The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Oh my goodness @katienana that is a work of art! I have always dreamt of having Stockings like that. What size is it?

@katienana that is lovely!

Wow some amazing poncing going on.

That stocking is stunning @Bareknees. As is yours @katienana.

And I love the sound of the Christmas village. I found our Christmas Lego sets so could attempt something similar from Lego if I had somewhere to put it.

I haven’t even made my Christmas cake yet. Will attempt to soak the fruit today at least.

I did hunt out my Christmas cook books yesterday and need to catch up on the Christmas Chronicles read along and thread and do some planning.

Wow such beautiful poncing!! You all are making such lovely things. 😍

I’m going to find my packet of air drying clay and hopefully make some little hearts to string up on the staircase. Also looking forward to making a wreath this year.

Key lime pie made this morning and in freezer.
I am off to London in the morning for 6 days. I haven’t done a Christmas trip since 1918 due to bastard chemo and cancer then covid. I am so excited to see my family.
Oooh and I have started my Paperwhites I will check on them when I get back.

I saw someone make a Christmas Tree from a book on TikTok and thought I'd give it a go! Took a lot longer than I thought it would though 🤣

That’s lovely @ToDoListAddict.

What, wait! You can freeze key lime pie?!
Hope you have a lovely visit with your family @Trumpton
<furtively adds limes and biscuits to grocery order>

@katienana your stocking is beautiful! A real work of art!

@ToDoListAddict that's a great tree, it looks really effective. Someone I follow on Facebook has made a post about making pinecones from book paper. I'm feeling a bit inspired now - I might add those to my to do list!

I have managed to a bit of poncing myself and made my Christmas puddings last night. I make one for us, one for a friend and one for my niece. They just need a bit of pre steaming in the multi cooker now.

@BeastOfBODMAS
THIS IS THE RECIPE I USE
But I use butter and don’t add crème fraiche.
it freezes really well

I've been lurking on here as I don't qualify as a poncer but I want to be!

I feel moved to post about @Trumpton's melted mars bar sauce which is just the thing for the sweet toothed bunch of adult DC and partners. None of them like fruit cake or Christmas pud. I will also be making the key lime pie.

Have a good trip Trumpton (Skap here).

Oh <<waves at Scap>> . Hope you are doing well.

@Trumpton THIS IS the recipe I had planned to use so hopefully it will behave in a similar manner!
I did the banoffee pie last year and it went down really well

@BeastOfBODMAS . That’s looks fine but I wouldn’t do the aquafaba meringue until the last minute I found it a bit unstable ( play on words )

Will probably do whipped plant based elmlea at the last minute as it passed muster with the normally-dieted last year can’t imagine my Dad would stand for beanwater - “not under my roof” etc

Can you share your chilli jam recipe @Trumpton I am making a hamper for my parents this year.

Sorry if already answered @lucysmam I've not finished the thread yet. Ive used spray starchch before but it wasn't amazing

@TheHauntedPencilCase I think I asked about spray starch last year & got the same answer. I'll probably use the pva again; I may have the best part of 5L lurking under my bed 🙈

I've just bought the dish in the pic, for my shelf, and plan to pick up a couple of small wreaths tomorrow in town. You might not be able to see it well though, because of the lip 🤷‍♀️ I've also found a vintage cocktail book (I think it's Vogue but not 100% sure without getting up to look) and bought a tiny easel in Primark for it to stand on.

I just want some timer/programmable fairy lights I think now 🤔

Chilli jam.www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/sweet-chilli-jam

But I scraped out half the seeds.
Missed out the garlic.
Used fresh cherry tomatoes.
Ordinary malt vinegar.
And….. it was very hot so diluted with jar of apricot jam.
So a bit of a muddle but very nice.
As you can see I can’t be trusted to follow a recipe exactly!

Um, I realised in the shower that I forgot my picture 🤣

Tomorrow we are looking out the Christmas jumpers and perhaps starting to wrap some presents. My DH makes the most incredible mince pies so I’ve asked him to make a test batch!

@ToDoListAddict that is some excellent crafting!

@ToDoListAddict I love those trees but have never had the patience to make one! Well done, it’s really lovely.

@lucysmam The sweet dish is very pretty. Your ponced up drinks shelf is coming together nicely, can’t wait to see the finished product!

My tray has been sent, while we've been in town, which made me happy. I also found sort of programmable lights that I need to figure out, and bought the two stars pictured.

I also bought the makings of napkin rings in The Works & One Below. I'm aiming for something like the screenshot attached so we'll see how those go. Both girls eye rolled at me in Primark when we popped in for the gold table runner I'd seen - they had napkins just shoved through the display rings so I re-folded them into bows 🤣

I forgot the stars picture 🙄