Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

[EssieSaysRelax]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

I don't want people to know because I think then I will get even more people asking even more questions! But maybe if I tell them it will shut them up?!?! I don't mind when it's my best mates (I think they secretly know!) but its when its people who just want the gossip it drives me mad! For the last year we have said, we are just enjoying being married before we think about kids, but now we have had our 1 year anniversary they have all started again! Why can't people mind their own business!?

I don't think I get ovulation pains so can't be much help sorry! From the little I've read, it's a shortish, one sided pain so could be? Get your cape on pizza (what does yours look like this month)

pizza ov pain is different for everyone and no definitive evidence on what causes it. some ppl get it before others during some after. I tend to get twinges on and off leading up to ov then they get sharper as I ov then die down again and stop a little bit after ov. not everyone gets ewcm either. it can be watery which is just as good. some ppl just don't get as much so don't notice it unless they go looking for it! I consider myself lucky cos I get loads of ewcm right up until I ov.

thanks scott and lil1ady yes watery (tmi!) but no ewcm. DP doesn't finish work til 11pm and I've been up since 6am so I'm not sure whether its worth staying up late to get the cape on contraband showing very faint line. He's working every night this week so we won't manage a few nights in a row. Don't want to miss the window though. Gah!

Congratulations, KitKat

Info for all those ladies who are using contraband
Someone on here wisely told me that the the lines have to match for it to mean your are icing!!

Right who's next for there BFP's??

Make room in that pity pool viroids, I'm going for a cannon ball! I'm well and truly out and suffering. I feel a full on sulk coming on too. As gifts for the group I have brought coca cola and cinema sweet popcorn. It's one of my fave combinations.

essie if the luteal phase is shorter than 2 weeks it means that the lining of the uterus doesn't get thick enough.
It's very "sensitively" named luteal phase defect
and can be caused by polycystic ovaries, endometriosis, thyroid problems and even ED.
there's hormone treatments available to counteract the problem.

it can

oops

it can be corrected easily by over the counter or prescription drugs or by taking B6 vitamin supplements.

congrats kitkat lovely news.

Happy shagging the rest of you lovely viroids!

Congratulations Kitkat :)

I'm sorry for those with BFN or ERTD.

I definitely think my bleeding is now ERTD... its lighter than my normal periods and I've had no other symptoms I normally have but it can't really be anything else can it?

If it is then my cycle was short too (I think!) downstairs but I need an idiots guide to what this all means and what should be happening... off to find out on the internet!

I had a weirdly short period last time. Its as if your body senses you're trying to do something and purposely begins acting up & testing your patience (practice for DCs maybe?!). Also i didn't got a proper line on an OPK, just a couple of fairly faint ones?

Thank you so much for the lovely congrats viroids. DH was very happy but in slight shock - it turns out he thought he might not be able to have kids because 'one ball is much smaller than the other'!! I never noticed!! Poor PrinceKK and his tiny testicle! arf!

Hi everyone.

Pinch punch first of the month etc.

ERTD vacating the premisis here so I'll be getting my new pimped up cape on soon.

Re the literal phase thing. I've only been half paying attention to mine because my contraband useage is sporadic. So this cycle I am going to pay proper attention and try and work out how long it is as I have no idea! It could be anything from 10-18 days?!

Sorry to everyone else with ERTD, BFN and LPD (literal phase defects - no, not a very sensitive name is it? does it mean anyone with a literal phase that isn't 14 days is 'defective'? That'll be most of us then).

Nearly the weekend viroids! We are having a bbq tonight cos its DHs Bday.

xx

Morning ladies, hope everyone is all good

Congrats KitKat! Xxx

No AF yet, 2 days late but could just be another 35 days cycle ...... Cheers for those Mother Nature!

Downstairs that does sound a bit strange, I have found since coming off the pill that my periods are really inconsistent, both in arrival time, and then in amount of pain and flow as well. I had one which lasted 1 day, and then the next cycle it lasted 5 days. Weirdness.

essie My logic is that a longer luteal phase would not be a problem as that would mean that the lining has more time to grow and get thicker. and therefore more accommodating. does that make sense?

it's the less than 14 days that can cause the problems.

I think taking B6 vitamin is probably a good idea and easy to do, according to Dr Google.

btw I'm not ignoring everyone else!

I'm still here to cheer you all on!
also hugs to those who need it!

It's August meaning I can officially say I get married this month. Which is mental!

Having awful ERTD to take my mind off that though. Proper painful, luck punishment for being hopeful! Lol.

-I've- -bought- -some- -contraband-

I had EWCM mucus and pains I normally have during OV, but I should've OVed ages ago. Frustrated!

I'm at softplay with my ds just just now, there's only him and an older boy here, the older boy was telling him about his sister. My ds replied 'me getting a sister but not in mummy's tumny yet, maybe later.' the boys grandad is trying to stifle a laugh. Sad times when even your two year old knows your ttc!!

Oh pizza, thats so cute. Bless him.

Dulcet, sorry to hear you are in pain.

Aloho, sorry you are also in the screwed up icing club.

and for everyone. x

aloho I'm not completely out this month though the signs are there and have also purchased contraband for use this coming month not that I know what I'm doing really

DH just emailed me to say he is going to be away with work again in 2 weeks, according to my app this is The Week We Need To Shag. FFS. This never going to happen! Out of the 8 cycles so far 5 of them have involved us not actually being together at the right time, 1 of them he had a groin strain and was crippled, and the others I didn't know wtf I was up to and hadn't learned about jsing, literal phases, EWCM and all the other jizz jazz.

TMI alert - I have EWCM and have phoned OH to say there is an emergency at home and he needs to leave work now!
Hoping there could still be time for me this month, however it could all be a nasty trick like it was earlier in the month! Hopefully these 50day cycles may cut down! So at least I have more bloody chances at it! Sod's law that this weekend is going to be the good time for baby making were going to stay at a friends! Just have to be naughty and sneak off and do it in the car needs must an all that