Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

[EssieSaysRelax]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

A friend admitted to me yesterday that she is crap at remembering to take her pill and sometimes forgets for a whole week and then takes all 7 in one go! How could anyone actually be that stupid? She is also now accidently up the duff. Obviously. Another person I know (not a friend!) had a baby yesterday and gave him the most terrible name which is nothing short of child abuse.

Had a marriage first last night when our car broke down and we had to wait for 3 hours for the AA. We've never broken down together, it was quite fun! We walked up the road to MacDs and looked at silly stuff on DHs phone on youtube like cats riding vacuum cleaners. Car all mended now.

Hope everyone has a good day. Welcome back ! Wish there were [cape] and [unicorn] emoticons.

/^\

CAPE

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Unicorn

Ama- Zing !

I'm loving the pics but what do cape and unicorn mean?! I'm intrigued!!

Nice one Zing. You are clearly the resident technical expert now!

trood- cape is the cape you don for dtd e.g. Get your cape on= have some sex and the unicorn is the mythical creature we pass between us to stroke in times of need and when we need comfort. There was talk of some unicorn breeding before I went away. How's that coming along Essie?

oh I breed unicorns now

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pissed off unicorn

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BFN unicorn

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BFP unicorn

Are you in TWOT zing? You seem to have time on your hands....

still icing.

but I did have 10 mins while dh was in hot tub with kids.

so I thought you might appreciate unicorn zoo!

Well seems our new unicorn is getting on well with the old one as we've managed to produce lots of useful offspring! Well done Zing! I was worried about purchasing the right colour unicorn as I thought if we bred an orange one with a green one for instance, we'd end up with a brown one, which would essentially be a horse, therefore, not magic, but as bear pointed out, we might actually end up with a rainbow uni, which would be even more magic. I'm twotting and going out of my head. Just incase you couldn't tell.

Essie I love that your break down turned into a super-fun date night! My DH had a really nice (and expensive) car when we first met, but it was a total lemon and we found ourselves on the side of the road a lot. We kept Scrabble in the trunk for such occasions :)

smile__
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Hey!

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That's better.

bear I'd be throwing an absolute fit if they said I had to wait another whole cycle to get that test done. Is there any other lab you can go to? I'm a bit nervous about scheduling mine as well, as the testable dates are likely to coincide with my trip to Boston for my MBA graduation. I am going to have to work around it somehow...

Feeling positive- just lost 4lb on my first week at Slimming World so lower weight means more chance of getting pg?!

Also, been trying to DTD EOD but it just feels a bit predictable- anyone else found this?

broody yes I get so fed up with the predictability. I am much more adventurous sexually than dh and he doesn't get why I get 'bored' for want of a better word. u are not alone and I swear doing so often has wilted the power if my orgasms the sacrifices we make for our unborn children!

loving the unicorn farm!

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I was a bit mad Red especially as the main reason I couldn't have it done was because I'd still be bleeding on cd11 normally and the consultant said that wouldn't work so it left 3 other days one of which was a Saturday, the other a training day and the other all the consultants were on hols. Anyway, it gets even more annoying in that this month I finished bleeding on cd9 so could have bloody well done it after all. DH said I should ring to see if I could get an appointment but I'd already arranged to do other stuff now on those days. Also, it doesn't matter really when I doing as we won't get any results til November. Sheesh kebab - slow or what?! I could probably go elsewhere but the days I can have it done won't change now and I'm teluctant to go to the other hospitals in our area as they're under investigation for failing to give enough care to patients. All in all it seems sensible to just wait. Those are the joys of the NHS. It's a good service on the whole, but generally a bit slow in my experience. At least I don't have to pay for it in theory --although we all pay National Insurance of course- I know we're a lot better off than lots of other countries.

Anyway, I seem to have gone off on one here. Keep those unicorns coming Zing. Weird how they all have human faces though . . .

Blimmin' thumbs!

*It doesn't matter really when I do it

*reluctant

Sheesh, , that IS slow. Makes sense as you said to just wait, though. What else can you do?

I need to motivate DH to make his appointment for his blood work and semen analysis. Maybe I can bribe him with , which is our pet name for sex (nobody knows that but you girls - consider yourselves special!)....

I could go for a slice of the real thing right now....

red

I have lemon cake, will that do?

I love feeling special, thanks!

bear

here's your own bearicorn

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is that better?

Second day of TWOT.... DP says he can't put his finger on why, but I've been happier, more cuddly and loving recently....

Thoughts creeping into my mind that subconsciously I know I'm upduffed.... Can I have a hooya please?

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My unicorn has saddle bags and I've trained it to bring me wine.

ever so gentle hooya for fifi

fifi

Advice needed girls.
Am currently in Florida and wide awake with jetlag, so lots of thinking time to be had.
Right yesterday I got EWCM, a full week after icing, looked on dr goofle and he says sometimes its to do with an oestrogen surge. Perfectly normal like, but I'm still getting those constant dull pains in my womb area and lower back and on/off shooting boob lightening, no bloodhound smell, no penny in the mouth taste.
A little sore throat and quite a few headaches,,,

Hooya or no Hooya, that is the question!

Things did seem a bit unusual in the CM department with DS I seem to recall... Don't want to build false hop though

Hope! Stupid phone!