The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I don’t think it’s actual laundry powder. It seems to be powdered ‘laundry blue’ which is made from baking soda and a colouring. One would hope the colouring is food safe but I suppose you never know!

Still……. Do poncetastic threads have names like the other ones? Poncetastic 2022 the 2nd: the one with the blue laundry powder

Signing in for this year's poncing. I really really want the felt 12 days of Christmas set but it's too expensive and I know I'll never make them all!
I'm looking for ideas on what to make in my ceramics class for Christmas this year, I was thinking maybe some delicate paper porcelain ornaments for the tree.
Last year I ordered some beautiful embroidered letters from Etsy in the hope of making stockings for everyone. Turns out stockings are a faff, I only made one in the end. This year I think I'm going to make simple personalised pouches or pockets (seeing as I still have the letters).

Thanks @EspeciallyDivided, I'll give that a try. I have a bunch of old snowflake patterns somewhere (and, I think, bells); I'll dig them out and get poncing.

I'm a wannabe poncer! I'm learning as I go, but have mastered the cake and mincemeat over the last few years. Now moving onto the paperwhites and a bit of beginner crafting this year! Have ordered some easy cross stitch kits to do with DD. Also planning to get some chutneys done over next few weeks. Just ordered the Christmas Chronicles, really looking forward to reading along!

Hallooooo poncers! Can someone tell me what The Chronicles are, please? I know it's a book but what sort is it? Is it just recipes? Many thanks for this rookie question!

It's Nigel Slater's 'The Christmas Chronicles' and it's just lovely. It has lots of recipes but it's kind of part memoir/thoughts on the season
From the book blurb

The Christmas Chronicles is the story of Nigel Slater’s love for winter, the scent of fir and spruce, ghost stories read with a glass of sloe gin, and beeswax candles with shadows dancing on the ceiling. With recipes, decorations, fables and quick fireside suppers, Nigel guides you through the essential preparations for Christmas and the New Year, with everything you need to enjoy the winter months.

It’s a wonderful book, part memoir, part recipe book, part treatise on the gloriousness of the time of year, and his own tradition. If you want to get a taste, there’s a podcast version where Nigel reads sections from the book. I love one where he goes through the various species of Christmas trees and their respective positive and negative aspects.

Thank you both for explaining! I shall look into it further. Many thanks!

@Dillidilly does a read along thread from about the middle of October (the book starts on the first of November) and it's great, I fell by the wayside last year but I'm really looking forward to it this year. It's tres poncey

Thank you, I will look out for it 😊

Hello, may I join you? 😊
I’m competent with food and garden-related poncing but my craft skills are definitely at beginner level! I’m hoping to learn to crochet and maybe make a wreath this year.

With a name like that you'll fit right in 😀

Thank you @VivaJen 😊

Rookie poncer here 👋 place marking for upcoming ponce

Wannabe poncer here. Love reading your threads every year you're all so dedicated! Have started a crochet gonk for a friend and need to plan my advent window but that's it so far.

Those of you who are making gins and vodka and gifting, where do you get your bottles? I’ve been looking online and the cheapest way I can see of doing it is buying mini wine on 4for3 at Tesco and “disposing” of it to reuse the bottles.
Is that as good a method as any?

(Also can’t believe I’ve been recycling used bottles all my life when there’s this thriving market on eBay!)

@BeastOfBODMAS I've used ones like these in the past. Super easy to sterilise

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B005TRBHUQ?psc=1&ref=ppxpoppmobbbasin_title

Thank you! I only need a few, must be getting old and sensible as lack of empties has ever been an issue before

@BeastOfBODMAS those ones below are great for smaller amounts to gift. I sometimes use the 200ml ones that the apple cider and red wine vinegar comes in for the chutneys or if you can get the hold of them, Deep River Rock do a 330ml bottled water which is a lovely shape and you can buy spare screw caps on ebay which fit them, they are also beautiful when all the water and gin/vodka is finished, for putting a bottle light into and making a hanging lantern - I use thick twine wrapped around the neck as a handle.

Might not be the vibe you are looking for but I buy plastic medicine bottles from my local chemist as I give tots of homemade flavoured alcohol away when we go dancing on Boxing Day ! They are about 10p each

Bottles and jars are also available in many Wilko stores, places like the Range and in my area we still have a few old hardware/kitchen stores which sell all the necessary items for preserving.

@HardLanding I love the activity calendar idea, and how much your kids want to do it :) as much as possible you could make the activities tie in to what you be would be doing anyway, aswell as activities where the big ones help the little one? Some ideas:

• pinecone hunt, spray glue and dip in glitter to make decorations for your windows and arch? You could wire them onto some real or fake greenery
• festive film night every Friday
• christmas Fort building (give everyone a job title, and let them crack on!) Just sofa cushions, sheets, battery powered led fairy lights, and then once the Fort is ready you get in and plan your present ideas together)
• mince pie making - I buy the jarred stuff and then add grated apple, cherries, fruit zest etc. Ready rolled pastry for ease
• festive food treat shop - just your normal supermarket shop but big it up as if its an amazing adventure. You could all plan the shopping list in your festive Fort :)
• hot chocolate bar every Saturday?
• make your own santa pancakes for a Sunday morning - pre bought pancakes, strawberries and spray cream
• wreath making. We do a really super simple one with my son which is a cardboard circle with dried leaves and mini pinecones stuck to it.

Hope that helps. Your house sounds magical :)

@HardLanding
Totally forgot - paper chain making, you can just buy the little pack from poundland & also christmas karaoke night , no prep involved, just a hairbrush mic and the music channels :)