Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1 (thread 3)

[Bunnygirlie]

Hey ladies, we're over here!

bunnygirlie, 32, TTC since June, AF coming around New Year!
Twinklestar 2, TTC1, cycle 16, BFP was due 19/12
BraveLilBear,TTC
Lolcbcb,TTC
Aquarius,TTC
Happylass 34 cycle 4 BFP due Jan 1st
Navis176, 35, TTC #1, cycle 3 (this time around), bfp due around 19 Jan (I think?)
Neshie, 31, TTC #1, on cycle 9, after stopping the pill 18 months ago (took 10 months for AF to return!) BPF due 12th January Fx
MotherOfCleo TTC#1, cycle 3, 5dpo, BFP due New Years Day.
Viviennewestwould, 41, childless hag, TTC one year (mmc in March), on Clomid, ovulating today!
Pipbin 37 cycle 16 BFP due 26/12

Zombies, 32, almost 3 wks pg (by my calculation)- per standard
measurement from LMP, 6 weeks pg, PCOS.
MeanMrsMustard 31, 5 weeks pregnant.
Quod,33, PG
Purplemonster, PG
Janey 38, 12 week scan on Christmas Eve
HazleNutt, due June 21st
Rach, 34, 13+4 pg, due 26th June

Apologies if I've missed you or got something wrong

Retro - welcome! Oh and stop the sprout bashing . I had them just last night as they are my FAVOURITE VEGETABLE EVER. Yum.
In terms of getting pg, I got pg by accident (unbelievable, I know - especially now I know how bloody difficult it can be) the year before last with an ex, when on the mini pill (and he had tried for years with his ex wife for children and had a poor sperm count). I missed one, but thought I would be fine. Apparently not - the mini pill is (so my GP cousin told me after the event!) different to the combined pill in that if you're 12 hours late you have no protection after all - and somewhat of a fertility spike it would seem. Anyway it wasn't planned, but I decided to go ahead with it on my own, but unfortunately had a mmc diganosed at 12 weeks.
Fast forward to this time with my lovely DP (who I've known for six years but only been with for one) Came off pill and had a funny first month, with bleeding every few days. Next month cycle felt more regular but BFN. Next month took it more seriously with OPK, drinking full milk, eating super healthily (not as in low calorie, but good, home made, well-balanced meals) and got my BFP. That was actually the first month I got EWCM too.
I know I was very lucky indeed, especially at the grand old age of 38...

mother yes we have told family and close friends, also some colleagues. News was mostly met with much squealing and congratulating.

Yes, we're finding out the sex, I don't care much for surprises.

mother yes, I've told friends, family, and as of Friday, my boss and lots of colleagues. Boss was amazing actually. Sprung it on him mid-appraisal, and (given my company has been notorious in the past for being taken to court by women whose jobs have disappeared whilst they were on mat leave) even talking about new roles for me, pre or post ML.

Oh hazle I don't know whether to find out the sex or not. DP really does want to, but I think I'm a bit too suspicious somehow. Who knows if I will be able to resist the temptation on the day.

Really sorry to hear some of you are having a rubbish time - thinking of you

Adding myself to the list....

Neshie, 31, cycle 9 TTC#1, AF due 12 Jan
Navis176, 35, Cycle 3 after mmc, TTC #1, due 18th Jan
Boodle, 29, Cycle 17, TTC#1 AF due 19th Jan
Twinklestar2, 33, TTC #1, cycle 17, BFP due 24 Jan
Happylass, 34. Cycle 5. AF due Jan 25th
bunnygirlie, 32, cycle 8, AF due end Jan
Retroelement, 35, cycle 6, AF due end Jan
MotherOfCleo, 29, cycle 5, TTC#1, BFP due Feb 1
Yorkiebilb - 34 ttc %231 cycle 1 after mmc in Dec. BFP/AF due 4 Feb
Pipbin 37 cycle 17, unknown AF as lap and dye on the 18th Jan.
BraveLilBear,
Aquarius,
Viviennewestwould, 41
Pipbin, 37
Quod, 33
Zombies, 32
MeanMrsMustard, 31
Purplemonster

BelissimaLol, 38, 12 scan on 22nd jan. terrified
Janey 38, just about 14 wks PG, due 9th July
HazleNutt, 34, 16 weeks PG, due on 21st of June
Rach, 34, nearly 16 weeks PG, due 26th June.

janey, suspicious? I think that well, it is going to be one or the other eventually anyway, so why not find out sooner?

Ha, suspicious. Can you tell I barely slept last night?! Am going mad. Mean superstitious, which is weird, given I'm not superstitious about ANYTHING else...

Oh I DEFINITELY want to find out gender, didn't really give OH a choice, I'm far too impatient to wait! 20 week scan on 12th February so hopefully will find out then.
Can someone update 'the list' for me, I need to be with the other upduffed people at the bottom, I'm due on 2nd July oh and I'm 30, but only for a couple more weeks!

Hello peeps, thanks for get well wishes. I am off work and feel bloody awful. Backache, bad nausea since Saturday so assumed it was my IBS until I got the shakes and shivers last night and was sick this morning. Must have a bug which is worst timing ever, need to be DTD this week and then weekend away next weekend more DTD :-(

Crumbs, ladies, your kindness and support, despite barely knowing me, is really humbling. Thank you. I woke yesterday morning to find Michael sat with his head in his hands, weeping. I was very calm and asked him one question: when did you start drinking? He replied, '11 o'clock yesterday'. When I repeated the question, asking how many months ago he started he looked at me quizzically and said that Saturday had been the first time. I reminded him of his ramblings, his filthy profanities and his insistence that he had been 'at it for months'. He simply shook his head, saying he didn't remember getting home never mind what he said. I became apoplectic. I threw a cup at his head which he ducked from and my cat is only alive due to a miracle of physics. I punched him. I was screaming so violently I was dribbling and coughing.

When I was calmer he tried to imply that Saturday 'had to happen', that it was somehow 'inevitable' after the intense pressure he was under to give me the baby I so desperately want. I went fucking mental all over again. I told him I would NOT take responsibility for his choices on Saturday. I told him that acute stress does not excuse his throwing away our future and his sobriety after nearly three years being sober. I told him he had the tools to resist his demons but that Saturday had been a much-nurtured process of planning and fantasy which he had deliberately hidden from me and which we could have battled together.

My sister picked me up and took me to Mum's where I was comforted and prayed for (we are all evangelical Christians; me - not a very good one). I spent the day being loved like I've never felt loved before. I got this text from Michael in the evening: 'What possessed me to think that my life would be bearable without you in it, I have absolutely no ides. I have clearly made the biggest mistake of my life and yet I don't recall saying "sorry" for ruining your life. I am so sorry for what I have done to both you and your family. I am simply empty now. You said you felt like you were dying. I feel like I am dead."

viv I hope this is the wake up call he needs, I hope that after some time apart you guys can work it out. Sounds like he does love you and wants to give you that baby that you both want. Will keep everything crossed for you, hugs

Viv you are a strong lady. My hope is that you can come to a peaceful decision about how you both deal with his monumental cock-up, and of course that he is able to find the resources to tackle his illness. Glad you are getting some RL support.

Another morning spent at EPAU this morning - I had some horrible pain/bleeding/clots last night so went in for 3rd concurrent Monday dildocam action. Have been panicking about infection/possible repeat ERPC but saw v reassuring consultant today and FINGERS CROSSED my womb looks in good nick considering, there is a small bit of tissue left that should resolve on its own, but no infection or swelling in tubes, ovaries healthy etc. So now just have to take it easy and recover. I think I have finally accepted that I have no control here and that there is no point me fretting about work/how long it is taking, that I really do have to just rest up and stop struggling against biology. Trying to take small steps back towards positivity.

Oh bunny hope you feel better!

viv I can't even imagine what you've been through this weekend! I just hope he has had the wake up call he needed, booze never was, never will be and never can be his friend, it can never be the thing he turns to when he feels alone, stressed, worried, anxious, he should have known that when he walked in the pub and should have called someone to ask for help. It will only weaken his foundations and destroy what he has worked hard to build!
From his text at least he has finally decided to say sorry, that word they find so hard but which means so much to us I really hope you are doing as well as you can, been thinking of you We are always here as a non judgmental ear or shoulder to cry on....you are one of us and we look after our own

Neshie, 31, cycle 9 TTC#1, AF due 12 Jan
Navis176, 35, Cycle 3 after mmc, TTC #1, due 18th Jan
Boodle, 29, Cycle 17, TTC#1 AF due 19th Jan
Twinklestar2, 33, TTC #1, cycle 17, BFP due 24 Jan
Happylass, 34. Cycle 5. AF due Jan 25th
bunnygirlie, 32, cycle 8, AF due end Jan
Retroelement, 35, cycle 6, AF due end Jan
MotherOfCleo, 29, cycle 4, TTC#1, BFP due Feb 1
Yorkiebilb - 34 ttc %231 cycle 1 after mmc in Dec. BFP/AF due 4 Feb
Pipbin 37 cycle 17, unknown AF as lap and dye on the 18th Jan.
BraveLilBear,
Aquarius,
Viviennewestwould, 41
Pipbin, 37
Quod, 33
Zombies, 32
MeanMrsMustard, 31

BelissimaLol, 38, 12 scan on 22nd jan. terrified
Janey 38, just about 14 wks PG, due 9th July
HazleNutt, 34, 16 weeks PG, due on 21st of June
Rach, 34, nearly 16 weeks PG, due 26th June.

Purplemonster, 30, PG due on 2nd July

viv - so lovely to hear from you. Been a bit worried.
What an awful time you're having. I have to echo bunny - he sounds as if he's had the shock he needed, and hopefully this break will make him realise his priorities, and that losing you and his future with you will be a lot more stressful than trying to make a baby.
Glad your cat escaped unharmed.

Massive cross post.
quod - sounds like you're on the road to recovery, at long last. Are you getting negative pregnancy tests yet? For me that felt like a massive milestone - and took a tortuously long time. Glad it looks like no further op was needed, and hope you're not in too much pain
for you too x

Oh and yes, TAKE IT EASY quod. It's shocking how much it takes out of you, physically and mentally. The emotional pain was horrendous and I guess to be expected of something so tragic, but the fact it was so utterly draining physically took me by surprise.

blimey viv - such trauma - I'm really glad you have supportive real life family. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but the apology is a positive thing.

Viv and Quod you are both incredible, brave women, and I really, really hope it gets better for you both from here. So sorry you are having such shitty times.

Everyone else, I am rooting for your BFPs & healthy scans as ever. What a great and inspirational bunch of people to hang out in the Interweb with. Sincerely hoping 2013 brings us all the healthy babies and happy partners that we all want.

Post Script
Last night we DTD just for fun, and I woke up to find I have pulled a muscle in my shoulder during the excitement. I am now officially old.

I'm so glad he's come to his senses and apologised Viv. And I'm sure you've politely informed him that he won't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant if he does it again because you'll chop his nob off and feed it to the cat.

That sounds like positive plumbing news Quod after such a rough ride

Really sorry you feel so bad Bunny. Fingers crossed the worst is over and you feel up to DTD when necessary.

Retro we started TTC while on holiday at the beginning of September. The dates were perfect but came home to a BFN, so I ordered a BBT thermometer and a Clearblue Ov Test and it worked first time so we conceived on the second cycle trying. In hindsight I think we were very very lucky as it takes most people much longer although DH thinks it's down to his super sperm.

Mother I had pretty much told close family, a few friends and my boss by about 8 weeks because I am rubbish at secrets. Everyone was really pleased but not too shocked as we hadn't kept it a secret that we were trying. People were more shocked at how little time it had taken! I am desperate to find out the sex and want to pay for a private gender scan now but DH says I am being ridiculous is insisting we wait until the 20 week scan on 11th Feb. Men!

And Pip, Happy & Boodle, please can you add me to the list of people who would like to be teachers? I would love 13 weeks holiday!!!

Crikey captain lol

Only managed to eat a few crackers today, bad times!

hi all. so I probably don't have the right to moan after what others are going through but you're a sympathetic lot so...

At 4am sunday morning I was woken up with period cramps. they started off bearable but soon i was up and about searching for the ibuprofen. then i spent over an hour in unbelievable agony. i was crying out (which I never do), writhing in pain, sweating, and even dared calling out for dh despite it being 6am on a sunday (we never do 6am on a sunday - weekend lie-ins are sacred). and (sorry if tmi) i also had diarrhoea. and then af arrived.

I've suffered from period pain (and had prescription NSAIDS) most of my menstrual life but never this bad. it spread to my back, thighs and the whole of lower abdo and I went grey with nausea. i actually thought about ringing 999 and would have if hadn't been for af arriving and the pain eventually subsiding and knowing i'd've just had to wait in a&e for 4 hours. I know it sounds dramatic, but it was the worst pain I've ever felt. has anyone here suffered the same? I am going to the docs as soon as I can, work permitting. someone on another thread who was talking about period pain said it could be caused by endo so i'm quite afeared of what the doc might find. had anyone had this? can it prevent you from getting pg?

moan over and sorry for blurting it all out

quod im glad things are getting sorted, so sad that you had to go through it all though

OMG aqua that sounds terrible, have you been to the doc?

ohh wow aquarius that sounds horrible!!! Im sorry but I have very light pain free AFs, so Im no help to you

Really hope the doc can help!

Thanks for adding me to the list Mother. Much sympathy for everyone who is having a difficult time but couldn't help but snort laughing at the idea of Viv feeding her husband's knob to the cat. Sorry. Cats are quite fussy though so I don't think it would be impressed.
Rach your dates are really similar to mine! I feel like I can't wait to find out gender now but OH would have a fit if i suggested spending money on a private scan. Don't even know where would do it in darkest Devon!