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[Blandmum]

Conception:

MaryfromNazareth

I've just had the strangest visit ever. Some bloke in a long white dress, with wings just popped and and told me that I'm pregnant. Is this a new Clearblue product that I've not heard about? Is it, and if so how soon is it reliable? Bit worried as I didn't actually pee on him.

Teenagers
J is being a nightmare. He's always hanging out with this big gang of 11 lads, proper teatowelies. He's going to end up with an asbo for christ's sake. He brought a girl home last night and I swear I saw her touting for business at the local Inn last week. He just prattles on about forgiveness and he without sin . . . I could tell him a thing about being without sin. He never closes doors behind him. Honestly you'd think he was born in a barn. His attitude is beyond the pale, he acts like he's god's gift or something.
Now I know I'll probably be crucified for this, but should I just kick him out. I mean who wants their ds living with them til there in their 30's or something.

Childbirth

Has anyone's midwife been an ox?

AIBU

A new upstart wants my job. AIBU to have every baby boy "taken care of"?

allergies.

do you think I should give our baby loaves and fishes?
I know its traditional, but what about allergies? DH wants to start him taste/make some wine, but its far too early for all that.

Relationships

Update

Thanks for the advice Bumperlicious.

Have decided to stick with my DH, he says he'll look after us, but wants us to move away for a new start.

How am I going to cope with a new baby, in a new town and with no family around to help?

For Christ's sake he want us to move to Bethlehem! That's miles away. Where is that anyway? Somewhere in Wales?

What if my (ex) boyfriend follows us? He says he'll always be there for us. He knows where we are and what we are doing. God it's beginning to give me creeps.

Book Club;

Thinking of writing a book, got together with a bunch of mates and we're gonna do a chapter each.
Not sure about the title though, thinking of "We Need To Talk About Jesus"....or do you think a one-word, pithy sort of title might work better?
tia

Book club

about your book title, what about Born In Bethlehem, Leading Everyone? Or you could shorten it. Good luck with finding authors!

Thanks. Already got a queue formimg. My old mate Phil Collins and his band want to get involved, which is great, but he's insisting on doing the first chapter.

Book Club
Sorry to be blunt, but I'm not sure there's a market for this kind of thing. I mean its never going to be a best seller is it?

My DS1's real dad only makes an appearance once in a blue moon. But DS1 thinks the world of him, would do anything he asked. He takes all sorts of risks just to please his father and I'm worried it will all end badly. Advice please.

Should I set the CSA on his real dad?

Legal/Money matters

My newborn boy has had a few gifts from some elderly relatives of my DH (I think they're relatives of his - though they weren't terribly clear).

Two questions:

(i) Is it legally possible for us to use some of this money for a deposit on a house? We're living in a barn at the moment and the previous occupants haven't moved out!

(ii) Is it possible to deposit gold frankincense and myrrh into a Child Trust Fund?

Roady - respect!

Relationships:

I know my Dh works hard at night on hillsides but AIBU to expect him to wash his socks when i ask him to and not bugger off into the night?

He never puts them in the wash basket!

Just found this thread - genius! Am working on one...

no it's no good. I bow at the feet of MN genius... and bump.

4th wise man: "I'm from Bounty and I've just brought you a few gifts..."

My DW's ex-P is really creeping me out. I do all the everyday stuff for his son - I've taken him on as an apprentice; smoothed things over when he gets into trouble at the temple, etc, etc. His real dad hardly ever shows up, but when he does it's always 'My son is perfect, no-one is as good as him, he is really something special.'

He was the same with DW. Always going on about how she had to be perfect. Really screwed up about sex - 'Are you a virgin, are you really a virgin cos I don't go with anyone who's not a virgin.'

He is like a stalker - he really seems to be everywhere we go. Sometimes I feel like decking him, but he is a very powerful bloke.

So anyway, recently DS has been telling me some worrying stuff his dad has been saying. He says DS is going to die, he has to die. I'm terrified that he is going to do something awful. I've even been to the Romans to try and get him sectioned, but all they say is they 'wash their hands of him.' WTF should I do?

Relationships

BITOFAPRUDE

I've changed my name for this one. DP wants to 'Dong Dong merrily on high'

and I'm not sure if I should go along with him.

What do you think?

If UCM was Mary
In the stable surrounded by shepherds, wise men and other dignitaries ? ye are all C**NTS the lot of ye.

bump - it's too brilliant to miss...

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Pets:

My donkey looks a bit tired after a long journey on a dusty road. He also seems a bit put out by the new arrival, what should I do?

Chat

your all fuckin blasfemers ya snotty middle class cows. were I live we show a bit more respect