1001 Fallopian Nights: The BESH-Harem Opens for 30s TTCs & their silk pyjamas. Sherbert on tap. Baklava made by doe-eyed boys freely available. Kelims provided for SWI. Hookahs optional but welcome.

[Headbanger]

Scented silken tent opens its flaps* for business. Nubile veiled houris available for deep tissue sandalwood massage for that pre-droidal unease. Starlit pit tended by gleam-eyed sheiks proffering rum-soaked dates on golden platters. Goatskin rugs laid beneath hanging brass lamps for the un-PC BESH to frolic in furs. Intriguingly tarnished lantern housing benevolent Zita-Genie buried beneath piles of embroidered cushions. Don your curl-toed slippers & coin-fringed skirt, and I'll see you in the corner with a young Omar Sharif and ice cubes made from Tanqueray laced with desert honey and no you can't talk to him he's mine...

Pffffffff. Some people lives are very small. (Obviously everything I post on MN is of almost historical relevance and import )

One final SWI for the team last night. We didn't do as many as I would've liked owing to the 'having to leave London for the day' fiasco, but this has prolly been the most we've done it knowing definitely that I was fertile.

So: who else is on the 2WOOFL? ISayTomato, I know you are...any others?

Meanwhile, I wrote out a list of girls' names I like last night . Delighted to see our number 1 choice isn't in the top 100 for 2009. Is anyone else flagrantly tempting fate by choosing names just as the 2WOOFL commences or is it just me?!

Aries have your wretched PILs gone yet?

And where is Pette?

Morgen. Mash You broke the lamp. What more action do you want?

CH and I have engaged in name finding game for a long time. That started before we even started trying. I guess it's a mega faith tempt. Never boys names though ?

I like the norf. Have a particular panache for Sunderland (weirdo emoticon).

Anyhoo, need advice from the BESHters. Droid aproacheth. Which is good, as we are over the HSG (or was it HCG?) cycle. I have my dissertation to hand in, which will be the end of MSc and then we are going on holiday the same day with my best friend and our boys.
And here comes the conundrum: do I drink? See I have not been drinking for the past few months. Not that they resulted in diff or naught, but what with the exams, TTC and I didn't have that much time for socializing. And my tolerance is hideously low. But as it'll be holiday and the end of my studies I want to celebrate! If I do drink I am not planning piss ups (too old and sensible and one glass will be enough given my tolerance) but just a glass a night. Even this is likely to give me a headache so Neurofens would get involved... and I am asking all of this because that will be just before ovulation. Should I be really boring and kinda mis that I cannot celebrate with anything but then feel healthy and content in the knowledge that if we spawn it's all good. Or should I just fekking relax after months?

Silly question maybe...

Awaiting today's scan results...

Morning!!

Welcome tart you've done your homework well!

head yep, I'm 2WOOFLing. Badly. I'm on CD 21/22 (still not really sure what to call CD1 after droid arrived full on in the middle of the day). I have a funny-tuggy-achy feeling in the old ovary area. What's that? Of course in my mind I'm convinced its the man-juice burrowing in to give me OMG!!!!!TWINZ!!!1!!!1. In reality its prolly trapped wind.

Other imaginery symptoms - knackered, nauseous, Teh Rage. That's not a lot really, is it? And I realise these symptoms would not kick in at this stage. Although am ITCHING to ask my mum about sickness as that was how she found out she was diffed with sister. So dont know if it started REALLY early, whether she was further along than she admiited to my dad or what.

Or maybe I'm just menkal............

Good luck for PESH scans today. Want details pliz.

aries hope you have the house back to yourselves.

head I'm tres impressed by your shagathon. Twice in 1 day - WOW. Wasn't sure you'd cope but you are top of the podium. Here's your bouquet of flowers & gold medal for services to Team BESH.

MTF you might be asking the wrong person here, but I for one refuse to have my TTCing followed around by the smell of burning martyr, so whilst I have not being getting completely wankered much, and I've laid off the weed when available, and only smoked socially unless my evil boss is being REALLY evil, I've not completely changed my lifestyle (apart from the Folic Acid!). I simply refuse to believe it has any relevance whatsoever unless you are actually alcohol dependent or have an Oxycontin addition. Plus, at least 4 PESHes I know of got their BFPs soon after getting roaring drunk and smoking like chimneys, and are fine, as are their respective beans/baybees.

I would therefore say, of course celebrate: you deserve it. Two or three glasses of vino destructo and some paracetamol for the hangover are not going to mark you forever.

However, as mentioned before, I am quite possibly the wrong person to ask...

So, how long is your cycle usually?

Eeep Laurie, I does try hard not to inflate others' menkul but surely nausea is not PMT?? How long is your cycle normally?

Ahem. Sorry. I will stoppit. But I am going to be crossing my fingers and squeezing my eyes shut and going 'pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease' on your behalf. That's your actual old-skool witchery is that. Troof!

I am never taking off my BESH medal. NEVER.

Oh I had forgotten the PESH scans, like the twanker I am - candles duly lit (and there is a real one you know, orchard scented and everyfink!).

Banger you may be right. I actually did not stop drinking because of TTC but I just did not have time and then when I tried again noticed that tolerance was hideously low. I was just thinking because of impending ovulation, but as you say, everyone I know got preggers after a piss up and I would never be so anal if I wasn't reading all this crazy advice written for... I don't know whom.

This comes from a lady that wasn't a stranger to all sorts of substances. When did I become a puritan?

Very interesting 2WOOFLing there lorryload. Hoping like a hopeful thing for you here.

Scan is in 1 hour. Wonder if it'll be on time? Am quaking in my bare feet.

FairyNuff I second the "g'wan, have a wee drink" advice. Life is too short. And if you're worried about the Nurofen then switch to paracetamol.

Muse, the whole entire waiting room will be full of the Spirits of BESH and PESH. Can I do this: XXXXX? Oh, I just did!

MTF Drink. Definitely. You deserve to celebrate & as head has already said lots of PESHs have become diffed after drinking, smoking & drunken dirty sex shenanigans. So enjoy!

I enjoyed a couple of vodkas on Sat. However it usually makes me sleepy so I came home, smudged mascara around in attempt to take it off & curled up in bed.

My cycle is usually 31/32 days so I've got farking ages for the menkal to grow. I haven't been sick or owt, just feeling bleugh. Of course that could've been the thought of coming into work for another week.

Oh, & I feel bloated. If this is trapped wind its not going to have a happy ending

You got any symptoms?

Oooo, x-posts. muse definitely with you there in spirit. Hope it all goes well. I'm very excited for you..............

I feel very very sick. However, as the broken-lamp-two-shag-peak-fertility-day was Friday, I think was can safely say this is because 2 greengages do not constitute a sufficiently nourishing breakfast for a strapping great lass like me

Thank you for drinking blessings . All thoughts go out to scan rooms.

Full on menkal 2WOOFL here. CD 35, 13 dpo. Already had BFN's at 9dpo and 11dpo which was clearly ludicrous test time frame (so leave kidneys alone, please). Am now awaiting being actually late before squandering and more money weeing on bloody sticks.

I'm world class at inventing symptoms but nipples are very sore (this is classic PMT anyway), feel tired (have toddler that has never slept through night...always tired!), already look 3 months pg (this probably is the high level of comfort eating this month), nasty taste in mouth. I never felt sick until about 6 weeks last time so not inventing that one yet!

Good luck with the scan Muse

MTF I would have a few beers. And a few gin chasers. You'll be fine. Time enough to not drink for months and months on end when you are diffed and breastfeeding. And you will be. Oh yes, you will.

Gaga that all sounds quite promising. What's your usual cycle length? When can we start bullying gently persuading you to POAS again?

Oh, & round of applause on the menkal early testing.

head get thee a proper breakfast. Mmmmm, hash browns, sausage, bacon, mushrooms & tomatoes.

Mmm greengages - I was so happy to see those in Sainsburys, you never normally get them anywhere.

LadyGargle I am advancing on your kidneys RIGHT NOW.

Oooh Lorry that all sounds promising. Not sure if Teh Rage is bona fide symptom but is definitely entertaining :)

Welcome Tart I?m off for my first IUI in September so it will be nice to have a fellow inseminator/injector.

Good luck PESHes today, cosmic good luck beams coming atcha radiating from my cranium ?.Ommmmm?.

Are we allowed to say preggo/preggers in the Palais? It is making me feel a bit sick. Diffed is much more palatable thankyou pliz.

MavisCruet I would say you had earned a couple of ?buckets?glasses of lovely wine. Paracetomol as Bangers says is better than Ibuprofen. Have some and enjoy yourself I say. Oh and Bangers, breaking the lamp after doing it two times is just plain showing off.

I went in the sea yesterday. It was very cold and I was unable to immerse my nips for fear of them spontaneously falling off.

redlorry, yellow lorry mucho variable cycle length and hence menkul making. Between 28 and 40 days in past 6 months. But been charting this month for first time. And it tells me I done laid an egg on cd 22 and SWI'ed two and three days before which should be ok? But dunno what my luteal phase length is. Even if not updiffed this month am liking the charting because a. I now know I am laying eggs b. my luteal phase is not too short c. have better idea when nasty droid might show up.

Will prob POAS Thursday if droid keeps away. Who am I kidding?

I took the toddler blackberrying on Sunday and made apple and blackberry crumble. There loads left so pliz to help selves. And little pieces of walnut in the crumble. There's cream too. And please have some sloe gin to wash it down with.

Fuckitt, Mountie, drink. Drink. Don't go overboard or nothing but a bit of booze won't hurt.

Scan done. Baby all fine. Thanks for all the good wishes BESHies. And I got to experience the joys of dildocam again due to Bob turning his back on us all and refusing to pose nicely for the sonographer.

Yay for little Muse. So dildocam sounds fun! Glad s/he doing good. Can you post a pic?

Yay, so glad to hear that Muse.

muse that's fab news. Surely you'd be amazed / disappointed if trip to hospital no longer resulted in dildocam .

at Bob throwing a sulk & turning his back on you all.

Great news Muse.

WONDERFUL news, Muse!