The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

The canapés sound really nice and seem easier than others and nothing too out there as are the cocktails. Should say the book is 3/4 cocktails.

DH and I have had 9 days away in the sun and now I am +ve with Covid and in bed with no energy. Back to poncing soon!

Ah no @Trumpton I hope you're feeling much better soon!

I'm frustrated with my Christmas village again this weekend - all my other pieces are the right size but every time I try the church (even last year, in the run up to Christmas) it is too big for the blocking guide.

I think I have a 1.5 and 1.25 hook in my bag so going to attempt it with one of those over the next day or two and see how I get on...I may try a different pattern that I saw on Etsy for just over £1 if it doesn't go any better.

Yay, I love the Christmas poncing threads!

I usually just live vicariously but I might try to do some proper poncing this year. I do make my own wreath most years though.

Going to lurk for inspiration 😃

Whoops - didn't realise the thread had officially started and accidentally posted this on the pre-poncing thread -

Good morning everyone. Does anyone have any nice recipes or suggestions for doing something with four lovely quinces? There's the pickled quince in Christmas Chronicles but not feeling that inspired by it.
Thank you!

Place marking this! Can't wait to see what everyone is up to

Has anyone any experience with making fresh Christmas garlands? I have ordered from florist before but it was very pricey and not quite right.

Online there seems to be lots of advice for how to make your own - I’ve found YouTube videos of people using wire and offcuts, and also some kind of widget that attaches to a work table and you spin it.

Does anyone do it themselves? I would want to make a LOT - think staircases, doorways etc not just overmantel. Is it feasible for someone reasonably handy/crafty?

And if you do, where do you source your material? Christmas tree farms, garden centre etc?

Super easy to make. We go to a local garden that has a make a wreath for not very much day, but tbh 5 mins on youtube, some willow sticks & berries & holly and greenery from the garden and you're set.

Loving this thread. I’ve made a start on some crochet toys for my daughter- have also brought a fat quarter in a sea pattern and plan to add some htv vinyl coral to it as a mini play scene.
Making 3 x billie wearable blankets as gifts too and maybe crocheting a blanket for my gran- thoughts on what the quickest blanket with random colours (using up my stash!) would be, not a granny square!
Always make Christmas cake using Nigellas recipe so will start that soon.
Need more time to fit in all my ideas!

@RhubarbCrumbled I am a bit green at your kit. I've made a few of the single kits before and loved them.
@MinglingFlamingo I just looked that book up on Amazon and it looks good. Would you recommend it?
I want to buy a really good quality, white tablecloth to replace the straggly, non poncy home bargains one I currently have. Any suggestions? They all look the same online so a recommendation would be very helpful.

I think I would recommend it. I haven't tried anything in it but I do like the suggestions for the party food. Not too faffy but still has a bit of flair. And it's just nice to have a few more ideas up my sleeve somehow.

The only main issue I have with it is that with cooking there's not always a picture next to it. And I like to have some idea what I'm cooking is suppose to resemble

It's pretty easy - you can bend an old metal hanger into a circle and start with that or otherwise try eBay for some wreath making starter kits.
I scour the local hedgerows and woods to get all the foliage I need. Conifers work well as a base (a friend used yew last year and it withered quickly and was full of insects) and then add in holly, ivy, pine cones, etc. I also wrap little LED lights around it all, again cheaply available on eBay.
You can get florist's wire to help secure it all in place or use dark cotton, which is relatively effective. The door wreath needs a perk up once a week or so, especially if it gets windy, but they're pretty hardy overall.

Yay! Chutney made with the children

If you can get willow it's dead easy. Just make a loop, then another that starts about an inch away from where the first started and twines around it. Keep doing that, moving the starting point and twining round. Dont do them too tightly & neatly as you need the gaps to poke greenery into. You shouldn't need anything to hold it together if you do the intertwining right, but if you need to use a bit of gardening wire to hold it together.

At the end of the season, remove all the greenery, store the willow wreath base somewhere out of the way, and then take it out to use next year. You should be able to get a good few uses out of it before it dried up a bit much and gets brittle.

Made apple butter today , long recipe in slow cooker to use my glut of apples . House smelled divine ? Cinnamon and cloves but the result was underwhelming

www.mybakingaddiction.com/crock-pot-slow-cooker-apple-butter-recipe/

love the poncing going on already!! A heads up - Nigel Slaters Christmas Chronicles is available on kindle Unlimited if you have a subscription. (Or do the trial!)

The Christmas hotel chocolate and the Wentworth jigsaw puzzle catalogue arrived today. Made me very happy

Considering the hotel chocolate all singing all dancing advent calendar this year. Has anyone had it before? Was it as nice as it sounds??

I love Wentworth puzzles.

It's a more recent tradition in the Flamingo house is a Wentworth puzzle at Christmas

Oooooh My Sarah Raven Paperwhites are on their way !
Here are last years efforts.

I think this is the recipe we used but can't be certain since we didn't put vanilla in ours. Anyway, we used the recommended quantities of spice but not nearly as much apple as specified. The result was very highly spiced byt tasty.

Hope you are on the mend @Trumpton

I've finished knitting the Fererro covers for my friend and I've just got to add the baubles on the last couple but that's a job for the daylight

@TheWoollybacksWife
oh they are fab!
much better thank you. Testing -ve and went for a walk by the sea today. Still can’t walk and talk but working on it!

Beautiful Ferrero rocher covers! Bravo!

Every year I admire your paperwhites @Trumpton ! One year I'll do some.

So far I'm on track with homemade mincemeat, chilli jelly, crabapple jelly & rosemary jelly. Slow gin & crabapple vodka stewing.

I also discovered a delicious recipe for mincemeat slices, a bit like flapjacks. Perfect for christmassy treats leading up to Christmas.

Need to get my cake going soon.

Thinking about a wreath making workshop....