Struggling with likely inoperable cancer diagnosis while waiting for confirmation

[EmeraldJeanie]

I'm struggling. My husband is in hospital and been told after MRI likely inoperable cancer. If confirmed (biopsy Tuesday and they seem certain) then week til confirmation of something they are sure about and then chemo/ palliative care. Also procedure on Monday before biopsy Tuesday.
He looks the fittest man on the ward. He walked 15,000 steps round the hospital grounds yesterday. He is masking for our boys - sixth form and university age but talking about finances/ dignitas with me.
I am signed off work with stress. We are both late 50s.
This is all rather outing for anyone who knows me but perhaps that doesn't matter.
I need to buck up. I am losing weight and slim anyway. This limbo awful and yet knowing for sure will be awful too.

Adding my sympathy and love to you abd your boys at this hearbreaking time. Couldn't read and leave. What a terrible shock for you and all who loved him. I'm so very sorry.

My dear @EmeraldJeanie I am so sorry to hear the sad news about the death of you husband.

I have a guide that I have created for friends and colleague of practical advice about what you will need to do over the coming weeks, it is not comprehensive or perfect but I know that people have found it useful, so pls DM me with an email address I can send it to, if you would like it... actually if anyone else needs it, pls drop me a note.

The next thing is really important, there is no right or wrong way to deal with grief and the next few days, months or years, whatever gets you through is best and ignore everyone else, even me. Accept help that is offered and most of all be kind to yourself.

May his memory be a blessing to you, your family and his friends.

Oh OP. Praying for you and your boys, and your husband. Nothing anyone can say will make it better, I just really hope you manage to find peace and you have comfort IRL to help you through this. Sending virtual hugs.

That was very quick OP.... so very sorry for your loss..... thinking of you.....🌹

I am so very sorry op. Holding you and your boys in my thoughts. 🌸

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to read of your husband's death, what an enormous shock for you and all your family.
Sincere condolences on this very sad news.
Just take it one day at a time as you come to terms with your loss and grab every offer of help that comes your way.
Thinking of you all .

I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, but if you want to talk to strangers, we’re all here to listen

So sorry to read this OP.

I hope you have plenty of support IRL.

❤

I’m so sorry about your loss, and yet you didn’t know till so late………you know the answers.
I hope you and your boys can find some help and comfort to those nearest to you

How abaolutely tragic. I am so sorry. May his memory be a blessing.

I am so sorry for you and your boys. I'm sure there are many people from MN sending you love and support x

I’m sorry for your loss.

Kindly, you may want to delete your post as the OP's husband had passed away when you wrote the post

Sending a mountain of hugs at this sad time 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 Hold your boys close and they will help you get through this xxxxxxxxxx

So sorry for your loss 😭 thinking of you and your boys at this difficult time ❤️

... there's a book 'Bearing the Unbearable' that gives language to feelings and may help hold you when emotions are so totally overwhelming. With love x

Thank you all for your support. We have had his funeral now and now are very slowly coming to terms with our new life. Lots of admin to unravel but taking that very slowly. Garden a jungle and house even messier than usual. Relieved to be on the otherside of the funeral. It went as well as such an event can do and the Wake did seem a celebration of him. Still feels surreal.
Thanks all xx

Sending my very best to you. Hope you are able to rest and look after yourself.

Sending strength to you and the children

Another person sending support to you and your family..

Sending strength.
Would you like to tell us a bit about him?

Thinking of you during this difficult time.

I am so sorry about your husband. You and your boys must be reeling from the shock of the speed of it. I hope you have good support from friends and family. Be gentle on yourselves and give yourselves time.

Our diagnosis was 2 1/2 years to end. He masked so much at the end so it was a shock we thought we had more time, at least another 6 months, but from going to oncology, because I was concerned about him, to the end was a week. I feel for you.
I wasn't coping, and have never considered councilling before but our local hospice offered it. They won't do it straight away but if you can access this, I highly recommend it. I'm still going 9 months down the line. 💐

I'm so sorry. This can be the worst time when everyone has gone away after the funeral. Focus on what you need to do but make time to get out in that garden, it will help.