Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

In That Merika? Ooh. Lucky Lollipop

Right. What shall I revise this morning? Biomechanics of the pelvis or the shoulder? You decide 12pt ...

Hello all. Have been lurking and am pretty impressed what you've done with the barn in such a short space of time.

Rant alert... Made a mistake - ordered The Fertility Diet on Amazon, it arrived this morning, and just had a skim through it with my morning latte. Apparently the morning latte is what is screwing my chances of ever conceiving up. Coffee is bad. Milk is bad. Organic is good. Fuck me. This is all news. News to bloody Sarah Dobbyn, when I've given these things up [for five months at the beginning of the year], I've also failed to conceive. Fuckfuckfuckfuckity fuck. I may as well have gone to the bloody 'Fertility Show' and bought a cat-o-nine-tails.

Rant over.

Oh shoulder definitely.

Forgot to say - I feel like that too, salty. I think HO and I only want one small person, which makes me particularly of those BESHes who already have one. But I also envy Scorps' skin, Banger's bone structure, Aries job/location, Lozza's USA road trip (that's where she is Rie). Doesn't mean I love them all any less.

Have just read back. A Day 9 POAS HB? Just because SofaKitten on that other (drunken) thread did that doesn't mean it's right or proper Day 9 indeed. Do it in a few days, Ovaltine allowing.

Proof to self of Too Much Wine: saw Head's 'classless' compliment- thought, ooh, that's a goodun, wish I'd thought of that, and then reading back saw that in fact, it was me. oops.

Feeling slightly un femalesolidarityish questioning another woman's right to BESHdom- and so if anyone is offended, I apologise- but then remember it's her (have insider knowledge that she's a complete bit of a cow too) Perhaps we should drop the matter, and deal with it if/when she applies?

To those woofling, many snogs, would you like me to check/ prod anything just to be sure?

Am very pleased for the Chilean miners. Very pleased.

Who's BrownB?

Lyra how nice of you ! I would trade it in for Aries' pet seal though .
And yes 12pt, this was all ebcause of Sofakitten, and then my drunken googling leading me to lots of threads on which women got BFPs on 7DPO. Do you think they're lying? I myself am beginning to think this whole pregnancy thing is all lies. I mean - come ON. A baybee in your tummy? BOLLOCKS! How is that even possible?!

It is a lie.

I was waiting for the stork to drop it off. Isn't everyone else?

Hello Brownie Are you new? If so pliz to find the Beshtionnaire immediatemente (?) and complete it for full entry to the palace.

If you're not new then PLEASE can we all stop name changing for a bit? I have no frigging idea who anyone is half the time any more and it makes groping you more awkward.

9DPO indeed Head . Tis madness. Now come over here and bend over.

HB I think they are either telling porkies or don't know when they ov'd and are guessing wrong!

Ah Brownie I have just stalked you retrospectively and see you filled in a BESHtionnaire last thread, muchos apologos. Where haz you been since though? We are only just short of a cult in terms of the devotion we demand... Welcome back, anyhow. If you get the lattes and muffins in it'll be like you were never away, I'm sure...

My revision would be going much better if I could stop watching footage of those miners being hauled to the surface and weeping.

I bought two FR this morning because they were on BOGOF in Boots. Bearing in mind I already have several million internet cheapies upstairs. Now they are calling to me. Am sort of thinking what is point of buying FR if you don't do it ridic early?

Didn't get BFP til 14dpo last time and that was v faint but on a cheapie and pretty strong when repeated on a FR. Which makes me think...at what point would it have showed up? Maybe 10 or 11?

Only 6dpo, give me stern spanking and off to bed early. Temps dropped below coverline this morning - has fuelled menkul no end.

How you doing Cassoulet? Is mini-stew on mend?

Oh now then LGG that is far too early . Wait until 10DPO at least!

Hey Cass - well, I've kinda been here lurking. But I can't do any reading or posting at work, and am generally knackered when I get home. I read, have a good chuckle, and think of something to say... decide it's too lame and delete.

Now LOOK you two, I have two hands. I can spank you both, you know...

Mini on mend fanks Gaga. Though now has a new cold, but that's just par for the course this time of year...

Chocolatebrownies no comment is too lame round here. You can indeed burn TFD in the pit, there are still some smouldering embers of a thousand flyers for the Fertility Rip-off Show down there that I lit earlier to keep meself warm.

No posting at work? Is surely human rights violation. What sort of thing do you do, and how come you're able to be here today?

LGG 6DPO means definately no testing for you young lady!! That is waaaaaay too early. I can understand the menkul from this morning's temp - but think logically. If that IS implantation (and I'm hoping it is ), then any associated hormones are yet to be created, so would not show up on any PG test for a good few days yet. You need to sit on your hands for a while yet

I know. I'm just so stupidly keen cos it'd be first droid since mc. And I really don't want to see the little fucker. I would have been 12 weeks yesterday, probably telling people at work today. Anyhoo, will def wait til weekend at least. Sunday would be 10dpo, but have big boozy engagement on sat night - conundrum.

D'oh - Engagement party

How many times must we cover this? This is BESHland. The answer is always DRINK!!!

We may have to add it to the commandments...

LGG First Response are rubbish which is a TRUFACT. Step away from the sticks. It is Too Soon.

I feel your pain luvver.

I have carrot, apple and walnut muffins with a seeded top, parmesan and poppy biscuits and, like, the bestest ever chocolate fudge cake you'll ever taste...ever...for y'all. Am practising for bake off in tomorrows class

Hello doublechocolatebrownie. Ignore it all...well that's my new take on the subject anyway. Trillions of women throughout time have got pregnant whilst in the most stressful and least nutritional of circumstances. I think it's all a mind control guilt thing. Paranoid android? I am going to enjoy myself and if that means cake and wine then so be it (although may not share this with needles lady ). (p.s. I have tried the nun with sex approach to no avail)

What's this with the early testing laydeez..is the road to menkulness and poverty as you'll never believe it anyway. Although the Boots BOGOF on first response now means I have a major stash

Flying visit BESHes.I have an assessment for a job in a bit where I will actually have to do maths. OMFG. Will catch up proper later.

Cass - I work in a job where I work shifts. I start work at varied times every day. Which wrecks havoc with my BBT, among other things...

LGG - I'm sorry about that 12-week thing. It's a sad time... Fingers crossed for the weekend.

Am about to ovulate I reckon, so am about to start the 2WW and menkul stuff.

OI! There'll be no palming off of The Klass onto the PESHes, thankee very much She's all shiny and bouncy and wholesome - characteristics I find wearying in a puppy, never mind a grown woman.

She seems very nice, actually, but not a BESH.

And talking of BESHdom, it seems that it's not a new phenomenon, but a state of mind that has been going on for generations:

Hmm have asked Dr Google and believe this uncomfortable feeling is that german word for ovulation pains, but why now when they have been popping out painlessly for 16 years? And why so long after the EWCM? Stupid bits playing confusing tricks now that I have started paying them attention

Good luck for your assessment cincoquento kindly lob baked goods in my direction

Here, I have a nice story! I haz been talking to a lady called Violet5 about portable phones, and she said she was expecting her sixth. Well obviously I pulled an envious face at her, & said it had been 10 babyfails pour moi & pliz could I have some of her fertility pliz. And very sweetly she said that she hadn't always had it easy - one of her took a year and another took two. So there you go - it really is all ramdomness, & however long it takes, who knows, we might all end up with 5 or 6 .