Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

[EssieSaysRelax]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

pizza - contraband free zone here! I'm being really tough on it - I even count poas before AF is 5 days late as contraband! (I'm afraid I'll only turn into more of a crazy lady if I break this rule). However, my cycles are pretty regular and I know when I ovulate, so it's pretty easy to know when to dtd. Then again, I'm only on cycle #2 so still full of blind optimism and faith...

Me too I panicked that there is something wrong, or worry there is something wrong with OH; he always says if we can't we can't and he would be happy to look at adopting, which makes me paranoid does he know something I don't??? I think it's natural to worry

My Basal Body thermometer has arrived! I frantically opened the packet read the instructions and was outraged to see that it said FOR RECTAL USE! It wanted me to leave it in there 3 mins! Luckily through shock I turned over the instructions to find it can be used orally too! Phew

Did smile thinking no one gets a baby by putting things in their bum! It's the wrong hole

"no one gets a baby by putting things in their bum" - can you tell my DP thus curly

Lol, I feel your pain, my OH "slipped" the other night, a little too accurately for my liking and was met with a swift smack from me!

Ladies, I had to post, as this is quite possibly the funniest thread I've ever stumbled across, and I haven't even read it all - just the odd comment. Not sure I'd be allowed to stay, as I think I break all of your rules, not on purpose right enough, but I did want to applaud you all on being hilarious, and making me actually lol - no mean feat considering I'm in a shocker of a mood today!

Stay comical!

curly I remember reading up on conception and that book actually warned about not assuming you're safe with anal as apparently it can 'drip down' and make ass-babies.

BTW, that's actually the one thing that gets me down a bit, we have more sex than we've had in a while, with the wedding over and no worry about contraception the pressure is off rather than on, but I do miss fooling around and doing other things than just penetrative intercourse....

aloho my bum does look bigger maybe I'm having ass babies?
I have to admit sometimes I know we have to do it, but maybe something more spontaneous would be more fun, we seem to do the same 3 baby-dance routines because sperm is a precious commodity and can't be wasted on fooling around! It's almost like hurry up with the foreplay I just need your spunk

Ha! Nice to know we're keeping someone entertained Nearly!
I think that was my last contrabandy cycle. Whilst useful to know I'm icing when I think I am, it caused way to much MUST SHAG NOW type stress, so no more! will prob still do at least 5 HPTs a cycle but no-ones perfect eh?
Minion - yes, it's only cycle 5 and I'm
already scared I'm infertile. I think it's pretty natural to be bricking it. Doesn't help when all around friends are getting upduffed! My BF just rang me today to say she's pregnant with her second!!

aloho I beg of you do not tell our DPs about ass babies! very funny though :)

You don't have to just stick to the baby making. Maybe do the functional, then round 2 is playtime? They say to dtd eod, so if you have an extra bit inbetween you could always be a bit more creative?

minion I was certain I was infertile because I'd never had a real pregnancy scare (despite being a bit contraception slack as a youngster) and I thought as one of 5 it'd be sods law that the daughter of a baby machine would be unable to herself. Got myself pretty down about it, over nothing really. After TTC for 6 months I got upduffed with DS. This time round I know I should be fertile, DP too as he has a DD.... Then once upon a google I come across secondary infertility.... Stupid computer.

Fingers crossed we all get our BFP so we can stop the crazy!

fifi that's a good idea although I worry about the potentially wasted spermicles :-) I do enjoy it I just consider it to be like house work, I don't really want to do it, I quite enjoy it while I'm doing it and afterwards I feel great!
OH is working away until tomorrow night and not due back until late however I will be waiting up as I have had my first positive OPK really missed him

I think round 2 wastage would be minimal, plus SMEP says EOD should have you rattling with swimmers so a bit of wastage is worth it of it stops DTD becoming an outright chore.

Round two My OH will complain that that's very ambitious! (sometimes you can really tell that he is 13 years older than me...) If the calculations are correct I should be icing over the bank holiday weekend, I do have to work that Saturday but Sunday and Monday will definitely be set aside for no-clothes weekend style shenanigans!

fifi you're obviously younger and fitter than me I think round 2 may go on hold in the place of a lovely cup of tea watching the 10pm news

nearly glad we're keeping you entertained.

ass babies...I didn't sign up for that! I'm sure I know a few people who were ass babies...oh no wait they're just arse holes!

what are your views on sex during the tww. dp keeps waiting to have sex every day or two days he just doesn't understand a baby can only be made when ovulating he think they're made all month round but I have heard it can disrupt implantation? I don't want to knock his enthusiasm but don't want to undo all our hard work in the window of opportunity!

We don't tend to do it in the 2WW purely because my boobs swell and become hard and impossible to touch; not sexy and I've found since tracking my cycle and thinking back once I've Ovd I feel sick and I'm grumpy which apparently is the progesterone?

Ass babies??? I will not be sharing that wisdom with dp!

Lmao pizza... I know a few of those too

Whats all this talk of round 2? In this weather and at my age I'm lucky to get round 1!!!

I never feel like it in the TWOT, but I do worry that us not doing it makes my DH feel like a baby making sperm machine

Ha! Love you lot. Ass babies. I do NOT want me one of those.

Cramping and spotting seems to have subsided now, though I felt like shite last night and went to bed at 9pm and struggled to haul myself out this morning, so deffo something up with me as I've never had that at cd8, but I feel ok now I've got going. Strange.

We tail off with DTD as we get into the twot, mainly because like curly I feel like crud. I usually think I know when I ov, but then ERTD has kept me waiting an extra few days the last couple of cycles so either my literal phase is up the swanny or I actually have no idea when I ov, which is distinctly possible.

Anyone doing anything interesting this week?

so it seems I have found the reason for my feeling so awful... BFP!!

congraulations coffee!! were you late? when did you dtd this month, you know how we like all the details...

coffee HOORAY! Really pleased for you!

All of you successful ladies make waiting somehow easier, I'm really happy for you!

I think I'm screwed trying to predict anything, anyway, partly because of my patchy period history and partly because my body likes to throw wobblies with my hormones. When DH and I first got together (first proper relationship, first dtd) I had a huge pregnancy scare as my period didn't come for two months. I ended up POAS and getting a blood test done because I was so scared, but it was just lovey-dovey 'courting hormones' messing me around.

AF arriving any day now, I seem to have 38/40 day cycles now ??? Rubbish.

I was due today :-). fertile period according to the calendar was 19th-24th July. we dtd every day on 20-23rd twice on 22nd .

I had an inkling as the dizziness and low bp I had early in my first pregnancy (not this early tho). I'm still in shock I think!

I emailed a pic of the digitest to dh who is working away until tomorrow. he's very excited :-)

Congratulations Coffee!! Fabulous news!
How many tests have you done so far? Have you worked out a due date?

I did one last night and thought a saw a very very faint line but want sure. did another first thing which showeda stronger but still faint line. so.. I went out and bought a digital one and it was bfp :-)

I have my parents staying this week (they live abroad). tempted to tell them before they go as only see them in person twice a year!

oh YAY Coffee! So happy for you. Massive Congrats. xx