Struggling with likely inoperable cancer diagnosis while waiting for confirmation

[EmeraldJeanie]

I'm struggling. My husband is in hospital and been told after MRI likely inoperable cancer. If confirmed (biopsy Tuesday and they seem certain) then week til confirmation of something they are sure about and then chemo/ palliative care. Also procedure on Monday before biopsy Tuesday.
He looks the fittest man on the ward. He walked 15,000 steps round the hospital grounds yesterday. He is masking for our boys - sixth form and university age but talking about finances/ dignitas with me.
I am signed off work with stress. We are both late 50s.
This is all rather outing for anyone who knows me but perhaps that doesn't matter.
I need to buck up. I am losing weight and slim anyway. This limbo awful and yet knowing for sure will be awful too.

Please don’t be hard on yourself. It is normal to just go through life and not be hyper aware and focussed on all the beautiful things. The fact that you are there right now shows how much you love him.

I Would make an appointment with your GP to get leave from work.

and you don’t need to get through this. You just need to get through this minute

What a shit situation.
As others have said: don’t quit your job. Take extended sick leave.
Of course you haven’t always been kind to your DH. It’s normal!
But be kind to yourself.
You don’t need to eat lots, just try to eat good stuff. And hey, if it’s chocolate and cake, so be it. At least you’ll get calories.

And cry.
And try and take some sleeping tablets once in a while if you can’t sleep.
Big hug

So sorry to hear your update. You must both feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. It’s a lot to take in.
Definitely go to your GP. It’s important they know what’s happening and that you get the right support.
Take it one day at a time. Choose who you might tell. I know when my husband had cancer he didn’t want everyone to know, and some people just made it worse.
Post on here if you need to offload or get advice.
Sadly many of us have been through what you’re experiencing.

I’m so sorry @EmeraldJeanie . When my DH was dying, the doctor was blunt. I think it’s so we know exactly what we’re facing.

At some point, you might want your job. Both for the money and for normality.

He died today

So sorry to hear this Emerald.

Oh that's so quick. I'm so sorry.

@EmeraldJeanie I'm so very sorry you didn't have longer together. I hope your family is supporting you well.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

@EmeraldJeanie I am so so sorry, sending so much love to you and your family.

We lost our son (28) a year ago on the 29th of this month - he had a brain tumour.

It’s not going to be easy, just take one step at a time xx

I’m so sorry to read this ❤️ wishing you lots of strength x

Oh @EmeraldJeanie I am so sorry for your loss. Sorry that cancer is so cruel. Sorry that you didn’t get more time. You and your sons are in my thoughts tonight.

So sorry for your loss. Struggling to find something to say. God bless.

I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you all my love and fortitude to you and your boys. I hope you have support in real life , and please allow people to support you. ❤️

I’m so very sorry. I hope you have people with you to support you at this worst of times.

So very sorry that this has happened to your family. I hope you can find support from your wider family and friends. This is not fair.

I am so sorry.

Oh I’m so sorry. What a cruel disease. Take care. You’ve had such a horrendous few weeks, I hope you have support x

I’m so sorry

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love to you and your boys.

I’m so sorry for your loss @EmeraldJeanie

There are no words @EmeraldJeanie , but we are here, lean on us when you’re ready x

So sorry for your loss ❤️

I am so sorry.

May his memory be a blessing. I am so sorry for your loss.