Christmas mumsnet

[Blandmum]

Conception:

MaryfromNazareth

I've just had the strangest visit ever. Some bloke in a long white dress, with wings just popped and and told me that I'm pregnant. Is this a new Clearblue product that I've not heard about? Is it, and if so how soon is it reliable? Bit worried as I didn't actually pee on him.

Dear Santa: All I want for Christmas is a sense of humour...

oh,. And the ability to spot a wind-up thread after toomany glasses of wine!

and the ability to spell blasphemer (if it's important to you spell it correctly). where you live . . .
fucking has a g on the end. (although if you're going to make an intelligent and concise argument I would suggest against profanity - especially when arguing with the 'middle classes'
you're not your
.... crumbs woman - merry christmas!!!

Interesting.

"were I live"

versus

where I live

So has slaguoff died? Cunning rebirth thang going on mebbe? Joining in the spirit of the thread?

I like to think so.

big fat Xmas bodenwearing suckers! stop shoving your factual and wellresearched opinions down my throat and let Mary just give him a fuckin bottle! Bollox, she's got fuckall else to do she can sterilise a few can't she. Anyway, she's hogging the son of god all for herself to feed isn't she, bloody DH isn't getting a look in.

relationships:IS THERE EVER AN EXCUSE FOR INFIDELITY?

dh has got some teenage virgin knocked up. apparently he had to do it to save humanity and his (only) ds will die for truth and good.

in every other way he is perfect. he is my universe and all that is good in my life, but i feel a little put out by this. can we work through this?

...

I knew you were joining in the spirit of it all Slaguoff.

I don't think DH ever got a look in, did he? Well a look maybe but certainly not a feel.

ah but ever seen dogma? surely mary didnt REMAIN a virgin

That slaguoff, she's a real illiterate and ill-mannered bint...

indeed

Strange how Slaguoff's grammar improved so radically though, don't you think?

One grammar lesson turned her literate. They should do them in schools, clearly.

...

Bumping... and nominating MB (No! Not me, martianbishop - I'm not that vain...) for a Peerage in the MN New Year Honours...

Relationships:

spending yet another xmas alone. dh gets up, puts on his coat and boots then i dont see him or our pet reindeer til boxing day. i know he's busy this time of year (he works in export) but i miss him. even if he wont shave off that fecking beard!

Conception:
DH suspects I've been unfaithful, as he haven't yet done "anything" yet I'm pregnant. Isn't it usual to become pregnant by being visited by a glowing bloke with wings who's wearing a dress?

Travel
Not travelled much in the past but we have recently been advised by a guy who reckons he's quite savvy (wise man he said, but we thought it seemed a bit presumptuous)that we need to head to Egypt. Does anyone know if Easyjet have set up a Bethlehem - Cairo route yet, or are we gonna have to travel by sodding donkey again? I used a donkey to get to Bethlehem - my nether regions still hurt.

genius Lissie, a whole new Xmas angle to keep this one going! I nominate you too for a NY gong...

AIBU:

to expect a little bit of courtesy when I'm at work? FFS if you must leave mince pies, please god don't just give me the stale ones while you keep the 'these are not just any mince pies' for the MIL. Who my small green and red spies tell me you hate anyway...

And while I'm on, is it too much to ask for you to put the fecking fire out?

Travel:

Bloody NORAD, their radar isn't half interfering with Rudolf's nose my navigation. Can someone please post directions to Kennington from Svalbard please - I'm a bit stuck over the North Circular Sea and desperate for a slash...

pmsl