30s TTC: Back to school at BESHory Towers. For spiffing gels who've been TTC since before rationing ended and find conception harder than Double Latin, chiz . What ho!

[Scorpette]

Come along, we haven't got all day. Pop off your blazers and straw boaters for a mo and listen up. As Head Girl, I think you ought to know that my dear chum Darrell Rivers tells me that we're really letting the side down with our lack of baybee-winning. To that end, instead of prep and lacrosse, we'll be TTC. I know some of us are losing hope that we'll ever win the Motherhood Cup for our house, but chins up and think of England! We don't won't to end up like the bitter, childless, dried-up old spinsters running this place, do w... oh, hello Matron! Yes, yes, we're going now...

Super! We've been given the attic dorm - bagsy the bed by the window, what! We won't be disturbed when we're enjoying midnight feasts, unbridled lesbianism, pillow fights and sneaking in fellows from the nearby boy's school for some ghastly dreadfulness.

So let's pop some Joyce Grenfell on the gramophone and crack open the tuck boxes! Mater's made me a huge ginger cake and oooh, I see someone's brought pontefract cakes! Yummo! Humbugs, sherbet, elderflower fizz, eccles cakes, a whole slab of choccy - what a simply smashing haul! Hmmm, this ginger beer smells suspiciously gin-like...

Oh yes

My BESHory Towers name is Ursula, doncha know. But you can call me LaLa. I hope I sleep well in my first night back at school. No snoring or I'll cut your plaits off in your sleep!

Oh, and Aries... don't do that.

Gah, just realised the downside to my 'let's all have jolly names, rarara' thang - I love old-fashioned names so much that someone's sure to pick my fave name for a girl and then everyone will laugh about how awful it is and I'll be devastated

Rilly will stop clusterposting now. G'night, John Boy!

Spiffing thread dear Ursula you really are a brick.

Oh dear I've got a rather iBESHa style hangover. Not the best way to start the first day of school. I wish I could sleep it off until midday the way I used to in my yoof.

My BESHory Towers name will be Judith Pants-Trumploroy. Fnah.

Also I found this on another thread and have been saving it. Find out which BESHory Towers character you are here

Well good morning...isn't this just blardy larvely to find all my BESH chums at school...oh the fun we're going have - spesh as it's a boarding school and we're staying overnight

I feel like the dunce who needs to sit in the corner and have pigtails pulled by popular and smart girls (that's you lot BTW) I have no idea what who where why Malory Towers is However I am apparently just like Darrell so think this is good, non?

Failing that you can call me Penelope....but never Penny or I may have to leave chilli jelly in your pants...alright..marvelous.

Hello Penelope, I don't think we've met. Malory Towers is a series of Enid Blyton books.

As I read them when I was very small indeed, I think it's excusable that I thought Penelope was pronounced Penny-Lope (without an "eee" sound on the end), and that Daphne was pronounced something like Dayfen (without the "knee" sound). So I shall be Daphne/Dayfen.

Love the thread opener, Scorp. For the authentic imagery, of course, but also glad that it reflects that this is more of a bitter strugglers thread than a happy-happy-joy-joy one.

You might be right that they can't rescind my referral, as such, but they can sure as hell refuse to treat me on any grounds they like! I think it most likely that lots of places will follow the lead of the PCT that has stopped funding IVF all together - I always said to HO that if would be one of the first things to be cut, and that by the time we needed it wouldn't be available. He said I was being negative, but we shall see, I guess.

Lyra I am worrying about the same thing. Especially as I am such an old hag. I guess all will become clear on the 9th. :(

Lyra-love Glad hollibobs were good! I found new lovely sic-fi on mine: check out The Dervish House for literary/thriller/sci-fi funs. Like reading Orhan Pamuk if he was forcibly smooshed into Neal Stephenson's head.

This IVF thing is beyond worrying. NICE recomendations are supposed to stop PCTs fucking about and denying treatment, aren't they? Ooh, am becoming crazy-enraged.

Lala The new dorms are spiffing. What larks!

Well hello there daph (bit like ralph pronounced rafe aintcha), no think you've been on your holidays whilst I've been on here. Joined in a couple of weeks ago and oh the adventures and jolly japes I've had

Was there actually a Penelope in the books? Golly gosh.

On the AC funding - me and Mr T decided that cuts would be v v likely and quite soon :( so are getting as much as we can as quick as we can before they pull the rug from under us. Still concerns me that we haven't been quick enough tho but I am prepared to fight all the way whilst we continue to pay for treatment for self inflicted problems

we as in the NHS/taxpayers obviously

Can of worms cinco some would say our infertility IS self inflicted, we should have been pushing them out on our 20s when of course none of us would have had any problems getting diffed

Hello there too prefectdrom. Are you here to keep us all in line

I know, it's a minefield. It's just it adds to the unfairness of this bloody issue and .....oh you know what it's Sunday morning and I'm supposed to be all zen so will STFU.

What ho drom those books sounds good. have to read the arabesh series by jon courtney gromwood? they are a bit cyberpunky but based on the premise that future culture would be more islamic influenced than western. pretty good stuff. (i

arabesK (haha araBESH would be better tho)

Buongiorno, Cinco. I am unlikely to be keeping anyone in order - have been lurking about here for far too long.

In my book, all AC should be state-funded. I don't see why only the wealthy should be allowed to reproduce, while the infertile poor should just suck it up and move on with their lives.

lettice (which is a deliberate naming and not a typo) I haz not read, but will have a look. If you can promise me that they're not like Dune, that is. I have been scarred by the David Lynch-Sting-in-blue-pants-giant-phallic-worms.

Well isn't this just spiffing? Truly marvo thread, well done Miss Scorps. I trust it will be a veh lucky thread and all will end up in pig by the end.

IN PIG! Absolute fave pregnancy description. Love Nancy Mitford. Also baby looking like a howling orange in a black wig.

Nothing like, as they are set in near/alternate future, ie: cyberpunk with minarets

"The details of this alternate near futurean Arab world that remained Turkish after a 1914 war that never quite became important, and into which some slick cybertechnology and genetic gadgetry have slotted without changing anything fundamentalare effectively imagined, but never more important than the people."

Shame tho, the Dune books are awesome esp Chapterhouse, however the film was an abomination.

haha, has anyone noticed our imaginary age seems to be getting younger and younger?

Ooh that reminds me. I gave my Mum the Mitford sisters book (can't remember what it was called) last Christmas with the full intention of borrowing it straight back and haz forgotten to do so. Will try and remember later when round for lunch.

Anyone picked up on my memory issues yet?

Seeing gorgeous nephew too...spiffitaccuolusifful

What's everyone else up to this fine* bank holiday Sunday.

*not fine at all, pissing it down here. harumph.

I am going to make some damson jam, some damson gin and some blackberry schnapps. Or I might sit on my arse and post on MN all day :D

Going to see a film later, that one with Micheal Cere in (memory ishoos you say?)

I am off to try and find some super duper mould killer that will hopefully mean I don't have to replace all the sealant round my bath. Oh the glamour. I will then make MrM apply it on account of the fumes.

I may make a cake as well. I have a craving for cake.

Scott Pilgrim I think luvver - was just talking about that..on my list as people have said it's brilliant and they'll be going again.

I demand a tasting session of your preserves young lady, double yum :)