Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Oh shit Before that's awful news So so sorry to hear that. Take it easy, give yourself plenty of grieving time, I really hope theres better news for you in the near future xxx

so sorry to hear that Before. Take care xx

so sorry before

Oh before so sorry to hear that it really is shitty!!

before so sorry to hear that

sending you big hugs and thinking of you.

xxxx

before I'm so so sorry to hear that. Take as much time as you need to grieve. All my love to you and your OH xx

Oh darling, I'm truly sorry. Take care, lots of rest, cake and if you need to cry, get it out and we'll all be here ready to squeeze you into our jsing bosom when you're up to it. Xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss Before and I know there's nothing really helpful I can say. Lots of paracetamol, hot water bottles and rest on the couch if you can. We'll be here if you need us, take care of yourself xx

Oh Before that's awful lovie. Sending a hug and a bottle of wine xx

Morning viroids - what a sad day yesterday was. before we are here for you and whenever you feel ready we will be there to hold your hand and support you. Xxx

I'm off work today but typically have woken up early out of habit. Going to feed the cats and go back to sleep for a bit.

Is it nice weather where you all are? Ours can't make its mind up.

It was a sad day yesterday, hopefully we'll see before when she's ready but for now - we are thinking of you and sending hugs xxx

Today I have woken up in a better mood which is a good thing. Yesterday I managed to trap my thumb in the garage lock, giving myself an impressive blood blister and then being a total numpty I picked up the frying pan which had been under the grill - it was slightly hot so I did a mad dance round the kitchen, swearing my head off. I took myself off to bed at 9...I decided I couldn't get into any danger in bed!!

Weather looks okay here so far but I have no doubt that it will change at some point for the bank holiday weekend.

x

Lovely weather here so far this week! Off to the seaside with the PILs at the weekend so have no doubt it'll be tipping it down by then!

All this sunshine is making my house look very dirty. And i seriously cannot be arsed to do anything about it....

It's still beautiful here too - the storm that was forecast for today now seems to be pencilled in for tomorrow. Standing in the sun waiting for my train watching the, er, cute urban foxes frolicking around by the side of the tracks (what passes for wildlife in my part of town!)

Went to boots for contraband yesterday and a woman from my office was in front of me in the queue. Noooooo! If I get pg they must not know it was planned. Didn't recognise her from behind!! I don't think she'd know me by name even if she did realise I'm at the firm.

Gorgeous weather here too!

Oh my god Tabby, I'd have been a wreck. I'm an almost 30 year old married woman but I still feel like a naughty school girl buying pregnancy tests. I remember with my DD sneaking through self checkout at Morrison's but this time I went to buy some at tesco and they were in security boxes so I HAD to ask staff.

We'll I think I'm about ov time now. Hubs and I have very much had our capes on!

Nice here for once too. Oh no Tabby, did she see? Maybe not if she had her back to you?

I bet my house is worse than yours Rpopz! Too tired after work to bother with cleaning though!

Duck that sounds like a day of disasters, hope today is luckier.

I did a digi this morning and it said 2-3 weeks. I would have thought it would be 3+ by now so hoping it's just a bit inaccurate and it doesn't mean anything bad.

Good luck Mrs B!

Think it's ov day here too, felt a big twinge on one side this morning right round the same time I developed a raging attack of cystitis. Urgh reckon this month is out for us, no way any cape action is happening tonight! Sucks looking after a 3 yr old whilst running to & from the loo. Any cystitis survival tips? Haven't had it this bad for years.

splodge Drinks pints and pints of water! It'll be complete agony this eve because you will have to wee every 10 minutes but it'll hopefully flush put the infection

wil I remember getting a 2-3 with my daughter when I was certain it should be 3+ and everything was absolutely fine. Try not to worry x

towtting here now. AF/bfp due 2nd June. so if its AF hopefully be having hsg 12 June and we can finally roll this ball forward a bit more!

can't believe the sun is still shining!

Splodge water water water and cranberry juice, loads of it.

Still in limbo here! 17dpo. Still I've got stuff on this week which is helping

Cranberry juice is good for cystitis

Make sure its sugar free though! I feel your pain Mrs. I went through a phase of having cystitis every other week a few years back. Not fun.

cymalon is my go to sachet for cystitis. touch wood I haven't had it for years, but used to get it all the time!

lala seriously! when did you last poas and are you sure on 17dpo because of contraband?

I'm actually not sure if I've ever had cystitis, maybe once. no f*ing help whatsoever.

Lala this is crazy. Do you have any symptoms at all?

Thanks Mrs B, am sure it's fine, I just like a bit of paranoia to liven up my day .

Good luck Twotters!

Thanks all, sheesh Rpopz every other week?! That sounds horrific. Am on antibios now after reaching the weeing blood stage. (sorry TMI!) so hopefully theyll do their magic. Bit gutted it totally floored me just at 'fertile time'. Ah well at least I can get pissed on holiday next week without wondering am I, aren't i. :-)

Ps: ooh la la to Lala !!

Contraband may have been involved and pinpointed ov plus when ov finished (cd18/19). Now cd35, 17dpo and my cycles have been anything from 29 to 39 so I'm just sitting tight. Achy boobs, heartburn, spots, tired and bit sicky but tbh could be either af coming or due to stress as I've a lot on. Not eating much at the moment,

Stoopid body. Bfn this morning. I reckon it's a no but if so where is ertd??