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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I will now make a huge idiot of myself...

449 replies

openerofjars · 26/05/2012 20:08

...but that last BH made my eyes water. And the previous two weren't very comfortable, either.

Um. I have a surveyor coming round to the house on Monday and I also booked in to get my roots done for Monday afternoon.

We are trying to get DS through bath time and bedtime at the mo'.

And DH wants to go and get a takeaway after DS is in bed.

The house is in a state as well.

Look, this isn't a veery convenient time.

Okay, if things are kicking off, which I hope they aren't and bet they aren't now I've started a thread about it, how can I slow it down/stop it for a couple of days?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Original poster
openerofjars · 30/05/2012 22:49

Dude, squatting is one thing but moving a piano from one storey to the next, which is clearly what s/he is trying to do, is quite another.

It's all gone calm again. Maybe s/he just had an itch or something.

Come out, Bumpy. I have some really cute little hats for you, and milk, and a big brother to torment. When you're bigger we can look at cats being silly on the Internet together. I will show you how to do a forwards roll in the swimming pool and read you The Dark is Rising when you are old enough to enjoy it. I will make grotty collages with you out of autumn leaves and pasta, and claim that they are Great Art. I will help you leave a carrot out for
Rudolph. Just come on out soonish, okay? Your grandparents are driving me nuts with the constant texting...

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GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 22:51

Oh my word, your last post made me very weepy. What a wonderful list of things to plan with your future DC Grin

Original poster
openerofjars · 30/05/2012 22:54

Well, I'm leaving out the shit stuff about eating vegetables and tidying its room... Wink

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OnlyWantsOneTwoAndThree · 30/05/2012 22:57

Awwwwww Smile

I think I have a girl crush on the OP

Jacksmania · 30/05/2012 22:59

Oh man, I so want to be in on your labour thread. You sound like such a cool mum. Wish I lived closer! I'd come over and help you make crap art. DS loves that sort of thing!

Come on baby Thingumy. It's about time.

Jacksmania · 30/05/2012 23:02

You do know that when you start your "this is it" thread you MUST come back on this one and link to it. Please. Please please please!

Original poster
openerofjars · 30/05/2012 23:04
Blush

Silly people. It's all a front. Grin

Okay, I'm going to go to bed, but will report back should agonising pain and a person coming out of my nether regions look likely.

Straw poll: DH has to vac the house when I go into labour, right? Only last time I remember crouching on the floor during a contraction and getting depressed at how minging the carpet under the sofa was because it was only an inch from my nose for ages and it was all I could focus on for a bit...

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Original poster
openerofjars · 30/05/2012 23:05

Nah, I'm going to keep this thread going. I don't think I could do links in labour...

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Jacksmania · 31/05/2012 05:55

Oh yes, vacuuming is absolutely DH's duty when things get going :o

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/05/2012 13:21

No sign of any little jars yet?

Original poster
openerofjars · 31/05/2012 13:39

Nope, but I am getting gradually more uncomfortable and the braxton hicks are getting worse. Things are moving, but slowly.

Thing is, all the literature is about the average labour and birth. I seem to start off v slowly (was in latent state with DS for about a week to ten days) and it is always assumed you will have a show and then start having cx. Well, I don't remember a bloody shas last time and was having BH cx for ages, then my waters went, and then cx started. I clearly have it all ass-backwards.

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Original poster
openerofjars · 31/05/2012 21:13

Shas, show, whatever... Bloody iPad .

How we all doing? Gin sling, anyone?

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GnocchiNineDoors · 31/05/2012 21:18

Have you got '100 floors' ? Tis a great app game. Im hooked. might help pass some of the time? Youve had me reminiscing about my last weeks of labour today. I miss it but I like being able to put my socks on easier now.

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/05/2012 21:18
Original poster
openerofjars · 31/05/2012 22:05

I can't do puzzles, 'tis a personal failing. My brain just isn't logical. I can do creative stuff, but not if it involves the maths bit of the mind.

I am however having a lovely evening with DH trying to organise our lovely shiny new joint account before labour kicks in and I can't do it. I spent this afternoon getting direct debits transferred etc and, honestly, I would rather have a person come out of my vagina than do all that again.

In fact, I would rather have stitches than manage my finances.

That's a nice glass. Lalique crystal, is it? Very naice. My virtual glass is a Viking drinking horn at the moment, but it looks bloody silly with a cocktail umbrella in it and a curl of orange peel on the rim. Also useless for mojitos.

See, not in labour. I would make less sense.

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HelloBear · 31/05/2012 22:11

Loving this thread, open you make me Grin

MmeLindor. · 31/05/2012 22:12

at the letter to baby post.

Stop that right now. You are making MNetters cry and we can't have that.

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/05/2012 22:14

Mmmmm i had a very naice mojito on sunday evening at dinner for dh's and my first anniversary dinner.

my favourite glass is a big wide one with a a sort of face in it. My sister stole it from a bar and I held it to ransom but she wasnt fussed! Shocking as its fabulous really.

Have you a room for the baby sorted? I kniw they stay in with us for too long a bit but I loved decorating dds room and filling it with all her little buts.

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/05/2012 22:15

Arg! BITS

Original poster
openerofjars · 31/05/2012 22:20

No, it's dc2 so it will bunk in with DS when it is old enough, but it has a darling little Moses basket to snuffle in, next to my side of the bed. We are going to move house soon, so we will be decorating a room for both DC in a few months. I can't wait!

See, baby? It's really nice here. We hoovered for you today and everything, and Daddy is doing hard sums so that we can afford you the new house. Come on out and join us, please.

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Original poster
openerofjars · 31/05/2012 23:17

Hmm.

Ow. That last one was a bit more interesting. Could be nothing, could be something starting up.

Just going to charge the iPad jic.

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Jacksmania · 31/05/2012 23:21

Ok, I'm here, you can have the baby now! :o

(Had to make the hellish drive into Vancouver this morning, left at 7 am to be there at 9 am - sooooo much fun.... - but I did check the thread on my iPhone to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Not while driving of course.)

If things kick off I'll be around for quite a while...

My favourite drinking vessel is a stemless wine glass. Wine, anyone?

GnocchiNineDoors · 31/05/2012 23:21

Got to be starting something
if you wanna be starting something wooow.

MmeLindor. · 31/05/2012 23:31

I will drink out of a Royal Wedding mug as long as it has Wine in it.

You are NOT going to make me cry again.

Original poster
openerofjars · 31/05/2012 23:38

I bet I'm not allowed wine if I go into labour.

But my fabulous MIL got me a half-bottle of champagne for after the birth when she was in France last week (all for me as DH doesn't drink it, silly man). I love that woman. Not only does she provide me with DH, she buys me fizz.

I've had another couple of pains like that. Do I try to go to bed for a bit or what? Obviously I am now a little wired and squeaky, not all calm and earth-mothery, but DH has work in the morning if it's a false alarm.

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