Anyone else prepared to admit that they didn't b/f just because they didn't want to ??

[IllegallyBrunette]

Just wondered really.

I have 3 dc and didn't breast feed any. I was 19 when I had dd1 and was asked by a midwife if i'd be breastfeeding and I said no. There was no argument or discussion, that was that.

When I had dd2 at 34 weeks she had to be tube fed. I offered to express milk for her but was told i needn't bother.

With ds, again I didn't want to but even if I had it would have been hard as he was supposed to be on phototherapy 24/7 for a week.

I think the attitude towards ff mums on this forum by some bf mums is disgusting. I would never dream of saying anything against any mum for feeding her baby by whichever way she chooses, yet some of the comments on here like 'formula should only be available if there is a proven medical need' are just awful.

Plenty of people have good reason for not trying to bf and more for not managing it for as long as they'd like. What I can't understand is just not wanting to.

But expat, you tried didn't you, which is different to what the OP was asking.

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Illegallybrunette - sorry would help if I got your name right

The other gal in our room didn't try. She wasn't ignorant, ill-informed, have issues about her body, naive or any other condescending adjective that could be applied.

She just didn't want to.

Big deal.

She was fun to share a room with and with DS chomping away on me, I felt rather envious, tbh.

I have enough guilt and regret in my life. I don't need any more of it, tbf. Would rather spend my energy on having as terrific and strong a relationship with my kids as possible.

So I am not a loving mother then bloss ??

It is undoubtedly important to ensure that mothers make an educated decision about how they are going to feed their babies - but the fact remains that it is a question of choice and people should not be taken to task for whichever choice they make. It's simply not helpful. I bf my first dc quite happily and successfully, but my second experience was less successful. Both dcs were both bf until they turned 2, but the second was mix-fed from about 16 weeks. I sought advice from bf counsellors when things weren't going well, but tbh they seemed keener on just forcing me to drop the ff completely than actually help with what was going wrong with the bf - I began to wonder if their mission was more important to them than my child's health. Especially as I really, really did not want to be ff, but the poor little bugger needed something to eat, for chrissakes and I wasn't producing enough. Too much dogma just gets in the way and alienates people. Sorry, slightly ranty, but it still rankles nearly 3 years on.

Of course there's more to parenting than feeding your child.

But there is a correlation between the way a baby is fed and health outcomes later in life.

That is why the govt is pressuring local authorities and primary care trusts to increase bf rates.

What I am saying is not judgey or contraversial.

It's fact.

The only obese children I know are ones who's parents ferry them about in a car everywhere and feed them chips and sweets everyday.

Don't worry about is Simpson

You still haven't told me how me ff my 3 has had an effect on society RampantRabbit

Agree with what Expat said.

There is enough in life to feel guilty about...this is not one of mine.

the only obese children i know have obese parents.

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Summary of study in British Medical Journal re bf and obesity:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/395305.stm

Have just told you that neither my children or me and my brothers are obese, so I am confused as why you have linked me to that.

You said that ff my children affected society when it hasn't at all.

Just out of interest, IB, what sort of anti-BF comments do FF-ers make?

I have posted that link because that study, and others like it, are what public health policy are based around.

I didn't want to bf, so i really don't think that forcing myself to do something that I really didn't want to do would be best for my baby.

An artificial womb? What an interesting choice of analogy wenceslasmyeducation.

Lala, tbh it is more people makijng comments about extended feeding really, or occasionaly people comenting on feeding in public.

IB - I'm not suggesting that YOUR children are obese, or that formula feeding them means they are destined to become obese.

But the evidence showing a correlation GENERALLY between ff and increased likelihood of obesity is overwhelming.

I was FF as a baby as were many of my peers. Not one is obese, a social deviant or antisocial in any way.

Does the esteemed research take into acount other factors, i.e poverty when berating mothers who FF?

Incidentally I BF my DC's but it angers me to the point of fury that the BF nazis use this as another reason to beat up mothers. Personally bloss, "I don't get" why you would care about/comment on/pass judgement on choices made by other mothers for their children. Genuinely.

And breeeeeaathhe

KatieScarlett I have not mentioned social deviancy [hmmm] at all.

And yes, studies controlling for the effects of poverty show the same results.

I have to be honest and say that I think the obesity link is rubbish and that there are loads more things responsible for making our children obese that the government and society could focus on.

I think that - on some level - for families in the West, this is a reasonably irrelevant issue. On those rare occasions when ff might result in a health problem (e.g. gastroenteritis), our health services are there to sort it out. In this instance, the choice to ff and its consequences for 'society' (picking up the argument made above) is (and only in these instances, I hasten to add), similar to other lifestyle choices people make which may result in the need for medical assistance. Given that we live in a reasonably free world, people should be free to make choices. Obviously, people can be advised about optimal choices (e.g. to breastfeed, not to smoke, to exercise a lot), but it's their choice.

However, where I think that ff is part of a bigger picture is in the following:

• where it is about misogyny and a general disgust for the female body. Plenty of people 'don't want' to ff because they think bf-ing is disgusting. That's wrong. I'm not suggesting the OP thinks that, but she must recognise that a lot of people who 'don't want' to bf do think this. And its consequences are huge. Many more people ff than bf. Fact.

• MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY: the 'fashion' for ff in the West, and the resultant opportunity for corporations to make big bucks out of essential infant nutrition has resulted in the selling of ff to non-Western cultures where - in the absence of clean water - ff is f**king dangerous. Babies die.