Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Sorry I've not been about apps being a shit head, so I've got the usual cramps a week before AF symptoms, she's on her way which is good to know because at least it means my cycles are pretty regular. I have a week of 3 kids at home, due to the holidays and then 2 weeks of hour long school runs as my darling ds has got himself kicked off the bus again!!!! I've charged him £20 for fuel and given him an internet ban. The next 3 weeks are going to be torture for me!

Oh and lala POAS POAS please!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and lala POAS POAS please!!!!!!!!!!!

lala when did you last poas? How confusing! Hope either a peestick or GP has some answers.

Hello all been a while life has just been so hetic. All is well here and am now 13 weeks tomorrow. Have a private gender scan booked for 16+6 here is baby no.3 any guesses welcome :)

I demand answers on your behalf lala!

I don't seem to be having the same problems with the app as you guys. Are you both on iPhones?

Very good punishments babble, but yeah, you will feel the wrath! Haha.

Going out for a roast today - yum!

popz you're job hunting? Still within science? (Don't answer if you're worried about outing yourself)

babble sorry to hear witch might be on way - hopefully not !

zenry how exciting!!! What are your other 2?

So - I actually don't have any sticks to POAS and actually I'm now terrified! I'd thought spot was af so thought oh well, wrote off this month as weird af due to stress and carried on with my life (ie I drank fri and last night). It was only when I then thought about it last night that I am now panicking.

I just don't see how I could be coz last time we dtd was cd19 and I'm now cd39 and spotting was 19dpo - surely that's way too late for implantation? Plus it was red not brown (sorry if tmi).

I'll have to go buy sticks today. Absolutely bricking it that I might have harmed any potential baby

Well so far ds isn't being too much of a pain, I think he's reading through his extensive collection of books in his room, either that or he's just learnt the joys of being a teenage boy!! (Shudder eeewww). Lala it would be an absolute miracle if I happened to be upduffed, we have only DTD 5 times this month and 2 of those were this weekend. But thanks any way, have you peed on a stick yet? What's going on? I have fingers and toes crossed for you.

Well so far ds isn't being too much of a pain, I think he's reading through his extensive collection of books in his room, either that or he's just learnt the joys of being a teenage boy!! (Shudder eeewww). Lala it would be an absolute miracle if I happened to be upduffed, we have only DTD 5 times this month and 2 of those were this weekend. But thanks any way, have you peed on a stick yet? What's going on? I have fingers and toes crossed for you.

babble what did he get kicked off bus for?

POAS - bfn. Phew!

Lala I often dont ovulate till around day 20 of a 31 day cycle. Your not out until your out! I have 2 DS

Not job hunting Lala just applying for a more senior version of the job I do now. They don't come up often so even though its terrible timing I was advised to apply anyway. So can't be arsed though and the advert closes tomorrow....

Hello all, just checking in after my holidays! Back to work Tuesday - erk!

Are you still going to the doctor Lala to figure out why ERTD hasn't showed?

Good luck with the promotion RPopz.

Oh Babble that sounds tricky, hope you're surviving ok. What happened on the bus?

Scan looks great Zenry. They say you're more likely to have another boy after 2 boys don't they? But I think your bean may be a girl. Everyone else seems to be having boys atm so has to even out somewhere!

popz good luck! I take it you won't tell them about pg until much later? My work are really good about pg - they even promoted someone when she was on maternity once. Pity they don't match the goodness in pay - 6 weeks full then statutory. Ouch!

Meant to be at BBQ today but weather is stinking. Boooo.

zen it's definitely af but now I'm very confused - last cycle 29 days this one 39. No idea what that means for ov. Just going to get my cape on every 2 days and hedge our bets!

ness did you have a good time? That went quickly !

wil got appointment thurs so will chat through with them. Starting to worry a bit now as cycles are erratic

Is it definitely definitely AF this time?? :-p

No I already told them i'm pg. Didn't want to be in a position where they offered me the job and then I had to admit it so just told them straight out! I'm still a "strong candidate" apparently which is good to know. But whether being up the duff will cloud their opinion on the day remains to be seen I guess. There'll be a load of other applicants whatever.

Its actually sunny here! :-o

DH just said he wants to wait another month before going to Docs.
I think we stopped dtd too early last month...maybe cd15
Need maybe to pay more attention to ov signs but no kits cos they are too stressful
I was dreading docs as I'm overweight and was worried they'd say I'm too old and fat!
Think I'm gonna agree with him and give it all we've got for one more month
We've only been trying since Jan

Will he be hard to get to the doctor's Purple or is he ok about going? Don't dread going, they're there to help you and you will be neither the most overweight nor the oldest person they have ever seen about this issue .

It was sunny here too but seems to have disappeared now. Which is good because then I feel less guilty about being inside but I feel rank!

My job will be basic maternity as well Lala - 6 wks 90% and then stat. We were so skint at the end of it last time, must budget better this time around.

Apparently he hasn't set foot in a docs in over 20 years!
He's really not keen at all.
The pressure of TTC has been getting to him
I've promised him 1 month of just shagging then we go to docs.

I'll only get stat mat pay too but I plan to do a few kit days. You're allowed 10 without losing smp although I think my boss will allow more

I guess its a little comprising on their manhood to have to go see the Dr about ttc! Fingers crossed for this month anyway x

Can you maybe go by yourself anyway for blood tests etc? (disclaimer - I have no idea what actually happens at the GP's).

Yeah you could always go and get the ball rolling your side. I would think they'll do day 21 and day 2 bloods for you first and that could take a while to organise depending on where you are in your cycle.

You could ask the question to the GP purple. What I've learnt from my time on conception boards is no two GPs or health authorities do it the same - that would be too easy and fair! Mine did ours tests together before referral to clinic, some send you straight to clinic and you can test alone. My friends health authority wouldn't test DH until all tests had been done on her (that ones made me so mad! Like its the woman's fault automatically!)

I know it probably doesn't feel this way but since Jan isn't that long. If you are over 35 they will want to you try 6mnths at least so it is good to give it one more shot. Takes patience though!!

Application finished popz??

Yeah I could go. I'm reluctant because I'm anxious about what they'll say. I could do with the support really. I need to man up...as does he!

Didn't know about the blood tests. Another reason for me to go to the docs to find out!

Thanks girls

Yup its finally done Dulce!