's only a day or so early, in a cycle length like mine it happens sometimes.

I'm going to look forward to wed evening and quiz them over success statistics etc!

Ahhh man, sorry zyla and lala, fricking scandalous they can make that sort of money out of playing on our hopes.
The barstewards!
What's everyone been up to this weekend? Has the weather been good for you all.
It's been a belter here today but sadly I was stuck in ikea for the best part. Hp hum.

Evening viroids! Did everyone have nice weekends? I am a tiny bit ashamed to say I used a contraband item to confirm icing suspicion and I turned out right! (Anyone else find those smily faces slightly sinister?!) anyway, I managed to cape every day for the last week, except last night which was my fault for having too much steak and maybe a little bit too much accidental wine. Hoping to just squeeze another cheeky one in tonight:) I told DH that I might stat charging his troops rent, if that whole sperm-live-for-five-days thing is true.

Haha tee, that's a pretty grim thought!

Crappy weather here today (as usual).

Evening viroids! I'm less emotional now :) bad luck I guess. Going to just get cape on every day/two days and rely on law of Sod.

What's the update on all our pg ladies? How many weeks along and how are you feeling? dulcet how was Wales?

£100 is a heck of a lot of money for a pee machine! Honestly! I feel such a fool.

zyla that's shite, I'm sorry. Witch is an evil beeatch.

Ooooh min IKEA!? It's been a while since we had an Ikea story. How was it? Sunday in Ikea...must have been wonderful! You survived at least!

I made mr la accompany me to the stables - he wasn't the happiest. He's quite a dab hand at filling hay nets but otherwise sits and plays on his phone.

tee YES! Smiley faces freak me out, but at least they're easier to read than the shite tesco-own-brand sticks

PS batteries are well and truly back in the vibrator!