The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@NutellaEllaElla bland and flavourless is what I thought when I first attempted Jamie's get ahead gravy about 12 yrs ago
. And it's messy (I hate chicken wings) It's never darkened my kitchen again.

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat just catching up on the thread, can I recommend for vegan baking: https://domesticgothess.com/blog/category/christmas-recipes/

I make her Christmas cake every year, it’s excellent, and tried a fair few recipes without and let downs

Yes I'm sure it will. Happily though, the flavour improved remarkably just for simmering/ sitting longer which is a relief and makes sense because I was so confused, it had all the good things, right ingredients except white wine, I didn't know why it wasn't working.

Thank you @BeastOfBODMAS I will check it out.

Two wreaths sort of done...I think they need a bow at the top to finish them off. Didn't turn out quite as good as I pictured in my head but I'll get a small proper gift to accompany them anyway.

They look absolutely beautiful. I'm loving the little trees, stags and stars.

I'm really torn this year. I always make my own, but it's bloody windy up here on the NE coast of England. There are always nights where I have to bring the wreath in as it gets battered against the door.

Thank you @RainbowZebraWarrior , I'm looking at them with a very critical eye but gave up and went to bed last night!

I think wreaths can look lovely indoors as well, so definitely still make one this year (and show us the pictures 😁)

My cake's in the oven and my pudding is steaming so I thought I ought to pop in. Strangely pleased that others dislike the narcissus smell, I was so disappointed.

I need a new wreath this year (ours got stolen last year) and can’t decide whether to buy one or try to make one but I’m not at all artistic.

I’ve moved from a house in an area where a wreath 100% would get stolen to one in a wind tunnel
I saw in a magazine, mini wreaths tied with ribbons to the backs of dining chairs as decor, might have a go at that. I’m in favour of anything that leaves more room on the table for my own body weight in roast potatoes

What you need is an 10" Oasis ring (you can get them with either plastic or recyclable backs), lots of greenery (esp fir eg Leylandii type as the base, but also holly, variegated evergreens etc), and a few bits of trim - baubles, fake berries, gold ribbon, whatever appeals.

Soak the Oasis in water until it is sodden. Hoik out and let drip for a bit. You might want to attach your hanging ribbon now, so you can disguise it with greenery, or you can make a feature of it later.

You then work round the ring poking in lots of the fir (or whatever is nice and bushy and you have lots of) at an angle - be consistent all the way round. Do the outside, then the middle, then the front. Once you have pretty much covered the Oasis in your main type of greenery, go round again with whatever else you have, again working at an angle. Once it all looks bushy and balanced, add whatever else you want. I have some baubles on florists wire, and some stars, and a little robin, and various ribbons - I mix and match from year to year. You can shove in things like pheasant feathers, or the seed heads from poppies.

The water in the Oasis helps it to last a couple of weeks - ours goes up a few days before Christmas and makes it into New Year.

There are plenty of guides online but I just got stuck in with advice from a friend which is what I've given here, and was amazed at how well my first one turned out.

Brought baubles from matalan (£10 for 30ish but COL and all that) today! New house and zero decorations see previous posts so the wall paper in the lounge is dark blue with gold accents so the tree will be dark blue and gold. Or it will be for a few years whilst a more personal collections of items is built up. I have a few bits already but not many. They baubles are rather big but will do for the bottom tiers of the tree I think.

I’m looking for big baubles so will have a look at Matalan @CrushingOnRubies. I find cheaper baubles like those you got great for bulking out my decorations. Then as you say gradually add in more personal ones.

I had a lovely weekend of Christmas poncing and now have braised red cabbage, pigs in blankets, stuffing balls and sausage and stuffing rolls in the freezer. Now I've just got to ignore them til Christmas and not eat them beforehand! 🤣

The Range have some lovely baubles.

Does cabbage freeze well? I assumed it would be like wet lettuce

Braised cabbage freezes very well, if that’s what you mean. I cook it ahead of time every year as it’s one less thing to think about.

That's good to know

Thanks @sueelleker will look in there too. Love a trip to the range you never know what you will get

Yes it freezes really well! I just follow a recipe for braised red cabbage, portion it up into tupperware containers and you can microwave it from frozen really easily so it's simple to just heat up on the day. I tend to do a big batch and portion it so I have an easy vegetable side dish for other meals like toad in the hole as well as Christmas dinner.

I try and avoid trips to The Range as I always seem to come out with a trolley load of stuff I didn't know I needed.

My town doesn't have a Range which is probably a good thing for my bank balance. I do, however have a decent sized Dunelm order waiting to be checked out and I'm off to Hobbycraft and Primark home at the weekend 😬

Cranberry syrup made. I might have to taste test it at the weekend.

I got the Jeannette Winterson Christmas Days audiobook today. Really looking forward to listening to it while I do my mincemeat and Christmas Simnel Cake tomorrow :)

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew I just picked that up in the Charity shop today! I've added it to my small basket of December reads.

We're making our mincemeat a bit late this year - hopefully next weekend.

@DecemberSkies Your wreaths are lovely!