The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Also, may I draw the company's attention to this Ikea scandi metal wreath, only £5! I have just ordered one for my porch, but forsee using it in many places through the years.

@HardLanding this is my tried and tested shortbread recipe, I add dried cranberries to make them extra Christmassy

For any baking, use block margarine as the tub stuff has too high a water content. Naturli is the gold standard but I don’t mind a bit of stork baking block as it makes everything taste like my Nan’s used to!

I use Domestic Gothess Christmas cake recipe and plan to try the vegan gingerbread as well this year. There’s all sorts of ideas on there.

Love Raw make awesome dairy free kinder bueno style bars, they’re stocked in H&B and Budgens

Thank you @PorkPieAndAPickledOnion I'll see where my nearest Hobbycraft is, I think it's Sheffield.

I think the £5 Ikea metal wreath I mentioned upthread would lend itself very nicely to further pouncing...the basis for an advent crown or a table centre, for example.

Ooooooo! I’m in! Mostly looking on in envy but you never know when inspiration will strike.

I withdrew my post earlier for privacy reasons in case anyone wondered, but here is a photo of my pinned out crochet snowflakes. The large ones didn’t work very well (about 5”) because their sticky-out arms were not strong enough to stay rigid even with glue but the smaller ones were great).

I do rather like the Ikea wreath, and I think Ikea is reasonably near Hobbycraft in Sheffield so will google both for October half term.

We've been practising hot chocolate bombs today, and I plan to attempt sugar mice again tomorrow when I can concentrate properly on the measurements going in my bowl (dd1 was in charge of measurements last time)!

Oh god I LOVE this thread ❤️❤️I’ll be getting Nigel’s Christmas Chronicles off the shelf soon and planning this years cake design. I’ve bought Corrine Lapierre’s Christmas felt book, and I’m buying vodka next week for the flavoured vodkas and limoncello ❤️ ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIIIIIME OF THE YEAR!!

@BeastOfBODMAS, I scored 7 of Sainsbury's own brand baking blocks from their clearance fridge the other week at 45p each. I was very pleased!

I have butter in my Nectar Prices, so will bulk buy that when I'm paid. I use the block in stuff the kids eat and butter in our food.

Checking in for the read-a-long, although I have read a bit of the CC early... the Christmas cake recipe!

DS(9) and I made the cake this afternoon; we had great fun and laughed a lot along the way. I am really proud of our joint effort! It smells amazing.

@Zireael I will be starting a separate thread for the CC read along on Oct 15th x

I was on the CC thread last year (although not this one) and it was so lovely.

The cake looks fabulous @Zireael

That cake looks great @Zireael …Makes me want to make one to eat now and one for December…

Has anyone ever tried Viennese Whirl mince pies? I’m tempted to give them a go - I’ll be stalking Sainsbos thanks to Fluffy’s tip!

Oh hurray!!!
I love the advent idea for ‘activities’. I might try that one this year….
I’ll be making a gingerbread house as always.
We are hosting Christmas dinner this year so excited for all these ideas!

@BeastOfBODMAS I really appreciate that, thanks. I’m terrible with baking, I don’t know if it’s because I’m dyspraxic, if it’s the ADHD or if there’s some sort of talent for it that I just don’t have, but I invested in some kitchen gadgets over the summer and if they don’t help, you’ll find me hiding in the pantry

I vaguely remember before with the advent calendar -

• buying the 10 for £10 books from The Works, half were Christmas themed ones for the advent calendar, so that was 5 nights covered
• crafts from The Works
• booked 4 activities

I’ll have to dig through my iCloud for photos from that month/year to find out everything I did, but I live in another area now. Plus, it’s not 6/4 year olds, its 14/11/6, although I’m sure the elder two would love anything I throw together, even if some of it is more 6YO based.

We've a huge archway between the living/dining room and an old fireplace (I’ll take a photo tomorrow, it’s currently half set up for Autumn!) that DDs are desperate for me to decorate too, along with most of the windows as we have window ledges now!

@HardLanding for your advent calendar, how about Christmas pizzas, you could decorate with colourful chopped veg to make a snowman face or tree or bauble. It’s an activity and easy dinner in one.
(Napolina pre made bases are dairy free and all the big supermarkets do df grated cheeze now. Jar of sauce, no hiding in the pantry!)

Fucking great ideas. Haven’t been on for a couple of days. It’s been shitty. Dp had covid and was in hospital start of last week, ddog ill in the middle of the week, I got covid in the middle of the week, dd had a cold over weekend, and has been in hospital since yesterday night at 7 with a burst appendix!

Love the paper whites ideas

Considering whether to buy some snaps to make some more handmade crackers. Using old maps looks pretty.

Following 🙂

Anyone fancy trying this Christmas cake icing recipe? 😂
I found an old newspaper cutting in the pages of a very vintage cookbook...

Sneaky place mark as I'm on holiday and can't ponce at all - 34 degrees at the beach today so not complaining. Have warned DH strap in for the flight back, it will be a full session of Christmas planning and there is no possible escape for him!

In case any of you are interested but unaware, M&S Christmas Food to Order slots have just opened. It's not Booths admittedly and buying a turkey in my bikini has been novel even for me but good to have it off the list.

Everything is looking so good, cakes are fab! Sorry @Deckthewallswithpaintandplaydough you're having a shit time. Hope you are all on the mend and you get a bit of recovery time. Book yourself in for some 'Christmas Shopping' aka, a peaceful day out alone with lunch somewhere you love as soon as you can.

@HyggeLykke I was going to say it's not that dissimilar to the one I currently use, but does that say blue Laundry Powder?!!

Indeed @AMessageToYouRuby . I'm guessing it was to 'whiten' the colour but I couldn't believe someone would actually do this. I can't date the cut out or the author, but it looks like quite an old newspaper - 60's /70's at a guess but no idea 😀

No, they peel off. Thinking about it (it was a good few years ago now) I didn't dab the glue mix on after pinning them but put them in the dish of glue mix first, squidge them till they are soaked, squeeze off the excess then pin them out, sorry for the incorrect info before.

I will see if I have got the snowflake pattern saved

Why the actual fucking fuck might you put LAUNDRY POWDER in ICING???????????!!!!??!??!??

Snowflake pattern

attic24.typepad.com/weblog/crochet-snowflake.html