Anyone else prepared to admit that they didn't b/f just because they didn't want to ??

[IllegallyBrunette]

Just wondered really.

I have 3 dc and didn't breast feed any. I was 19 when I had dd1 and was asked by a midwife if i'd be breastfeeding and I said no. There was no argument or discussion, that was that.

When I had dd2 at 34 weeks she had to be tube fed. I offered to express milk for her but was told i needn't bother.

With ds, again I didn't want to but even if I had it would have been hard as he was supposed to be on phototherapy 24/7 for a week.

I think the attitude towards ff mums on this forum by some bf mums is disgusting. I would never dream of saying anything against any mum for feeding her baby by whichever way she chooses, yet some of the comments on here like 'formula should only be available if there is a proven medical need' are just awful.

I do think that some of the how-could-you-not-breastfeed stuff is just more misogyny - it's 'WOmen! Never mind what you want, you're baby-machines so shut up and do as you're told' like all the ludicrous hysteria about drinking alcohol in pregnancy.
I wanted to bf but I couldn't. I have inverted nipples, the birth was induced, I was on high doses of beta-blockers and also DS has inherited my pointy nose and chin (which combined with flat nipples made a good latch difficult) - and I just had no milk for him. ANd I tried fennel tea, fenugreek, expressing... if I hadn't given him formula he would have starved. I spent a month getting about 3 drops of milk a day into him by pretty much wringing out each tit. Luckily one kind friend told me that just by trying ie letting him snuggle up to the boob and even getting a drop or two was going to be good for him otherwise I would have been in despair (and did spend a lot of the first week or two snivelling at what a failure I was).
But he's 4 now, very healthy, not obese, so I'm another one who could do without all the fuckwittery about formula being 'damaging' when it clearly isn't.

See that's the reaction I didn't want, sorry.
But what is your response to the control issue? If you accept these other factors were controlled for, then where does that leave your argument?

What, the researchers controlled what a person ate from baby to adulthood, everything, all of the time ???

I am not saying I disgaree with the obesity thing to be arsey, I just honestly don't agree that ff effects obesity levels.

Yes we know "Breast is Best" we are not thick.

However in the grand scheme of things, chosing to FF your child is hardly the work of Satan.

I assume you can control in retrospect - assign people to different groups.
It isn't perfect i know but it's a lot better than nothing at all. Otherwise how would other links such as smoking and cancer be found? I doubt they sent people away and told them to smoke 40 a day.

If I'm totally honest I didn't want to breastfeed but I did it because I felt socially bound to do so by the expectations of the people in my family and social group, and, more than anything, the fact that I knew it was the best thing for my baby.

I've always felt jealous of b/f's who enjoy it though and find it very hard when people like that talk about b/f as if it's a lovely experience for everybody and you'd be crazy not to want to do it.

Oh and all research is perfect, isn't it?

No one lies when questioned to make themselves sound better or give the interviewer what they want, do they?

Please.

No, not all research is perfect but what makes you think this is flawed, exactly?

Science, eh? Pff.

I think their research is flawed then.

My brain just canot see how, someone can say a formnula fed baby is more likely to be obese when they have absolutly no idea what diet that baby will go on to have.

So, if they go on to eat a crap diet and become obese, is that because they ate crap or were formula fed ??

Both.

"No one lies when questioned to make themselves sound better or give the interviewer what they want, do they?
"

You know that...guess what, so do the researchers

Message withdrawn

Rubbish wence, it is because they ate a shite diet anyone would be able to see that.

My friend is obese, she was formula fed as a baby. Up until she was around 33 she was a size 10. Now she is a size 20 and that is because she drinks alot and eats crap not because she was ff.

The researchers know that people lie ?

Ok - I'm no scientist, but my understanding is that breastfeeding is protective factor against childhood and subsequent adult obesity. Studies of large groups of children, that control for factors such as lifestyle and poverty, have found that the longer you bf a baby the lower their risk of becoming obese.

Here is a link to an abstract for just one of many studies that all conclude the same thing:

www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/319/7203/147

It's not really something you can just 'disagree with'. You need to refute it using evidence from a controlled study of almost 10,000 children. Otherwise you just look defensive.

Yes

hmm....thing is Formula feeding has been the social and commonly accepted norm for a very long time and the way boobs are seen has possibly become more sexualised....so....if someone really doesn't like the idea of not breastfeeding is that really an "informed" decision?

Another point, breastfeeding has been, for above reasons, undermined for so long and that is why breastfeeding "success" is more difficult now...you don't have the family support to draw on, etc...if anything, most women will find it easier to find someone that will come up with reasons why they possibly will not succeed with bf. And that is a shame!

However, whilst I rate bf highly and truely even enjoyed it, and still miss it 3 years after stopping bf my youngest....the choice is an individual one and there are many factors that will decide one way or another....as long as the mum is happy with her decision there is no problem....doesn't stp me feeling sorry for all those women that feel they have missed out because bf didn't work out....generally because of things out of their control, and often because their attempts at breastfeeding were undermind by those who are meant to support them....if that makes sense!

If the researchers know that people lie then unless they know exactly what they are lying about and what the truth is how can the research not be flawed ??

This post is not addressed to those who tried but couldn't bf but to those who chose not to breastfeed.

Right now I am sitting on MN with a glass of wine while the DCs are curled up in front of a DVD. I freely admit that I could (and possibly should) be getting them to read through the complete works of Shakespeare, but instead I am copping out and voting for a bit of me-time. I FEEL ENTITLED TO THAT AND I DON'T NEED TO BE CRITICISED FOR IT, OKAY?

Similarly with choosing to formula feed rather than breast feed. We all know that breast feeding is best, but just in this case, this one small aspect of the whole parenting thing, if some women choose to ff rather than bf, then that is their choice and THEY BLARDY WELL SHOULD NOT BE CRITICISED FOR IT.

Lie detectors maybe
I don't know. I've been trying to look something up that has been lurking in the back of my mind, but presumably there has also been research about how accurately people portray health related issues when questioned bith anonymously and in person. So research about research!

Totally agree Quattro. Although maybe you could push yourself to read the sonnets - or are you a complete lazy, couldn't-care-less slattern? My son never goes to bed without a Dickens novel at the very least.

I didn't say I disagreed with the other benefits of bf over ff, just that i disagree that either way of feeding effects obesity. I don't see why that mkes me deluded.