Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Dulcet I'm 40 with PCOS
Time isn't on my side which adds to the stress
We haven't used contraception since Aug 13

Hello, I'm new! I stopped my pill in March and finally got a period last week, so we are officially having it off with purpose :)

Welcome Tee Good luck to you!

I'm done with nights and - rejoice - DH is back for the long weekend from Thurs. Cape-donning, praying for icing...

purple, the docs will not ridicule for old and fat, you will not be the worst they have seen.

Lala...wtf is going on?!

RPopz Good luck

Thank you :) I am 31 and we are attempting our first with vigour...

Well they have no reason to turn you away then purple, just hope you get a kind GP. Some responses have been less than supportive. Which is why it helps to go in knowing what you want - 2-5 day bloods, 21 day bloods to start with! My doc made me do some hepatitis and chlamydia tests too.

Welcome tee! Sounds like you are in prime JSing time - cape on!

Thanks girls I appreciate the advice. I'll be going forewarned

Purple I went on my own and left with my blood tests booked and 2pots for dh. I agree you will not get ridiculed but if you know weight is an issue add trying to do something about it to the plan for this next month, then you can feel in control going to the docs saying you've already taken steps to improve it. You'll feel better if you can head off any weight comment with I'm already doing bla bla bla.

Had a lovely weekend but tonight I'm feeling really crap about the ttc stuff. Its just all so bloody unfair. I need cd1 to get here so I can book hsg and feel like I'm doing something about it again!

Thanks Lil
Fx for you too

Morning viroids! Welcome tee!

lil I haven't been trying as long as you but I know what you mean - it's so bloody unfair sometimes. I've just woken up to photos of my friends new baby - gorgeous! But she got married same time as me and ttc same time too.

I'm crossing everything for you this month.

purple I would go to doc to see your options . That way if there's something you could be doing it can start sooner rather than later.

I'm now in definite af and it's a crap one too, ouchy. We are going to go for it this month - no more skiving!

OH MY GOD!!!

For some stooped reason I haven't been able to access MN on my phone since last week and I have been having the worst withdrawal symptoms.

And because we don't have t'internet at home yet I was doubly scuppered.

Anyhoo, hopefully I can get back on thread, got a little bit of catching up to do!

x

Everyone who has seen my scan says girl but I say boy! I also have a theory that DPs family make all boys or all girls!

Most people seem to make all one or the other don't they? I know loads of people with 3 boys or 3 girls!

Duck there is some problem with the android app, I haven't been on it in days! There's a thread somewhere about it - apparently they're trying to fix it.

Hope you're feeling more zen again this morning Lil xx

Hello ladies, welcome tee.

Lala what's going on with you?! Glad the old baggage has stopped messing abaht.

Lil also hope your zen returns soon.

Cd 19 here and think I must be twotting - positive opk was last wk but trying to keep in the shagging game anyway - more fun that way.

DH is a physical wreck which isn't helping - contraband smiley face was last weds and got cape on, then he was out boozing on thurs, too hung over on Fri and smashed his leg up at rugby on sat. Managed it on sunday (very carefully). No sotm here this month :(

Hello ladies, welcome tee.

Lala what's going on with you?! Glad the old baggage has stopped messing abaht.

Lil also hope your zen returns soon.

Cd 19 here and think I must be twotting - positive opk was last wk but trying to keep in the shagging game anyway - more fun that way.

DH is a physical wreck which isn't helping - contraband smiley face was last weds and got cape on, then he was out boozing on thurs, too hung over on Fri and smashed his leg up at rugby on sat. Managed it on sunday (very carefully). No sotm here this month :(

Thank you! I managed to don my cape twice last night :D according to some science I might have made up in my head, I'm in the game for icing this week so planning on wearing him out... don't think he's complaining much mind..

Wet fish slap for Mr Turmoil, tell him to get his game face on Tabby!

If you think it's a boy you're probably right Zenry, I knew what I was having last time. Don't have a clue this time though.

It'll happen Lil and lala, keep the faith (as bon jovi would say ).

Duck that sounds like torture, good to have you back!

Hi Tee.

Wil - indeed, he nearly got a wet fish slap from me on friday when he was too tired!

Hi viroids, in answer to your questions ds had taken someone else's tennis racket and smashed up yet another child's muffin, which as you can imagine went everywhere, the driver told him to clean it up so after much protesting he finally did, placing the crumbs on another child's blazer, who then lifted said blazer scattering crumbs everywhere. Again he protested it wasn't his fault and gave the driver a bit of lip. Of course in his mind, as it wasn't his racket muffin or blazer he was blameless!! I also found out why he was so quiet "reading" in his room, dp hadn't tick the apply box when blocking his phone from the internet, yesterday and today have been utter hell. Ds2 has vacated the premises from 10 in the morning til 6 in the afternoon, just to get some head space. Ds3 has been winding ds1 up and at times been just as bad. Im thinking maybe I should start medicating during the holidays. If not medicating him maybe medicating my self, Valium's OK to take whilst looking after kids right????? [hmmm]

Been sick today, woke up after a little nap with dp, grabbed an hour whilst all was quiet. And made eggs for the kids then proceeded to puke my guts up, guessing I've caught a bug from one of the kids. I can't be upduffed as I haven't really DTD, and it would be way too soon for ms anyway. And I feel like crap, real crap. After ms with ds 1 I felt great. So defo not upduffed I'm afraid.

Haven't started studying either. I really should.

Oh god Babble that sounds tough, hats off to you. Thumbs up for the valium idea! If I was the bus driver I'd be more upset about the waste of a muffin . Hope you feel better soon.

Yes wil, I think I definitely need it! I ache so much right now if it wasnt for dp needing to sleep I would be making my way to bed, oh I hate being ill. I won't post anymore until I'm better though. Have we had any more bfps?

:-( Hope you feel better soon Babble

duck nothing more traumatic than not being able to get onto the Fred! Sometimes at work it won't refresh and I get absolutely fixated that you're all having immense chats about world-changing stuff I need to know. But then I realise that in fact it IS refreshing and you're all just off doing something more important and I'm therefore a sad case...

zen how are you so sure about boy? Is it just a feeling?

tabby you should tell him to man up, or at least threaten him with worse if he doesn't let you jump him ;)

tee WTF twice in one night - careful gal you're in danger of being much more enthusiastic than anyone else on this Fred about shagging! My dh tried the other night and was swiftly informed that I a) didn't feel like it and b) would cut his thing off if it came near me. Oh and before you all tell me off for that, I was PMS after 39 days so absolutely within my rights!

My mum has offered to buy me the ultimate in contraband because it's obvious my cycles are erratic someone's desperate for grandchildren. Should I let her?

babble at first I thought he'd smashed up some kid's head and muffin was code for head. then I realised it was an ACTUAL muffin - what a waste of good food products!

Big for you babble, sounds like you need it. I love Valium.

This fred's not doing well on the BFPs - who's next to test? Where's kato? kato???

Who else is still lurking??? C'mon lurkers show yourselves!

lala I wouldn't bother with the cbfm. I have irratic cycles and just find it a pain in the ass. I can achieve the same science with ic opks and my thermometer. At least I can stay in bed with the thermometer! I'm probably not going to bother with it next cycle. Even though I have 30 sticks!

The Zen has returned. Think I was just super tired last night. Had a really productive day today too so feeling much better!

babble you sound like a saint! I'm not a patient person so I'd struggle so much in your situation. You deserve a lot of credit! and vallium

lil you are truly zen :-)

I really would like a holiday. I wonder if I should start applying to game shows to see if I can win one.

Off to bed, night night gals x

I just Worry that twice in one sitting makes the troops from round one all squirt out the wrong way when we do it the second time......

Bloody physics.