Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Saturday wil, think I just have to wait and see what happens
This isn't what normally happens with AF

Morning shaggers.
Another early one for me. One more day and I'll be fully in.new house all wifid up and ready to chat more.
Hope everyone is ok, sorry the red corvette has parked purple, don't let her get too comfy or she'll stay longer, she's a wench that one.
Lil you are so zen it's unreal, I'm.in awe x

She really starts to mess with our heads. I started spotting before AF when ttc. Never ever happened before and obviously just to mess with my symptom spotting crazy head. I hope it's not the witch Purple and it's implantation.

It's the witch :-(

purple

Morning viroids! Got very busy day today - working 2 jobs and didn't get to bed til 2am last night. Was helping dh with launch of new business which is today, hooray!

Got to drag ass out of bed!

Booked doc appointment for thurs. Still nothing :)

Fx Lala

My cycle has dropped a day every month for past 3 months. Now 26 days!
Spotting the day before happened for 3 months too

Def going to docs now. Just need DH to come with me

Good idea I think Purple, may as well find out if something is going on. Sorry she got you.

Lala that sounds a bit crazy, hope you don't fall asleep at work today and that the launch goes well! Also hope you are pg and that it just isn't showing up on tests.

How come it's sunny when I need to do housework and it rains when I want to go out?! Grr.

Hooray!!!! ERTD!!! Never been so pleased to see it. Now I can get in with my life again

Lala, I would say boo for AF... But if you're like I was when I was 9 days late with BFNs I was just so flipping happy to see her and move onto next month.

I'm 2DPO or so. And bored of twot already!

Fx for all you twotters! I'm presuming stress is the cause of my lateness and we will try again next month. Just so relieved to have something happen!

That's great you can get going again Lala. You need to sort that stress out!

Am I right in thinking u can go to doc after year of trying? It's a year since I came off pill so I'm hoping doc can give me a check up and perhaps see that everything is working as it should be?

Definitely go Lala, I am sure they will do blood tests etc after that length of time. If you're over 35 apparently it's 6 months but if I remember correctly that doesn't apply to you yet?

Hooray for AF! Never thought I'd be saying that in here ;-)

Lol popz I know - but I'm such an impatient person it's amazing to have an end

Understandable Lala. No point the witch being late if you're not sprogged up. Did you make a docs app in the end? Fingers crossed for a new month x

Yes go after a year
I am 40 with PCOS so I'm not leaving it that long. They might tell me to go away but hopefully it will get the ball rolling

And if they tell you that it's 18 months, then surely thats how long you've been trying? I normally don't advocate bull shitting the NHS but if you're concerned then I'm all for a little white lie.

What's the witch up to on this Fred? She needs sorting.

Right girls pma and pom poms out and shake 'em all about.

Hi all. Been a bit mia cos I can't use the app. Is it just me?

lala some places are 1year but a lot are 2. Its 2 here but the fertility clinic website actually says one! Anyhoo my go agreed to do bloods and sa after 1yr. We got referral because dhs sa wasn't great. So push for bloods and sa as a minimum even if they say you can't be referred yet. If those test show problems then you can get early referral. At least it then gets the ball rolling. Glad you finally know where you stand with the witch.

purple sorry AF is messing u around. Definitely get itself booked in with docs asap.

Zen is good min, it means I had a bottle of wine and a couple of fags last night, and I'm going to a spa tomorrow and won't be bothered about how long I'm in the jacuzzi :)

I left my contact lenses in by mistake last night and now my vision is really hazy :(

My apps not working either Lil. I found a thread about it somewhere so its not just us! Your weekend sounds amazing - enjoy x

Stupid app! Its not easy on website on phone!

Viroids! Been crazy couple of days. How's you all? Who's due for testing next? Witch never actually came after all that. Got one spot then she sped off again in the red convertible. Not sure whether it counts or not.

Doc booked for thurs.

Meanwhile I'm off to a South American themed dinner - going to shake my maracas and mardi gras. Unfirtunately dh working so no cape tonight

Are you serious Lala? What is going on?! You sound very chilled about it though, enjoy your evening.

Wine and spa sound awesome Lil.

Evening all! Missed a few days, busy night shifts don't allow MNing. Nor do they allow much cape-donning, so not holding out much hope for this month.

Before I'm so sorry, sending and - whatever you need.

Lala what's the witch playing at? Any chance you ovulated late and that's implantation??

Lala that's ridiculous!! You are SO upduffed!! Get thee to a Dr. Hope you enjoy your party tonight.

I've spent the WHOLE bloody day cleaning... and now I have to apply for a job.... I just want to sleep!!

Hope you've all got better weather than me for this lovely long weekend.