Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

I'm ok thank you moley

Is it ok that I feel just a little bit jealous of those of you who have an ankle biter already? It really doesn't mean that I want you to stop talking about them, or that I think you have any less right to feel shit about the TTC rollercoaster (ooh...next fred could be in a fairground!!). Just that I think I am going to be an barren old lady with lots of cats, who will smell of wee and lavender. And if I can be honest with you about the amount of FFJ I uselessly produce, I can be honest about pretty much anything....

I truly don't want you to not mention your children....

Actually hagelettis, pliz to ignore last post. Am self indulgent cow.

Aw, sorry about the droid starmanwaitinginthesky would you like to borrow Edward from the twilight books (I don't care what his real name is) for some jail bait distractions?

Hope you evening is going better than mine turnturnturn as FDH is crying uncle with a nasty dose of piles?

Am trying to get him drunk but he watching me with suspicion.

Sorry for droidal action StarsOn45 pliz to have some of this lovely vodka punch I'm gulping down testing in preparation for TGB's bidet party at the weekend? I might lend you David Beckham too if it gets any worse

Good luck with the seduction routine BiteyBiterson maybe the nipple tassles from earlier could come in handy

Am taking advantage of TGB being at the England game to wrap his bidet gifts and, erm, watch the England game. I did have KFC for dinner though as couldn't be fucked was too late for cooking when I got home from work mmmmm corn on the cob

I won't mention your ankle biter post specifically Salty. However I will say that I think being jealous or envious of something/someone is a very complex thing. It definitely doesn't mean that you're jealous of the whole person, or you don't like them, or that you're being mean. Forgive me if this sounds facetious - at the time it mattered a great deal to me - but throughout my later teens I was insane with jealousy about my sister. It seemed all the good things in the gene pot had been given to her and I had the dreggy leftovers. I still have flashes of it now - her with her husband who earns 70 grand, her lovely new 3 bedroom house, her perfect little baby and very lovely friends. But it doesn't mean I love her any less. She and I rely on each a huge amount and we often feel as though we are extensions of each other.

I don't know really what I'm trying to say. Just that jealousy happens to everyone and it doesn't make you a bad person. There are those on here who have a child already - troo. And given that it's what you want more than anything, you're going to be jealous of them. I think there's nothing to be done - you can't prevent those feelings, but you can try and control them. I'm now going to give you a big cake, a vat of Merlot and a big, warm hug.

Oh rierie

you are lovely, and understanding. And did I mention lovely?

Did I mention her big boobs? Now that was particularly unfair. And she isn't ginger! .

I know what you mean Rie as I sometimes feel jealous of my SIL who gave up work to be a SAHM after their 2nd (very cute) child was born. Again, big house, big earner hubby, new wardrobe every season blah blah blah. Tis utterly ridiculous as I've never wanted to be SAHM but still I still luffs her!

Vodka punch and M&S mini chocolate brownies for all

But ginger people are clearly BESHer!

salty (please to read previous disclaimer, and bear in mind we're one bottle down already) don't know where to start- you have EVERY bloody right to be thinking that, EVERY right. To be honest, I do feel a bit of a charlatan here sometimes- one of the reasons I didn't start posting until I had mc, because I did honestly hope it would happen quicker this time. I so wish I had had somewhere like this when I was trying for #1- it was a really long time, and that's why I identified with the BESHs in the first place. I knew every bitter, gut mangling feeling, but didn't have the ..I want to say tools, but that's not the right word, thingy to be able to at least find a little light relief and black (oh so black ) humour in the situation. (oh, and the lesboerotiviolence) Whatever you're thinking about cats, I've been there, got the t-shirt saying 'my mother just said to me ' I worry you'll end up living alone with cats''. Fourth attempt at this sentence; The point of the palais, I have always found, as lurker and fully fingered fledged member is its the one place I've ever seen- even on 'I can say cunt'MN where you can write, 'do you know what, I'm really pissed off about this...' and no one's gonna say anything other than, 'here, share my Lucas' (teary thanks aerie, though I've never felt the same about him since he married Dawn French)
Really not sure I've expressed what I wish to express here, other than, yes it sucks, we know. Here, share my Lucas.

Can I also say that my auntie, who is the most hilariously unselfaware person in t'world, once said to me that when she was trying for her third child and it took a while, it was harder for her than for me (four years and counting at that point) because she 'knew what she was missing' having already had two children. Can I catagorically (sp?) say I now know that not to be true.

(do believe I forgot to write 'I lovsh you BSHeseE I does' at the end of my last post, apologies)

I don't mind, Salty. I desperately wanted children for years before I had miniG but couldn't because I had a wanker of an ex who strung me along on the matter and I wasted years on. I felt terribly jealous of everyone I knew who had them and procured two cats in preparation. It's good in a way that I felt like that for so long because it carried me through all the hard times when I was having to manage on my own with a baby. You are entitled to feel sad and share that here and I'm sorry that I was insensitive.

Ooh, Kevin Davies has just come on for England and he invited me to his leaving do when he left Chesterfield when I worked at the club as cleaner cum office person. Amaze!

Don't be flaunting your nearly famous connexions round me, I'll get over excited, and on two one bottle of wine, I'll come over all unneccessary. Did anyone watch Inbetweeners last night- am about to on s+- is it worth it or will I be revolted?

Also, did you see Mylene Classless's story: (link to Daily Mail Mylene Klass article that I can't be arsed to find, if you want to read it, you will find it, so there's not much point me going to the effort, is there?) Is there some fine print we can find that can prevent her from being a BESH? something about white bikinis, or being incessantly annoying (I have personal concerns about this one, so don't rush to a conclusion) or must we be magnanimous an welcome her in anyway? Advice from the BESHierarchy please?

The last one I saw was frigging hilarious. Def worth it.

There's something about that girl that makes me want to punch her in the face. Not sure why. I agree with a lot of her parenting stuff etc but she is v. annoying. I can't imagine her sharing intimate details on her FFJ eitehr. So that's a "no".

Aries, I think your post up there might be one of the dearest, best, wisest things I've ever seen on MN, and I luffs you even more .

Also: 'Myleene Classless'? GENIUS .

LGG I want to punch her too, and then hate myself for it. She's obviously a perfectly 'nice' sort of person ('nice' being about the worst insult I feel it possible to level at another human being), and at least she has talent, blah blah blah. But she seems such a vacuum somehow. I also strongly suspect her of being the kind of person that says "I'm a real girly girl, me!!!11!11!11", as if that were A Good Thing, and not tantamount to a hate crime chez Banger.

In other news, I POAS again this morning (9DPO?!?!1). Negatory, clearly. Also I have all the usual PMT symptoms in the usual order. Ah well. Another month down the tubes (tubes! TUBES! Geddit?!!?! ROFFLE!!!!).

In other other news, I am in a mobile phone quandry and want to know about the Samsung Galaxy S. Feel free to tell me about yours - am also about to put thread up in _chat ...

Salts come here for a head stroke. Better now?

Hmm, 'nuff said about Ms Classless.

Bangers no idea on the phone, but can't believe you're venturing out of the Le Palais - be careful, it's a whole different world out there...Also, are you out of your mind POAS at 9DPO!?! That means nothing I tell thee, nothing at all!!!! You should know this by now Bend over whilst I spank you

I am hoping to god that I am OV'ing today. I am SICK of SWI. I hate these long cycles. My OPK goes tantalising close to positive but then takes ages to actually do it. I think I've now had two positives, so should technically OV today (CD22). If I don't, I think we need to give up on this month. I can't see Mr O obliging to give up the goods again, last night was a struggle to say the least .

Morning BESHies! I want a little bit to be Mylene, I think she lives a blessed existence in M and S.

Don't feel I can add to the very wise words on here last night about feeling pangs of envy apart from to say I know those feelings too. It's good to know there are so many smart ladies trying to grow the next generation! Gives me hope for the future of the nation

Still have peculiar tight feeling in wombular area to the point where it is interfering with peeing in OPK receptacles. I suspect that it is my subconscious mind keeping everything clenched in attempt to keep maximum swimmage. Also am uncharacteristically cheery, is that a new symptom?

Delurking to pronounce on Myleene. Four criteria in B-E-S-H. She got up the duff with her first at 28, so not a barren at that point. We only have her notoriously unreliable word for it that she struggled this time round. The article says "months" - could be 3 or 4 for all we know!

Quite possibly an evil selfish hag - although she hides it under a lot of irritating tiggerishness.

I think the next fred should be some sort of ancient tribal village, and Aries our resident wisewoman.

Salty I don't think what you wrote was unreasonable at ALL. I think if you didn't feel that it'd probably be weirder. So there.

So in conclusion, she may fulfil the latter 3 criteria, but we don't want her because she is a Stepford Wife. Shall we offer her to the PESHes?

I don't want her because she's annoying. There! (though she is good at the piano).

Don't forget I also foretold the diffment of our Lozza in my dreams. HB can verify. Where is Laurie anyway? Is she ok? LORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

In WOOFLing news, I remain symptomless, just like last time. Sigh.

I don't want her because she is TINY.

I realise you are too Aries but I was already in your thrall by the time I realised that

I'm not thin to annoy people honest! I'm a big lanky thing anyway.

Just realised Lozza is Abroad and beyond reach of civilisation. So I will forgive her silence.

ahaahahaha @ Myleene Classless! Love it Moley.

When - I got so sick of the SWI a few months ago that on the day before I ovulated or something, when the other half was due to catch a flight at some ungodly hour of the morning which would have meant waking up at 3am to SWI, I just couldn't hack it and made him JIAP and leave it next to the bed! Got me a diff though (if only for 8 weeks but that's not the point)...so much less hassle that way. Couldn't pursuade him to do it again though!

Sorry bout the negatory HB