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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anyone else prepared to admit that they didn't b/f just because they didn't want to ??

650 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 19:46

Just wondered really.

I have 3 dc and didn't breast feed any. I was 19 when I had dd1 and was asked by a midwife if i'd be breastfeeding and I said no. There was no argument or discussion, that was that.

When I had dd2 at 34 weeks she had to be tube fed. I offered to express milk for her but was told i needn't bother.

With ds, again I didn't want to but even if I had it would have been hard as he was supposed to be on phototherapy 24/7 for a week.

I think the attitude towards ff mums on this forum by some bf mums is disgusting. I would never dream of saying anything against any mum for feeding her baby by whichever way she chooses, yet some of the comments on here like 'formula should only be available if there is a proven medical need' are just awful.

OP posts:
traceybath · 02/01/2009 19:51

Well i bf but respect you for being honest.

We all make our own choices for whatever reasons and as long as people have the information to make sensible decisions then thats up to them.

Do you feel you were given had access to good information?

littleboyblue · 02/01/2009 19:53

I tried to bf ds and prob gave up too soon/early but don't regret ff. Also thinking about what to do with number 2 (due in 6 wks) and although I know I should really bf, I don't think I want to.

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 19:53

Thank you, and I respect your choice also.

Looking back I don't think it was really discussed. I remember my community midwife asking me what I was going to do and when I said I was going to ff she just marked it down in my file.

As far as I can remember it was never discussed after that or in any subsequent pregnancies.

OP posts:
Umlellala · 02/01/2009 19:54

Yeah. I didn't want to b/f dd. But decided to do the first three days, then mixed fed for three weeks but stopped because I didn't realise it was ok to feed 24/7 and also because I was fed up feeling pregnant and leaky and messy still (selfish? maybe ).

BUT I am bfing ds and it is really very normal and easy. Great for lazy mum like me .

Each to their own. We all make decisions on what we prioritise for our kids. Think lots of people on here are concerned that people are aware of all the benefits/risks before making that decision, that's all.

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 02/01/2009 19:56

IMO and IME there is no such thing as 'just because you didn't want to', or at least the not wanting to is set in some sort of context.

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 19:57

Nope, I really just didn't want to.

OP posts:
StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 02/01/2009 20:01

Okay, - consider that bfing is/was/maybe should be the norm and what our breasts were made for....

FF in this case would be an active choice. You would be choosing TO ff which imo would be because you had a REASON NOT TO BF iygwim.

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 20:03

But I didn't have a reason not to bf, I just didn't want to.

OP posts:
wenceslasmyeducation · 02/01/2009 20:04

I don't think the sentence you quoted is awful at all. Why is it awful?

LittleMissNorty · 02/01/2009 20:04

Same here...I didn't want to.....and the only time I have ever been given a hard time about it is her on MN.

DC2 comes along in 4 weeks, and will also be FF.

I know its the right thing for me and my DCs....good enough for me.

I wouldn't dream of preaching to someone else and don't expect anyone to preach to me. All my choices are informed choices, and that is what is important IMO.

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 20:04

Because we are supposed to have choice thats why.

Do you think women should be forced to breastfeed then ??

OP posts:
Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 20:06

Exactly Littlemiss. I wouldn't dream of preaching to a bf mum, but alot of them seem to thin k it is ok to preach to ff mums.

OP posts:
herbietea · 02/01/2009 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

izzybiz · 02/01/2009 20:08

I didn't.
Was 16 when I had my first, and all the way through thought i would BF, it was pushed for all the time by midwives and health visitors etc.
When he was born I just didn't want to so FF fed him from the start, and have never regretted my choice.

With my Dd it was never even discussed, the midwife asked how I wanted to feed, I chose FF and that was that.

Had Ds2 14 weeks ago and am FF him too.
I have wondered briefly if I should have at least tried so I have experienced it, but I am still very happy with my choices.

I am all for chioce and every mother should feed as they see fit.

wenceslasmyeducation · 02/01/2009 20:09

So if artificial wombs were available that could grow a baby, but that baby was more at risk of developing serious illnesses, do you think that women should be able to choose to use that, or should it be reserved for those with a medical need?

LoveMyLapTop · 02/01/2009 20:10

I couldnt BF with DS1
and didnt want to BF DS2
I am happy with the choice I made

wenceslasmyeducation · 02/01/2009 20:11

I'm not wanting to start a fight here, your choice etc., but I don't see that point you quoted as being truly awful, that's the only reason I'm asking.

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 20:11

Totally different situation, not even remotly similar.

OP posts:
simpson · 02/01/2009 20:12

I didn't want to either.

I have FF both my Dcs. DD only 11mths so still FFing.

spongebrainbigpants · 02/01/2009 20:12

IB, wanted to bf but couldn't.

Totally agree with you about the way ff mums are treated on MN. Shocking .

wenceslasmyeducation · 02/01/2009 20:12

I've gone and put my foot in it again, haven't I.
It's just the subject of 'choice' winds me up, I dodn't mean to come across so aggressively, sorry.

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 20:12

Why is that alot of bf mums always say 'i don't wish to start a fight....... but ?' and then the next sentance is always sometning about why they feel you should have bf.

OP posts:
Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 20:14

Thats fine, no problem, it just annoys me how ff mums get treated on here thats all.

Every mum has a chopice and whatever choice they make is completeoly and utterly up to them and imo shouldn't be n it picked over by anyone.

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 02/01/2009 20:15

I'll be honest, I can't understand not wanting to BF unless you have major boob issues or similar. It is really important to me and I was gutted not to BF DS1. BUT I really hate the judging and preaching that goes on too, in both directions. Just because something seems right to you doesn't make it right for someone else. It's a free country.

NotSoRampantRabbit · 02/01/2009 20:15

"But I didn't have a reason not to bf, I just didn't want to".

Even though children who are bf are at reduced risk of obesity and all the associated health risks?

You see, I think, ok your choice, but was it REALLY informed? Did you have all the facts? If you'd had them would you still have made the same choice?