30s TTC: Back to school at BESHory Towers. For spiffing gels who've been TTC since before rationing ended and find conception harder than Double Latin, chiz . What ho!

[Scorpette]

Come along, we haven't got all day. Pop off your blazers and straw boaters for a mo and listen up. As Head Girl, I think you ought to know that my dear chum Darrell Rivers tells me that we're really letting the side down with our lack of baybee-winning. To that end, instead of prep and lacrosse, we'll be TTC. I know some of us are losing hope that we'll ever win the Motherhood Cup for our house, but chins up and think of England! We don't won't to end up like the bitter, childless, dried-up old spinsters running this place, do w... oh, hello Matron! Yes, yes, we're going now...

Super! We've been given the attic dorm - bagsy the bed by the window, what! We won't be disturbed when we're enjoying midnight feasts, unbridled lesbianism, pillow fights and sneaking in fellows from the nearby boy's school for some ghastly dreadfulness.

So let's pop some Joyce Grenfell on the gramophone and crack open the tuck boxes! Mater's made me a huge ginger cake and oooh, I see someone's brought pontefract cakes! Yummo! Humbugs, sherbet, elderflower fizz, eccles cakes, a whole slab of choccy - what a simply smashing haul! Hmmm, this ginger beer smells suspiciously gin-like...

Oh yes

BESH candle lit here for Gaga as well, really hoping scan tomorrow shows everything is fine. Welcome back Arielfromlittlemermaid

I've purchased a shiny new charting app for my phone and am excitedly waiting for the days it tells me I should be indulging in teh secs. Am of course feeding it with information that looks like I know all about my fucking freakishly long cycles but it's making me happy for now.

Cameltoe wanted to let you know that my best friend drove into the back of the car in front at a roundabout as she 'thought they should have moved on so didn't bother checking' so major incompetence. Huzzah for the strike hey? I walked about 4 miles in all today, I think my legs may have fallen off when I wake up tomorrow.

No access in work so just a quick message for gaga saying hope you slept ok and that the scan goes well today. Will be thinking of you.

Fanks everbody, bleeding got a bit more last night - dark red with a few small clots. But has tailed off over night (still there when I wipe). Have refused to breastfeed the boy this morning in case it makes my womble contract - he's very confuddled but is having early bowl of porridge instead. Appt at 2:15 which seems like aeons away. Not sure whether to go to work to distract myself and risk weeping in the toilets or sit at home googling miscarriage moping.

Have already had to tell my boss where I'm going today. But would prob also need to tell my other Director I work with who happens to be one of my bessie mates why am not in as we're really busy at the moment. She's been having fertility ishoos and have been wondering how to tell her I'm pregnant/not wanting to upset her etc.

Oh, I'm a rubbish driver. In my time I wrote one car off by driving it into a tree when trying to light a fag (was young and an idiot). Another car written off when tree fell on it (in my defence this one NOT my fault), reversed into car in car park day I found out was pg with DS - was a bit distracted, see. Had small bump when let foot slip off brakes on a hill in traffic - and was about to accuse te guy of reversing backwards to hit me when I realised that couldn't possibly be right. So t'is easily done!

OK, I give up, you're all talking faster than I'm managing to catch up so I'm just going to start from here. Work's just too busy this week to allow uninterrupted MN time.

So many apologies to everyone I should have celebrated or commiserated with, feel free to demand gropes and/or violence as recompense.

LadyGG am really hoping it's just 'one of those things' bleeding and nothing more serious. I guess it might be easier somehow telling your director-friend now than a happy happy announcement in a few weeks time as I'm guessing she'll understand something of the struggles if she's been having fertility issues. And in the midst of it all it can be weirdly comforting to know it doesn't always go smoothly for everyone else (not that you'd ever wish it not to, but not feeling alone is good even if it's different bumps in the road). Or maybe that's just me and I'm talking nonsense in which case feel free to ignore. Either way hope 215 arrives quickly, keep away from google in the meantime.

Best of luck today Gaga. Really hope all is well.

AIBU?
I rung up SIL and bro last night as they had 12 week scan today and hadn't bothered to let me know how it went. I asked how it went and she joked (!) "Terrible! No not really it was amazing and it was doing..."(cue ten minutes going into massive detail about how active baby was etc).

Am I being unreasonable to cry for half an hour afterwards at the hilarity of the joke combined with going into immense detail about what baby was doing? Surely the correct response as they know what is going on with me is "it went fine, all is well, thanks very much for asking". Or am I just a jealous horrible bitch (I know there is definitely an element of that of course).

Morning lovelies; smells a bit like burning in here. :)

Not unreasonable to have a right good wail BB as apart from anything else it is therapeutic I reckon, but you've got to allow for preg-brain there - plus if it's never gone wrong for them then they've got no concept of why that is not a joke.

LadyG everything is crossed for you; I'd advocate not going to work but then I always advocate that - hell, I think everyone should skive off. And yes, do not google. That way madness lies. I'd stay at home, find a good book to read and put your feet up.

Ps. Excellent use of the word 'womble'.

Truffle Just think of the epic walk as exercise and thus TTC-beneficial (except the legs falling off, that's not beneficial)

Excitingly I have POACBFMS this morning and it says no, no sechs for you today, madam. Am trying to think of sensible way of explaining CBFM to Mr Shoes that won't make him feel pressurised to perform. Might just show it to him and point out that he only has to be awake enough to shag for a few select days instead of me attempting to jump him repeatedly all month and failing.

Snogs for all x

Gaga I'm sure all is well my lovely. Let us know how you get on.

BB no, you're not a bitch. It's a tad insensitive to joke about the scan being 'terrible' in the first place, let alone knowing what you've been through. Maybe she just doesn't know how to handle the situation and got it wrong rather than wanting to be mean? Come and cry with us - I had a very similar moment only yesterday so you'll be in good company .

Following the deluge of PSEH baybees, I hearby order a place for all inhabitants of Le Palais forewith. COME ON YOU BESHies!

Saltcellar: any news?

Morning BESHlets.

LadyG I'm lighting a candle for you now. I really hope this is just "one of those things". Let us know how you get on, will be thinking of you,x. I also felt vay rude for ignoring your question yesterday - no, I don't have TCOYF. Am also liking (well, kind of, you know what I mean) the recommendation of The Infertility Cure. I feel an evening perusing Amazon coming on.

Orchid Thanks for the link to your chart. I'm in the office, so can only do so much - linking FF is not one of them (random firewalls). But I was quite reassured to see your chart doesn't really look any crazier than mine.

Salad Great list of FC questions. I think you should ask them all & share the knowledge . I reckon between the 3 of us we'll be more knowledgable on all things TCC than Queen Zita West herself!

The boyf isn't coming with me tomorrow (I've asked him not to as if I'm going to make a tit of myself I'd rather not do it in front of him). So this evening instead of SWI we're looking through my questions. Woo, its all go in the laurie-house. I was reading NICE guidelines last night & was tres alarmed to see IVF only offered up until age 39 at time of treatment. I've already turned 38 so have to get a move on........

Driving - I've been driving nearly 20 years & never had an accident . Oh, I did bump the kerb at 70 mph & wobble a bit whilst changing a cassette (yep, that's how long ago it was). The boyf & his brother crashed years ago when on an icy day they took a detour on a non-gritted road - coz it went past a girls school . Bet they looked cool as fuck cruising by & gliding into the back of a parked lorry.

PESH, not PSEH - doh

Ooo Owlie you're CBFMing too are you, chuck? I think It's A Good Thing, though was disappointed not to get diffed first month as specifically promised in the accompanying leaflet . I got 3 bars this morning after 5 days of 2 bars, which of course, I am inclined to think, means that super fertile today and shall conceive OMGTWINZ!11!!!1! .

BB you were not being at all bitchy. There is nothing worse than people seeming to rub it in. I'm sure that wasn't her intention, but cripes, a little tact would not go amiss .

Laurie in, my head, you and MrLaurie are going to spend the evening role-playing lots of FC scenarios. And he is wearing a white coat and a stethoscope... I am vay excited for you that you are going, though. Firm developments, as it were.

BESHcandles lit for LadyG and will burn through to the mass FC appts tomorrow...

EPIC COMMA FAIL

EPIC SEEING THE EPIC COMMA FAIL FAIL

I only got one bar, meh. Mind you it is only day 6. 3 bars de. means OMGTWINZ121212! Go Bangers !

*definitely. Oh cock, I have just used up post 966 for no good reason

Good morning all.

Thinking of you today Gaga, and everything crossed for you.

I might have to get the new Tao of BESH fred up now, rather than waiting for post 1001, of that's okay, because I am likely to be distracted by work ,ugh!

Okay?

What do we think of this?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1309967/This-couple-spent-60-000-IVF-family-Devotion-friends-said-unhealthy-obsession.html

New Fred

Sorry RieRie, didn't spot your post - will c and p it into new fred...

Nice one, GuruChoCho. But BESHies, let's fill this one up first.

GaGa, will be thinking of you constantly. Good luck for 2.15. BESHes, PESHes and FESHes across the country (and abroad) will be sending you whole kilowatts of love and luck... just hope it doesn't affect the machines ). Am sure it will be fine - we're here for you.

BB, you weren't being daft. Oh, to be someone who can take baby-making for granted and be so light-hearted about it all

BTW, if it's OMG_TWINZ!1!!1!!!1!11!!! then what do we call triplets? HOLYFUCK-3OFTHEM??!!1!?!!!?1?11!!

PS Lovely Newbies, re: 'womble'. We have many fine terms for one's womb: Womble, Wimbledon Common, Wembley Arena, Ute, Joe Mangel...

Some people spend 60k on a silly car. Noone calls them obsessive and stupid. That would be that persons choice. This is their choice and their priority in life. They can afford it. What the f*ck is the problem?!!! They're obviously a loving couple and good parents.

If they can afford it who the fuck is anyone else to tell them they shouldn't do it?! Them paying means that theoretically there's more funding available for some poorer couple to get a go.

Spend £60,000 or never be a parent and grandparent - is there even any doubt? What importance is money compared to family?!

Thinking of you today LadyG. Is MrG on his way back to you yet? I hope so.

She's probably going to make £60k from the book she's written about it :)

Some people manage to snort similar amounts or buy racehorses. I see no problem with what they are doing.

Thanks Cass. He is due to arrive in about 50 minutes. Poor man had to catch the 8am train. Time is going sooo slowly. Still blood but only when wipe and has gone brown again. Oh well, will know one way or the other soon. Told my Director/friend at work too, by email as am coward.

Anyway, let's try and end this fred on a happier note. Who's for some baklava? Still got some stashed in satchel from the old Palais (one before last). Got some fluff on it but otherwise ok.