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1001 Fallopian Nights: The BESH-Harem Opens for 30s TTCs & their silk pyjamas. Sherbert on tap. Baklava made by doe-eyed boys freely available. Kelims provided for SWI. Hookahs optional but welcome.

1002 replies

Headbanger · 30/07/2010 18:56

Scented silken tent opens its flaps* for business. Nubile veiled houris available for deep tissue sandalwood massage for that pre-droidal unease. Starlit pit tended by gleam-eyed sheiks proffering rum-soaked dates on golden platters. Goatskin rugs laid beneath hanging brass lamps for the un-PC BESH to frolic in furs. Intriguingly tarnished lantern housing benevolent Zita-Genie buried beneath piles of embroidered cushions. Don your curl-toed slippers & coin-fringed skirt, and I'll see you in the corner with a young Omar Sharif and ice cubes made from Tanqueray laced with desert honey and no you can't talk to him he's mine...

OP posts:
RunLyraRun · 03/08/2010 09:53

Did you mean lolly, salty?

Well done for being so brave through the HSG, MTF - unlike me .

Happy Anniversary, Aries! Our legal one is tomorrow, but we celebrate our proper one on Friday. Just four years.

I don't want to drone on and on about my dad, so will try to keep it brief. Turns out the consultant he has been referred to is on holiday, so there is no-one directing his care, just a series of junior doctors saying conflicting things.

Yesterday afternoon, one of them said they wouldn't be able to go in through the existing drain exit site and get back to the bile duct. Instead, they would have to wait for everything to close up (at the moment bile is still leaking out of the hole in his side). The site would then swell up (not surprisingly with all that bile behind it), dad would go yellow with jaundice, probably have a massive infection, and then they would attempt to resite the drain. Is it me or does that sound fucking crackers? Whatever happened to prevention being better than cure? Each time he has had a bile leak before he has been in hospital for 3-4 weeks on IV antibiotics, and you will remember that one of those times he got sepsis and nearly died.

At that point, dad contacted his surgeon down south. She called him straight back as always, listened to the story and said she would get on the case, which usually involves her shouting at someone. We're now waiting to hear the outcome of that. Which is all very well, but we're now on day 4. And when you've got less than a year to live, you want to spend as little time as possible in a Victorian workhouse.

That wasn't brief, was it.

StinkyWizzleteats · 03/08/2010 09:57

Welcome GoingDownOnTheFarm. . Does this belong to you?

AriesTwirl glad the mini neff Aries is home.

Right- back in t' pit for me.

saltyair · 03/08/2010 10:04

Lyra oops sorry, getting my fingers in a pickle with the lovely lllllllladies.... i'm sorry for any confusion, do slap me. I'm sorry about the ongoing shitness about your dad flower.

StinkyWizzleteats · 03/08/2010 10:06

Cross posts LyraSilvertongue. I really hope his surgeon can shove some people into action. It's stressful enough having your dad in hospital without having to worry about the level of care he's getting.

saffronbun · 03/08/2010 10:18

Bloody hell, Lyra - I hope your Dad's surgeon down south rings the Medical Director, they're usually the best person to shout at if you can find them.

Are maltesers still the lighter way to enjoy chocolate if you eat 2,000,000 of them?

PollyPoo · 03/08/2010 10:24

LyraLovely so sorry to hear about poor PapaLyra's ongoing fight with the NHS. Makes me so . I really hope his surgeon managing to kick some ass and get his drain sorted today.

On an entirely unrelated note, I saw this in Grazia and I NEED it. Does anyone have a spare 600+ quid? Tis nearly my birfday. Want it, need it

Scropy my luvver, how are you coping? When are you leaving?

Aries so glad to hear little neph is home, will you be allowed to visit now?

And HB I am sorry to hear of all the fuckwittery that surrounded the bastard droid this month. That is just plain cruel.

I'm off to the beach today, so will leave you this... Luv ya longtime bitches.

MountTheFairy · 03/08/2010 11:19

Thanks laydees, menkul is over. I did get paranoid re. HSG, didn't I? It is all Lyra's fault . Not really, luvver, I just didn't happen to feel any pain, which I am sure is just pot luck. And I WASN'T brave. Like I said, I was doing this weird deep breathing which I seriously hope didn't distract the bloke too much! And my palms were proper sweaty. Sad really.

Really sorry about your dad Lyra. Hurray for the nice surgeon, but it is very .

Pette glad you can breathe. How are you dealing with the rest?

Menkul re. fibroid over too. I might as well wait till my triplet appointment, and perhaps it's just a displacement activity keeping me from concentrating on my dissertation!

Casserole · 03/08/2010 12:05

Right ma biatches, who knows when we'll meet again. I know I'm meant to find the lack of internet access liberating, a restorative journey of self, etc, but quite frankly it's just fucking irritating. So there!

Casserole · 03/08/2010 12:06

ps soz for typos

ginhag · 03/08/2010 13:16

Sorry sorry sorry have been mental busy and am just catching up. love the new place ead... am so sorry droid fucked you about by being such a fucking fuck of a fucker (eloquent, me? )

lyra I am so sorry I haven't been around and even more sorry that your Dad and family are going through more awfulness. I really hope his surgeon is able to give an appropriate arse kicking and get things moving so someone actually helps. Am furious on your behalf, and sending you a massive soppy cuddle and many smooches. And a large bottle of gin which you very much deserve.

mounteeeeeee well done and I'm so glad it was lots better than expected.

everyone else am sorry haven't completely caught up but I heart you all muchly and please to forgive if I missed anything or anyone.

Now, does anyone want to hear some good news?

saltyair · 03/08/2010 13:19

Memememememe!!! Oh Ginny....scan????

Tell!

saltyair · 03/08/2010 13:20

Tell uuuussssssss>

Headbanger · 03/08/2010 13:21

TELL ME NOW WE NEED GOOD NEWS WE NEED IT TELL US TELL US GIIIIIIIIIN

OP posts:
saltyair · 03/08/2010 13:22

Gah. HB you hold her down, I'll shine this very bright light into her eyes

ginhag · 03/08/2010 13:22

yep.

All good. Am actually 10+1, I managed to lose a week down the back of the sofa or summat.

Won't go on about it too much but is a fucking relief, I am very happy and a bit in shock.

AND I am going to Morocco with mr gin in a couple of weeks. Mum and Dad looking after mooch.

Feel like a lucky person today.

ginhag · 03/08/2010 13:23

it looks like a wriggly jelly baby

Muser · 03/08/2010 13:23

Giiiiiinnnny what is the news? Is it scan? I thought scan was next week. But is it scan? Oh tell us, I am SO ANNOYED at the moment and need cheering.

saltyair · 03/08/2010 13:24

Woo-hoooooo. I am so, so please for you Ginny-gin-gin, you go on about it as much as you like. ight tempt a few of us out of T'pit.

Morrocco is ace.

Oh, I'm excited. Fizzy cocktails all round, no?

Muser · 03/08/2010 13:25

Oh yaaaay! Tis scan. Fabulous news. And 10+1, you are almost exactly the same as me. Hooray! What's your EDD?

Hooray for little wriggly jellybabies. I knew it would all be ok. I am so so happy!

ginhag · 03/08/2010 13:25

28th feb... you?

Thanks salty. you are lovely.

ginhag · 03/08/2010 13:26

weird that I had managed to convince myself I was 9 weeks. eeeeeeediot.

ginhag · 03/08/2010 13:27

got the OSCAR scan in 2 weeks. Hopefully will be ok as am having it the day before we go on holiday

Muser · 03/08/2010 13:28

27th Feb! Although expecting to get pushed a bit at 12 week scan as was measuring a couple of days smaller at 8 weeks. BESHTWINZ!

saltyair · 03/08/2010 13:28

Convincing yourself you were any weeks was the only way you were going to get out of Denile my dear.

So did you weep?

Headbanger · 03/08/2010 13:28

Oh Gin, I am proppa PROPPA chuffed for you, 'cos I know it was a long old wait and must have seemed like forever. Now you can really enjoy it, and buy an entire wardrobe of fabulous clothes for your winter bump, and be all glowy and bloomy and happy. HURRAH!!!!

And I am Chuckling Out Loud at the lost week

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