Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1 (thread 3)

[Bunnygirlie]

Hey ladies, we're over here!

bunnygirlie, 32, TTC since June, AF coming around New Year!
Twinklestar 2, TTC1, cycle 16, BFP was due 19/12
BraveLilBear,TTC
Lolcbcb,TTC
Aquarius,TTC
Happylass 34 cycle 4 BFP due Jan 1st
Navis176, 35, TTC #1, cycle 3 (this time around), bfp due around 19 Jan (I think?)
Neshie, 31, TTC #1, on cycle 9, after stopping the pill 18 months ago (took 10 months for AF to return!) BPF due 12th January Fx
MotherOfCleo TTC#1, cycle 3, 5dpo, BFP due New Years Day.
Viviennewestwould, 41, childless hag, TTC one year (mmc in March), on Clomid, ovulating today!
Pipbin 37 cycle 16 BFP due 26/12

Zombies, 32, almost 3 wks pg (by my calculation)- per standard
measurement from LMP, 6 weeks pg, PCOS.
MeanMrsMustard 31, 5 weeks pregnant.
Quod,33, PG
Purplemonster, PG
Janey 38, 12 week scan on Christmas Eve
HazleNutt, due June 21st
Rach, 34, 13+4 pg, due 26th June

Apologies if I've missed you or got something wrong

Thanks for the welcomes and pleased to see there are some expert tempers here (as is those taking temperatures, not angry ppl!). I'm on my first month temping and started mid-cycle as I didn't know what I was doing. But I did discover a massive dip the morning AF arrived, so that was interesting - and a good warning so I was prepared.

I must say while I like the idea of temping and starting to get to know my body a bit better, taking a minute each morning before I do anything else (like say good morning to DH!) is a bit of a pain, and I worry DH thinks I'm obsessing. So far he's staying out of it, and mostly understands that I need to feel I'm doing SOMETHING after nearly a year of TTC. I now only wish I'd started sooner so I would have some charts to compare - my 11 days so far aren't very enthralling!

On OPKs, is there any consensus on when they work best? Someone mentioned the second pee of the day, but I'd rather not be doing it at work. Any suggestions?

Thanks Viv. I've been having some OV pains/niggles so hopefully all is well. How are things with you?

Phew! Someone who knows what they are talking about came along to explain! On a Friday night, the best explanation for crosshairs you'd have got out of me would have been 'they are the uppy-downy side-to-sidey liney thingybobs'

Thanks ladies though I can't see any cross hairs?? I chart with iperiod and My Days (as a back up!!). I initially tried Fertility Friend but the app didn't seem to work properly. I want cross hairs!

Rumple, OPK sticks should not be peed on with first morning urine simply because Luteinising Hormone (LH) synthesizes over night and will frequently give a false positive reading. The best time to pee, then, is between 12pm and 8pm, with the optimum time being 3-4pm. You should limit your fluid intake for the two hours prior to testing so as not to dilute the urine and get a false negative. The test line has to be at least as dark as or darker than the control line - anything else is a negative (no matter how strong you think it is). Once you have detected an LH surge there is no need to test again that cycle. Ovulation will occur 24-36 hours later (although it can be as early as 16 hours or as late as 48). Obviously, then, it is prudent to make sure there is plenty of sperm in situ before you see a positive LH surge; waiting for it before you have sex may be leaving it too late.

Happy, thanks for asking - we are doing great on paper, it's just disheartening to feel my sex drive has vanished since Michael relapsed. I'm hoping it's shell-shock/stress and not my having lost respect (and hence sexual desire) for him

Happy, you can only get cross-hairs when ovulation can definitely be confirmed, which is three days after a sustained rise.

Welcome Rumple. For opks I found that for me I found the second pee of the day was the best time to test. I would get up, pee, get washed etc and then go for another pee just before leaving the house to go to work. Still, it's how you find they work for you.

Lap and dye is booked for Thursday!

So glad that all is well Viv. I'm sure the libido will return shortly. Not surprising it's done a runner with all you've been through lately.

For me Rumple OPKs work best around 4pm. In fact a few months ago I tested with a CB digi mid morning and got a negative then tested later that same day and got a positive. Was negative again the next afternoon. So shows how easy it is to miss the surge. But everyone's different!

Delighted to report that my temperature was up by another 0.14 this morning. Now higher than it was after last months OV. Feeling a little more positive than yesterday!

rumple I found second pee best for me too, although my second pee isnt until around 11am (ish), i just pee in a pot at work do the test and throw all the stuff in the sani bin afterwards, nobody would ever know. I only use the cheapy amazon dip sticks and altho manky I admit i have put it in my pocket before to check once the 10 mins is up.

You ladies are fabulous! Thanks for all the tips, viv, happy mother and Pip . Two conclusions for me: First, I need to be willing to test at work even if it's a bit more messy; and Secondly, I really need to buy some more sticks! I had bought a 7 pack from Boots thinking that would last one cycle at least, but clearly 2 or more tests a day means I'll need to get some internet cheapies!

And I have now understood the point about there being plenty of swimmers in situ, ready for ovulation. That's the fun bit!

On temping, my temperature seems to be all over the place - CD11 today, and just shot back down to my CD1 temp. Hopefully it'll start to make sense after a while....

Viv - I'm in shock after what you've been through the last ten days, so it's no surprise your libido is too! It sounds like you've got the right approach though, I think building up the non-TTC affection is a good next step. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. It sounds like the bond between you is incredibly strong - that's what'll bring the libido back more than worrying will.

So is anyone due to POAS? I've got nearly three weeks to go, so good news from someone else would be inspiration to keep me going!

Rumple, I've tended to get positives in the afternoon between 1 and 4pm. I'm a bit rubbish at making sure I drink during school hours, so that is when I'm best for getting nice concentrated pee!

I do mine at work when I have to. I use a small plastic cup (think kids' parties) and chuck it in the sanitary bin when done! (This bin is for sanitary products only - I'm such a rebel!) I use cheapy internet sticks too, so I just pop it back into the packet and zip it into a little inner pocket of my bag (my pee stick pocket - lovely). I'll usually then go and rehydrate then head back to the loos to check it after 5 minutes or so.

My lovely DH doesn't know about any of this - I think not telling him has helped keep the sex going over the last 17 cycles...I'm pretty sure pee stick pockets aren't the most erotic...

ha ha boodle, love the rebellion , and wondering which section of my handbag might work as a pee stick pocket .

Was considering mentioning this to DH but I think you're right on the erotic point. And as he's just about ok with the temping, I think the having to perform on demand might not be the best seduction technique. And no need to tell him every babymaking thought that goes through my mind - That's what we have MN for anyway!

Pip, great news about your lap and dye. I'm going to 'demand' a HSG next Wednesday from my consultant - a free one

Thanks, Happy and Rumple, you are right, of course, about the libido. My biggest worry is how Michael's relapse has left me feeling afraid for myself. I feel like I am now staring in the face of my own fallibility and that he has shaken the foundations of my own recovery. I'm probably just shell-shocked, still.

Welcome rumple!

Argh I fell asleep last night and didn't dtd! Haven't dtd since Monday and we're supposed to be dtd every other day this month.

Now on cd20.

[puts stern hat on]: Twinkle!, you will never get preggo if you don't have sex! Have you had a positive OPK yet?

I feel fan-bloody-tastic after just doing a 3-mile run, up hill and down dale (unavoidable, sadly, living in a valley) without stopping! I already train with kettle bells, circuit train and spin but I decided in order to get back to my pre-miscarriage weight I need to run. I abhor running - such a torturous discipline - but nowt shifts fat quicker. I have 12lbs to go...

Ooh, you are good, viv ; I've just started up jogging again but am really bad at it! My running style is very inefficient so I'm doing short bursts and working on adapting my technique. So far I can definitely feel the difference but it's going to take me a while to build back up to being able to do 3 miles straight...especially when there's hills!

Pip - your lap & dye is the same day as my scans. Hope it goes well for you!

Viv - my monitor peaked last week at cd11. We dtd cd10, 11, 12, 13 and 15 which was Monday.

I wanted to keep on going as I don't trust the monitor. Cd11 seems very early to peak.

I've missed dtd cd16-19 - really hope that's not a crucial time and the sperm from cd15 was enough!!

I go out three mornings a week and run 3 miles. However I walk to the top of the hill first, and being in East Anglia there is only one.

DH and I have been so busy the last week that we haven't had any time for each other. Today we had two people viewing the house, and after the second one went we went to bed. I've only just got up again!

Oh viv you've made me feel guilty now! I was planning on going for a run today I too need to shift my miscarriage weight or at least tone it up but instead I'm sitting on the sofa eating chocolates! I'd used the rain as an excuse but maybe I should go to the gym? (She says whilst reaching in to the chocolate tin). Am hoping to poas tomorrow and get a negative result so that we can start dtd again in the hope of making a positive result :)

check you girls out! I did an hour Bokwa class last night, cant recommend it highly enough its so much fun

With you on that, Mother, even as a kid I was always more into gymnastics and dance than the more obvious PE lesson sports. Now, as an adult, I do 3 - 5 dance-based classes a week and I LOVE them. Have lost quite a bit of weight over the last year or so too. However, I still need to get back into the running as it's the only way I can shift weight off my awful tree trunks legs!

Viv you'll be pleased to know I've dtd

yay twinkle lol, lets hope they are usain bolting their way northwards as I type lol. tbh that sounded random even as I typed it lol

Go twinkle. 5 DTD sessions this week in the happy household. Fx that's enough!

weve dtd 4 times so far this week and im only on cd11, now things start in earnest, hope the OH is prepared lol