Christmas mumsnet

[Blandmum]

Conception:

MaryfromNazareth

I've just had the strangest visit ever. Some bloke in a long white dress, with wings just popped and and told me that I'm pregnant. Is this a new Clearblue product that I've not heard about? Is it, and if so how soon is it reliable? Bit worried as I didn't actually pee on him.

MUMSNET SWAPS:

1 MANGER OFFERED

WANTED 1 QUINNY ZAPP

ROFL Cremola

I worship my ds. Is this PFB syndrome?

AIBU to think it goes against the spirit of MN to have people trying to offload their manky old mangers (and everyone knows you shouldn't reuse hay) on the swaps boards?

PMSL at this thread!

Recipes

Our local Waitrose is all out of turkeys - does anyone know how long it takes to roast an ass?

Behaviour:

My ds thinks he can walk on water, I want him to wear armbands. Any advice?

Weaning: Is it ok to start BLW on bread and fish? We seem to have loads of this left over in baskets from a picnic, but not much else.

Parties/celebrations

Birthday clashes with pagan festival. What to do?
Do you think I could get away with turning the focus on ds's birthday and ignoring the pagan hoo har? I'm hoping everyone will follow my lead, or is that too pfb of me?

ROFL!

Language/bilingualism

Aramaic and Latin - can it ever work?

Parenting:

DS keeps turning his milk in to wine. I've tried telling him no but he hiccups and laughs at me. What should I do?

AIBU

Arrrgh, there is a kid in DS's class, his mother drives me NUTS! She acts like he can turn water into wine or something! Anyway, she's not so special, wait till she finds out we're all been invited to Herod's palace and they haven't

teenagers

I want my son to do an apprenticeship with his father and become a carpenter. He wants to do theology. I think this is a waste of time, and my end badly.

What do you think?

Reply to mb

FGS woman, what's the worst that can happen with a simple life in theology - crucifiction? Get a grip.

Oh Mary, I sympathise, teenagers really are a cross you have to bear

Ethical Living.

My son says I should render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and pay my taxes. But the Romans are using the money to build roads everywhere and you can't move for Ox carts. This can't be good for the environment. What should I do?

Health:

Strange glow around baby's head. Is this ass-flea infestation or myrrh intolerance?

LOL WanderingHolly, great minds!

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP I'M DESPERATE
Anyone near Jerusalem Ikea ?- I really need to get a flatpack donkey cart to get back to Nazareth.
Bethlehem Ikea sold out

Chat

Sheesh! You wait for one king, then three come at once.

Christmas: Can anyone tell me where I can get Myrrh online?? It's out of stock everywhere and it's the only thing DS wants for Christmas!

The stable next door has an inflatable life sized donkey, a neon manger and an illuminated ox out the front. Is that a bit chavvy?

Legal - we were on our way to pay our taxes when my wife had her baby, and all these people I've never met keep coming to visit. In all the commotion I completely forgot to submit my tax return and now the inland revenue are trying to charge me £100 plus interest for a late return. Is there anything I can do?

Dadsnet

Hi guys, I am Joe and have just become a Dad.
Thought it would be good to get involved on a parenting forum.

So..who is your favourite totty in all of the Roman Empire?!?