The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Damson gins done! I never seem to scale up my jam or chutney making so only managed to make 2.5 jars damson jam and 3 of chutney! Have just cracked open jar 2 of damson jam for scones this afternoon (love the tartness with scones) and gifting the last one so they won't make it to Christmas. Very much more discipled when it comes to the gin when I do the decant week before Christmas!
I've been to the Waitrose Cookery school before Christmas and made some lovely biscotti Italian style biscuits in the past and also a Christmas arrangement elsewhere. I am a bit lazy when being self directed! Have made white chocolate liqueur in the past but that's a week before Christmas task!

@80skid I watched a video today about adding loops of different width ribbons on Christmas trees. They looked amazing and I really want to try it but I'm a short arse and can't be bothered with going up and down step-ladders tweaking and rearranging ribbons especially as we have three trees.

Last week I rendered a dozen or so duck breast skins that I've been keeping in the freezer over the summer to make a pot of duck fat for our Christmas roasties.

This week's job will be to start soaking the fruit for the Christmas cakes. (I make three 4-5" cakes) and any leftover fruit goes into the Christmas puddings. I've got individual pudding bowls and a couple of 1lb bowls. The puddings will have to be made by the middle of next month as I'm giving some of them to family members and we are meeting in mid November.

@TwoBigNoisyBoys Those cakes!! 😍😍😍

@Neekoh thank you 🥰

@SusanandSoams i did jewel colours last year (quality street as you say) which also involved colouring 700 bulbs of a set of white lights to get the perfect multi coloured combination. It looked lovely, so warm and very 80’s

I’m banned from ponceing as I’m so extra that I just peak too early and it all gets very emotional. My only allowances are Christmas gin fizz sets with my homemade bramble gin liqueur, little sweet santa sleighs for work/kids (must buy moam blocks before they sell out everywhere); and this year I’d really like To do a wreath making class. Plus I always make my Christmas cake- I’m making a 100th birthday cake in November so will probably make it then.

I’ll be ponceing vicariously through the medium of this thread

Last year I made various Nigel-inspired liqueurs which are still in the larder so perhaps I shall add raspberry gin as the autumn raspberries are still going strong.
And I have a pudding in storage from last year.
Usually I make my cake very late so perhaps I shall do that this week. Also mincemeat - though actually last year I bought some from Rosebud Preserves as I was so horrified at the Waitrose apple content and it was extremely good. If not poncetastic.

Oh and here’s a few of my ponces from previous years!

Looking forward to the 🎄

Hi everyone!
We are also maybe moving - @NoWordForFluffy when do you find out? I think ours will be before end of October or not at all. I am very invested in the thought of a kitchen big enough to waft round whilst tripping over boxes no doubt
I’ve knitted some bunting and am nearly finished a fair isle stocking for me. I’ve been combing the back issues of Christmas magazines in the library apps for food gifts that don’t need making long in advance

I may be an infrequent poster but I'm in. Bramble gin is infusing for the past 3 weeks. But I'm moving for work in between so will either have a temp accommodation flat or a permanent rental (for 3 years) apartment to decorate before I travel home to DH/DD and then all on to DPs/DMIL for the main thing.

So I am hoping to do some serious poncing if I get settled enough, or at least lots of Christmas markets if not.

I find Cook either the same standard as M&S or better. I like their BCorp status and general ethos e.g. their meat being British and higher welfare. They have some good info on their website about where all their ingredients are sourced.

The stuffing balls from Cook in particular are excellent. I make my own vegetarian ones but theirs are pork and cranberry and I like having both!

May I join? I’m in the market for new Christmas cake decorations this year and would be very grateful for any recommendations. I like ultra traditional, not too huge and ideally not plastic.

Ahh lovely to see this thread again! I’m not a natural when it comes to poncification…but love to see everyone else’s 😊 🎄

Helloooo! I love this thread

I've moved in with my boyfriend who's idea of Christmas is a tree with 3 baubles on it. Since last Christmas

I've been planning decorating the house for ages and I can't wait!

Thing I've been thinking about the most is I've finally got a banister to decorate somehow

Also we have a puppy to contend with

We rent, so need to exchange by 7 Nov (to give notice) to move before December, else it's not happening this year. I'm not moving in December!

We haven't agreed the plan we've been sent by the developer, so I don't know how long it'll take to resolve!

Yes! Christmas has begun

First ponce timer , cannot wait

Ooh I haven't been on one of these threads for a while! I'm very anti-early-Christmassing, but I make an exception for Poncietasticness We are actually hosting this year, for only the secomd time ever .

I love Christmas and dh very much doesn't, but he does love cooking and is very good and unflappable at it! He's planning on making a many-coursed tasting menu for Christmas Eve, plus the traditional stuff for the big day itself. I will be in charge of Christmas pudding, mince pies and all decor but I might get some input on the menu!

Literally just joined mumsnet so I could join this thread!!! So thrilled, my poncing knows no bounds. I love all the things. My poncing started about a month ago:
I looked at all the Christmas menus for the local hotels and pubs to see what I could incorporate into my own food planning, gins done, starting to stash Christmas snacks, trawled all this years Christmas themes for inspiration, made a few test vegetarian mains this weekend, started homemade presents, started putting all the kids stocking fillers into piles, ordered Christmas flowers for mil. Can’t wait to get all the stuff out of the loft!

Oh fab! Glad this is back!
I'm going to crochet classes so hoping to create something Christmassy, plus going to be making a new advent calendar for a new family member.
Excited to see some poncetastic ideas from all! 🎄

Joining in as my typical thinking is that it’s too early to do any pouncing until late November when in reality it’s too late.

Oooo ooo! Me! I did no poncing at all last year as I had horrendous morning sickness, and we were supposed to move on Dec 16th (ended up delayed for a month) so everything was packed.

Currently accumulating jars ready for steeping fruit in various liqueurs and spirits so I can serve them paired during my traditional NYE cheese and wine night (also sadly missed last year!).

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm so excited to see this thread back! I'm doing quite an intense course with work until mid-November so my poncery will be somewhat curtailed but I'm trying to reassess this year what I will do anyway.

I feel like over the last few years I've got into some habits such as infusing gins and whatnot, which for a couple of years people were very excited to receive but the novelty seems to have worn off and I still have some left from last year!

I've seen a couple of things about making vanilla essence (which seems to be steeping vanilla pods in vodka, so familiar territory) and I might do some little bottles of that for baking friends.

@AccidentallyFabulous I would be thrilled to receive homemade vanilla essence, you’re on to a winner there!

I’m thinking homemade granola as I’ve never done it before. Recipes very welcome!

Fingers crossed for you @NoWordForFluffy ! We are waiting to see if the probate sale in our chain can get paperwork together before mortgage offers start expiring 😬

@BeastOfBODMAS this is the recipe I use for Festive Granola

www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/food/recipes/a536142/spiced-granola/