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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Christmas mumsnet

195 replies

Blandmum · 17/12/2007 17:07

Conception:

MaryfromNazareth

I've just had the strangest visit ever. Some bloke in a long white dress, with wings just popped and and told me that I'm pregnant. Is this a new Clearblue product that I've not heard about? Is it, and if so how soon is it reliable? Bit worried as I didn't actually pee on him.

OP posts:
CremolaFirCone · 17/12/2007 18:28

EDUCATION:GIFTED AND TALENTED
well He is

WanderingHolly · 17/12/2007 18:28

Gardening

I don't know what ds has done to my fig tree, but it's dead.

TenLordsaLapin · 17/12/2007 18:28

Style and beauty: Cod's Piece. This week: miracle creams

CremolaFirCone · 17/12/2007 18:30

ROFL WH

Brandnewchristmaspyjamasgirl · 17/12/2007 18:31

Gransnet

I am really worried about my DS he took up with this young girl (mary)and she has been filling his head up with all sorts of nonsense ,the latest been she claims she is a Virgin but is looking exceedingly chubby Anyway there was a big row last night after this girl started blabbering on about Angels ,Things got a bit out of hand and I will admit a few stones were thrown by myself and the neighbours. DS disappered with Mary and this morning I find a scroll attached to the Barn door letting me know he's took his Dads donkey and buggered off with Mary.

What do I do

WanderingHolly · 17/12/2007 18:34

Relationships

I too am worried about my ds and a Mary. She's got something of a crush on him but she's a bit slutty. Any advice?

stillaslowreader · 17/12/2007 18:46

Inlaws
PIL thinks he's God. What shall I get him for Christmas?

S1ur · 17/12/2007 18:53

Employment

I want to spend xmas eve with my kids, what are my chances of a job share? Or should I just ask for flexi-time?
Please help,
F.C.

stillaslowreader · 17/12/2007 18:58

Pets
AIBU? I should like to have been consulted before ds (age I day fgs) was given live sheep.

WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS · 17/12/2007 19:08

AIBU: To want to chose a Christmas prezzy myself?

Our friends have specifically told us they want Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh for their DS for Christmas. I wanted to go out and pick the presents myself, I don't want to be dictated to by them what to buy FFS don't they know how much gold costs? AIBU to want to buy a Thomas The Tank Engine train set instead?

YuleLoveHekateAtSolstice · 17/12/2007 19:12

AIBU

To be really really sick of my mate?

She's just had a baby and acts like he's the son of God or something.

Talk about PFB syndrome.

stillaslowreader · 17/12/2007 19:15

You may be misunderstanding a different culture. TtheTE not universally rated cf gold which is pretty standard.
Was v indignant myself when pfb given live sheep (see previous post) but actually I should have realised not pets, simply needed folding in 3 and using with a waterproof wrap -have always used disposables

WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS · 17/12/2007 19:25

lol stillaslowreader!

Kathyate6mincepies · 17/12/2007 19:42

Childbirth
Just had a completely pain free labour! Is it like this for everyone?

I reckon everyone else is making a fuss about nothing about labour - mine was completely pain free. I found it helped if you keep active throughout (just wanted to share that tip - we were travelling to Bethlehem on a donkey LOL!). I am completely without sin too which may have helped.

CremolaFirCone · 17/12/2007 19:48

Style: Boden Sale:
Loooooooook hotchpotch velvet edge yashmac 50% off

flowerytaleofNewYork · 17/12/2007 19:52

Employment

I am a shepherd and have been asked to take the sheep on a trip. This will involve travelling day and night. Surely this is against the Working Time Directive? And if I claim expenses for the cost of new sandals when mine wear out is that a taxable benefit?

NoChatroomAtTheInn · 17/12/2007 19:55

Well, its been a bit hectic, but I've managed to upload this pic of me and ds1 at last

Kathyate6mincepies · 17/12/2007 19:55

Flowery - I asked my Roman tax adviser that and he said 'render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's' which ought to answer your question

fairylights · 17/12/2007 20:00

pmsl at this thread, am weeping with mirth..

stillaslowreader · 17/12/2007 20:01

FT of NY
You should rest on a hilltop now and then.
Re sandals I would just claim a milage allowance this should cover you for wear and tear on sandals + general maitenance of sheep etc.
Alternatively you could try the sponsorship route. K Herod might be interested but there would have to be something in it for him.

flowerytaleofNewYork · 17/12/2007 20:08
flowerytaleofNewYork · 17/12/2007 20:10
TenLordsaLapin · 17/12/2007 20:25

Geeky stuff

I'm stuck in this stable, I want to email all my mates and tell them my wife's just had a baby, but there's no WiFi - talk about primitive! Do you think it would be cheeky to piggyback someone's connection in the inn next door?

Califraunkincense · 17/12/2007 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 17/12/2007 20:29

My fianceé who had previously assured me that she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage, now tells me that she is pregnant by another man. Oh but it's ok she says, the other man is God. She expects me to take care of her and this expected "son of God" baby, am I being conned?