1001 Fallopian Nights: The BESH-Harem Opens for 30s TTCs & their silk pyjamas. Sherbert on tap. Baklava made by doe-eyed boys freely available. Kelims provided for SWI. Hookahs optional but welcome.

[Headbanger]

Scented silken tent opens its flaps* for business. Nubile veiled houris available for deep tissue sandalwood massage for that pre-droidal unease. Starlit pit tended by gleam-eyed sheiks proffering rum-soaked dates on golden platters. Goatskin rugs laid beneath hanging brass lamps for the un-PC BESH to frolic in furs. Intriguingly tarnished lantern housing benevolent Zita-Genie buried beneath piles of embroidered cushions. Don your curl-toed slippers & coin-fringed skirt, and I'll see you in the corner with a young Omar Sharif and ice cubes made from Tanqueray laced with desert honey and no you can't talk to him he's mine...

salty c'mere and have a hug. Just cos you are great

I had slightly damp eyes, yes. And I sort of gibbered a bit.

Yay re BESHTWINZZZZZZZ!!!!!

I have a photo of the small jelly creature, but it is not great. well it is great but may not look much to others...

I do hope you will buy one of those hideously twee just lovely photo frames that says summat like 'the first time I ever saw you'...

Fanks Muse

salty that is as likely as me sprinkling babydust on yer fuckin' chips

I HAVE one of those 'the first time we saw you' frames! But it's a cardboard one that was in the bunch of guff the midwife gave me. The 8 week scan pic is in it to keep it safe. Can you really buy proper ones?

GIN!!!!! That's fab-a-liciousl news. I hear Morocco is amazing

Oh, your scan that's pretty cool too

Seriously, glad you're having a great day. Tis no less than you deserve. Here, have this fish-slap by means of showing the love.

'is in it to keep it safe'.... you loves it Muse, you clearly loves it, and you want a proper one.

Cool that you two are practically Birthing twins!

I'm feeling vay, vay impatient today. Want to go home & shag the boyf dizzy.

I can haz advice pliz?

I'm going to get some ebay piss-sticks, partly because I'm not going to put myself through a week of hope to no avail AGAIN, and partly because as I think Cass vee wisely said, if this is a non-sticking ishoo, it would be good to know fo sho.

Anyways. Can anyone recommend a seller? They need to be properly skinted cheap for the busted broke skint. It would also be helpful, however, if they work (knowing me I'll order 500 perfume test cards ).

lozza I see no reason why you shouldn't do just that

do these look all right?

(Headbanger in 'cluster-post' shock )

sorry ead I know nuffink. I was too scared to order from ebay as I kept getting into trouble with mr gin for my poas habit (for emotional rather than financial reasons...although he got preety wound up at the cost too...)

So I only ever bought, sneakily, from actual shops... at an utterly ridiculous, shudder-worthy cost.

Am so sorry that you are worried you are having lots of early mcs my lovely. I guess stewie is right and knowledge=power etc...

Fanks Ginny. Yes I want superpowers please. I like feeling in control.. .

See when I told the GP that my cycles are all A-OK and no spotting and all that when we don't SWI, and then every time we do there's days and days of strangeness & Godonlyknowswhat, I tentatively said I wondered if it might've been chem. pregs. and he said Oh yes quite possibly. Of course in my silly blonde head that has become "yes definitely" despite any sound evidence. Me = TWATFACE!

But something's up and I'd like to know what it is or what it isn't. Pure fuckwittery on the part of Mother Nature, that's my theory

In other news I just made mayonnaise and it didn't split. WIN!

Excellent news GingerDoubleTrouble! for BESHbee. I am so happy for you. Enjoy your summer and the coming hols! You so deserve a nice, happy summer.

EdieCiaoBaby sorry, do not know. Somehow I am not too bad on the POAS front, mostly because I'd rather hope till the last minute than be disappointed, and the disappointment has not disappointed me yet. Ha! That sentence is a result of a sleepless night. But I understand why you'd want to POAS to check...

CassInARole don't go away for too long! How ya feelin'?

I suppose you'd know what you were dealing with if you found out it was a velcro issue. It would be very, very hard to get a positive only to have it fuck off after a week - no matter how hard you pretend to yourself you know it'll go wrong, you don't really...

I know what you mean about being in control though - that's one of the hardest things about this whole process I think, the total lack of anything you can do about it. except possibly take folic acid and not get battered every night.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Ginbaby! Excellent newses. Aren't you clever?

Also, we have possibly created the end of the world - my due date is currently 2nd March, but I think it might move back a little at scan (if there is a BOC in there, inshallah) as I tend to ovulate earlier than the things allow for. But whatever, we will all be due at a really similar point. AMAZE.

EdMyDuck [sterntalkingto] At similar points in my cycles, I purchased a Persona monitor, a subscription to Fertility Friend, a Yoga for Fertility DVD...You get the picture, non? Piss sticks will not give you much of an answer as there isn't a lot they can do if you are having chemical pregnancies. And there are controversial stats at the moment which suggest that up to 40% of REALLY early pregnancies (at 3 to 4 weeks post-period) end in miscarriage...In other words, don't do this to yourself at this point! [/sterntalkingto]

Lyra Am very sorry about your daddy's struggle to get decent care.

HeadsUp Is "I made mayonnaise" more BESH talk for Soapy Titwank/SWI/hand job? I've bought billions some of those cheapo piss sticks (both Ov ones and pregnancy ones) and they seemed to do the job. If you are using the Ov ones make sure you wait for ages to see any results as they can take about 5 minutes to show anything.

GinstersChicken&MushroomSlice Whoop and a knuckle bump from me for the little dancing jellyfish! Have a lovely relaxing holiday.

Cheers BeefCurtainStew I'll come out of the pit in September time. Should coincide with BESHtory Towers thread anyway.

Head. I've got 3 you can have . I've also got some ov sticks left I think - when I'm home later I'll check.

I used to buy from ebay but I got the last lot from www.medisave.com - 2 early ones for about £3 if I remember rightly. And they worked for me 2 days early this time. Spotted them whilst buying a shedload of medical stuff for college.

Ginster bloody brilliant.

Drom wouldn't it matter why she was having them, if indeed she was? If it was low prog, for example, then they could do something about that....

Cass If it WAS low progesterone then they could POSSIBLY do something about it. I just don't want Head sending herself even more menkul.

No, I know Drom, I feel the same. I don't want our lovely Pencil to feel worse either.

Head I guess it depends on your personality type... it seems like the GP's inadvertently sown a seed and I guess I was just thinking that, seeing as you've spoken a few times now about it worrying you, that this might give you some more info to either rule it out or take it forward. But as Drumroll said, if it's just going to make you feel worse, then definitely just ignore me.

I do know what you mean Drom, and I'm not in the least averse to a talking to in the general run of things, but I'm not sure I warrant one for this! I've done none of the truly obsessive things-i've bought exactly three piss-sticks in eight months. I haven't considered alternative therapies, I haven't radically altered my life-style, I haven't used ov-sticks, I haven't tested early or - or indeed at all! - apart from the first couple of months. All I've done is shag more or less when I've seemed more or less fertile, and taken note of the contents of my gusset. Something seems strange, that's all, and the doctor seemed suprised that I'd been content to think, oh that seems strange, and just bide my time. I'd just like to know. Ignorance isn't bliss, it's fucking annoying! And if it is chemical pregnancies I won't be freaked out by that either- they happen, a lot, and I'm sure it has no bearing on my chances of conception long-term. But I'm fairly certain that most people who have been using no contraception for a year, and actively trying for nine cycles give or take the odd rest, would consider just occasionally checking what's going on instead of having a random guess!

Thanks also Cass and MTF etc. - I'm utterly mortified that I must have seemed very anxious and stressed etc., especially given that there are others with far more legitimate reasons to worry, about this and other things . I have very few virtues but I thought being sane as a breeze-block was one of 'em!

Anyway: I had no idea it appeared that way. I'm fine - but I am curious as to what is happening, and would like to provide myself and the quacks with information rather than guesswork.

I'll hop away for a bit to blush in the corner and not be a drain on resources! Loves Savagery all round.

Quickly dashing in to say hooray for Gin's jelly baby and Ariesnephew being home. When do you get to meet him?

Am as astonished as everyone else at how your dad's being messed around Lyra. I really hope the surgeon shouting at people will have achieved something and it's all getting sorted.

Headtheeversosaneone I know what you mean about the wanting to know, it's my approach to just about everything. But CPs are one thing I very early on decided I didn't want to know about if I ever had any, as I didn't think I'd be able to take it.

If Drom's right and there's not a lot they can do about CPs if they're happening then is it worth the agony of seeing a line only for it to disappear? Presumably if low progesterone's an issue they can work that out from a blood test (is that one of the ones they do as standard?) It just seems to me that the hope that would be invested in a line on a stick would be so much more than the hope we all invest in late droid/strange spotting/menkul symptoms, and droid arrival can be tough enough as it is.

Obviously only you know what you can/want to deal with. All internet piss sticks look the same to me (I've bought ov ones from a couple of places) which I guess means either they're all the same or it's hard to tell which ones are rubbish!

OopsUpsideYourHead don't be a silly. This is exactly the right place for any mentalling my lover. I think you have been very calm and restrained and have definitely not been going overboard about anything. I would want to know what's going on with regards to chemical pregnancies too, just so you know what your contending with.

And we all have stress going on in our lives so your concerns are no less than anything else going on with anyone else. If you never acknowledged what anyone else were going through or didn't offer sympathy and advice to others then that's a different story, but you are always very supportive and offer sensible incisive advice to every one else. Now come here and have a big kiss on the bottom.

HeadPrecious I'm really sorry. I totally didn't mean to accuse you of being fertility-menkul, just normal HeadGothicMenkul. My fear with this is what Oca was saying - that it would be awful to see a line and then start bleeding a few days later. I'm massively projecting.