The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I thought this might be the thread to ask if anybody on here had ever stuffed a medjool date? Any tips?

I am afraid to say I have never stuffed a date. I have wrapped them in bacon and baked them like pigs in blankets and it was a good move.

And while I am here, I also still need to get white, red and silver chocolates/sweets for our platter. Does anybody have any pointers? Willing to spend a little bit on nice ones.

Lindor?

Here's a link to dates wrapped in bacon 6 ways. There's some lovely variations involving feta cheese. Gets good reviews.

https://pinchandswirl.com/bacon-wrapped-dates/

Aha! A proper dehydrator would explain it. With my £30 Aldi special, I would likely end up with marmalade after a few hours.

Hoping to get on the dried fruit this year, I saw a lovely looking wreath of dried citrus slices, and always think a whole dried fruit looks lovely. Got a couple of stray limes in the fridge so will stick one in the bottom oven of the Rayburn in a bit - any ideas on timings?

Also happy advent to you all! So excited to start properly prepping for Christmas.

Well it has officially started in this household!!! The homemade wreath lives to see another year, the tree is settling, and the bubbles are out! Let the full-on poncing commence.

I have fallen off the poncing wagon entirely this year! Sooo disorganised.

Our tree is up and decorated with lots of new, glass, ornaments though. & I did prep pastry, with dd1, earlier on in the week so we can quickly assemble some mince pies over the weekend 😋 And I'm off to (hopefully) finish shopping for the girls and find something for my dad tomorrow. He mentioned earlier that he wants a hot water bottle but then put it back when he went to buy one, so I'll start there!

I might just give up on the majority of the other ponciness so I don't end up stressing & aim for more poncing next year!

Not so much (food) poncing going on here, too busy prepping for Sint Nicolaas on the 5th (which means "setting shoes by the fire place" for mini presents every Saturday annd Wednesday from the 18th to this Saturday, baking traditional cookies, and buying/wrapping presents for us 4 and some other family members for Tuesday 5th). However, I will participate in the origami tessalation Advent (#adventoftess), and just folded my first tesselation.

Will get paper Advent calendars and candles out tomorrow. Was too busy today.

DS is home this weekend, I'd planned a lovely Christmassy weekend with visions of mince pies and mulled wine, with carols from Kings on as we decorated the tree, but I've woken up with a horrendous sore throat and a fever (plus some ungodly substance being coughed up). I'm gutted as it so rare that we're all together 😭

Bad luck @LaChatte! it’s that time of year. Get well soon!

That’s such a shame @LaChatte. Hope you feel better later.

@lucysmam - probably best not to put too much pressure on yourself this year.

@Peridot1 yep, I know. I'm just a bit gutted - the run up to Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year 😢

Thank you, I think I'm just going to dose up on paracetamol and aspirin and still try and make mince pies (the fever hasn't put me off eating apparently 😅).

Wise Poncers - I am after some advice - I made this mincemeat last year and it has sat unopened in the eves ever since. Is it still edible?

New build, so eves cold in winter but hot in summer.

I'm relatively hardy and laid back, my husband not so much and would probably wince at the thought of eating a mince pie with this in.

@PooterLoop
if it’s not fizzy then I would trust it. Did you use veggie suet?

Thanks @Trumpton - I don't think it's fizzy, I will investigate further.

No, suet was from butcher.

I am sure if it’s not fizzy and smells ok you will be fine.
It was originally a way of keeping minced meat for longer after all. All that sugar and alcohol!

Please give me some naice ideas about how to decorate my Christmas cake! It's not even ready for the marzipan yet (of course) but I want to Be Prepared.

@RainbowZebraWarrior Those bacon wrapped dates sound amazing.

Does anyone here have any suggestions where I can get Christmas themed tea towels? Terry towelling ones, not microfiber or thin cotton/linen.

https://www.tkmaxx.com/uk/en/home/home-rooms/kitchen/two-pack-multicoloured-kitchen-towels-40x71cm/p/79887817

TKMaxx @MissMarplesNiece

You could either not bother with the marzipan and icing and decorate with nuts and glace fruit and then glaze it, or maybe do what I did one year - find some small ivy leaves and make a pattern of them on the icing. That looked fab but obvs they had to be removed prior to consumption.

Ugh I woke up at 6 being harassed by the cat and I want to get up and on with my onion confit and thyme jelly before I have to go to work... but it's so cold abd my bed is soooo warm ! Sadly lacking in motivation today

I am loving reading this thread. I can’t participate due to a kitchen renovation.
Next year…

Well the tree is up! Need more tinsel but it's well on the way. Also brought poinsettia today and some festive flower arranging. Brought a wreath ... nicest one real I saw was in Aldi of all places but it still needs a bit of a finishing touch and tweaking but will have time to do that this year. Was going to make my own but didn't have much time