The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

www.dunelm.com/search?q=christmas+tea+towel

And have a look in home hardware if you have a shop nearby

Ok so Christmas ponceing is facing a sudden challenge due to unexpected work jeopardy, however, obstacles bring creativity so i'm being optimistic.

However, I really couldn't get a real tree out of my head. An extravagance considering we already have a fake one BUT I was delighted to find one in Homebase for £20! It looks great as well. Love a bargain. Plus i've sold something so we're carbon neutral. Fully justified

Have finally got round to the Christmas cakes! Was thinking of either Christmas pudding designs or a tiny winter wonderland.

Had anyone found any really magnificent ribbons for wreath bows? Mine needs a showstopper.

@User1789 what about sugared almonds? I've seen them in gold and silver in a few places, think Tesco had some the other day.

Quick question Poncers.

I made the sponge part of my Yule Log this morning. I've rolled it and it will go in the freezer until it's ready. Unfortunately it looks like I was a bit over enthusiastic scoring the first bit (the inside of the roll) and some of it has broken along this edge. I can sort it out and stick it together with the filling can't I? It will have ganache inside and out.

@NutellaEllaElla what a bargain!

Has anyone ever made eucalyptus wreathes? I can't get the normal christmas greenery here (not in UK and its summer!) but I can buy fresh eucalyptus easily enough. I often use it in flower arrangements and it happily lives for 2 weeks plus in a vase but wondering if it will just shrivel and die without water

What is the best way to attach orange slices to a wreath? It's compost label so don't really want to use a glue gun if I can avoid it. But also don't want to have the oranges covered with wire or twine at the front

Ganache covers a multitude of sins, so I'm sure it will be lovely. Rustic is good!

Oh and I'm on the look out for low hanging Mistletoe. The usual cluster in a tree by the side of a local road has disappeared and I'm not breaking my neck climbing higher 😂

I've got Eucalyptus trees in my garden and have used in wreaths a few times. They do dry out, but I think they can still look good when dried. If you want to avoid them looking dishevelled too quickly, I'd not put the wreath up till about the 10th, or you could use a florists foam soaked wreath base. Lastly, I gently pulled out or snipped off some of the dried up Eucalyptus last year and just replaced with more eucalyptus. I've kept my wreath going for 6 weeks before by tweaking it like this.

I've ponced the two ugly pillars outside our house. Quite pleased with my attempt

The door itself is letting it down but that's next years job

That looks lovely!

That looks great

Thank you @RainbowZebraWarrior.

Adult DD wreath. I love it. An explosion of fun.

I hope to start decorating house this week. We get trees tomorrow but will put up next week after it has been in sun room for a week.

Paperwhite narcissist are looking good.

I am making doll clothes for DGD baby doll so must get on with those.

I have a free loaf from M&S so will
make bread sauce today.

@Trumpton, that's so pretty

That's gorgeous Trumpton - it reminds me of 1970's retro Christmas decorations.

Did you find a chocolate salami recipe, @kniteatrepeat2 ? I have a great book, 'Sweet Treats' by Annie Rigg, which contains all manner of poncetastic Christmas recipes (beautifully photographed too), and I had a feeling she had a recipe there. But as I’m away from home, I can’t look….however, I googled and found someone had given the recipe in their blog. So you might like to give that a go? It could be very similar to the Nigella one, though.

I'm off today, was meant to have a piano lesson but I've called off as full of cold. So I'm spending all day poncing. Thankyou @ElectiveAffinities i have ordered the Sweet Treats book.

Currently making the Sharrow Bay sticky toffee puddings for Boxing Day, then will be making red onion confit for my gift boxes and some madeleines, canneles and some sage, apple and onion sausage rolls for the freezer.
need to finish the Christmas tree and plant some hyacinth bulbs I bought a couple of week ago. I've sown some chervil seeds and some sprouting seeds for garnishes. I've got Jerusalem artichokes to make my favourite soup. I'm debating making a test run of a This cheese bread that I was thinking of making at some point

AND I'm listening to my new audible - the complete BBC Jeeves plays with Richard Briers as Bertie and Michael Hordern as Jeeves, the sounds of my youth :)

This years wreath

The bow is a bit floppy mind

That's lovely

My mistake - the Annie Rigg book is called Sweet Things. Highly recommended if you like making edible gifts. Available at very reasonable prices from lots of places.

Well, I haven’tmanaged much poncing, life has got in the way somewhat (some bad - parent hospitalised but OK now, some good - lots of socialising). But my paperwhites have started to flower and Christmas cakes and puddings are all made. Just not much house-poncing. Never mind, there’s still time.

Oh my @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew , that bread does look good.

That looks wonderful @CrushingOnRubies . I am going to forage holly and ivy and rose hips tomorrow and anything else that looks exciting.