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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anyone else prepared to admit that they didn't b/f just because they didn't want to ??

650 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 19:46

Just wondered really.

I have 3 dc and didn't breast feed any. I was 19 when I had dd1 and was asked by a midwife if i'd be breastfeeding and I said no. There was no argument or discussion, that was that.

When I had dd2 at 34 weeks she had to be tube fed. I offered to express milk for her but was told i needn't bother.

With ds, again I didn't want to but even if I had it would have been hard as he was supposed to be on phototherapy 24/7 for a week.

I think the attitude towards ff mums on this forum by some bf mums is disgusting. I would never dream of saying anything against any mum for feeding her baby by whichever way she chooses, yet some of the comments on here like 'formula should only be available if there is a proven medical need' are just awful.

OP posts:
Breizhette · 02/01/2009 21:27

What Bloss said.

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/01/2009 21:27

Presumably in the same way as the link between smoking and cancer, saturated fat and heart disease, lack of exercise and obesity.
Do you think all these people filled in a minute by minute diary or were given rules about exactly how much to smoke etc? Could someone explain how it differs please?

wenceslasmyeducation · 02/01/2009 21:28

Here's an interesting anecdote for you, if you'll forgive me. My Grandad developed an illness in his seventies that was apparently due to the poor diet he had as a child. I don't remember what it was called, but low Vitamin D as a child apparently left him with poor bone marrow and this caused a liver disease. So things that happened to you when you were a child can have an impact on your health later.
Why wouldn't it?
Also, maybe she'd have been a size 8 if she'd been breastfed?

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 21:28

Anyhow, as much as I love discussing this with you all, I need to go have a bath. I am not running away from the thread I just smell.

OP posts:
simpson · 02/01/2009 21:29

Good post Quattro

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/01/2009 21:29

think I'm off to bed
Night

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/01/2009 21:30

sorry that should have had a - I'm sure you don;t actually smell, or if you do I definitely can't smell you from here!

Dottoressa · 02/01/2009 21:30

Illegally - I am very prepared to admit it!

I did try to bf DS, under pressure from others (inc. DH, sadly). I didn't want to do it, and was deeply unhappy for two horrendous, agonising weeks. The day we switched to ff was the first good day I had as a mother.

I bf'd DD a tiny bit, but basically ff her from birth. When I asked for formula in the hospital, the mws said I needed bf support. I said I didn't need bf support; I needed some sleep!

I wouldn't try to argue that ff is better than ff. It was just what I chose to do, and I have no regrets about it!

(I am, btw, an underweight adult who was exclusively ff as a baby!)

herbietea · 02/01/2009 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NotBigJustBolshy · 02/01/2009 21:32

My first dc was exclusivly bf and was an enormous porker (as a baby and infant). HVs often told me to give her fewer bottles and then gaped when I told them that she had never had any formula. Ever. Mine was gold top the first time round. dd is now aged 10 and v. slender.

NotSoRampantRabbit · 02/01/2009 21:32

Oh ok then, no, quite right. I suggest we forward all anecdotal evidence on this thread to BMJ, Dept Health, Chief Medical Officer etc etc so that they will revise their policy.

Quite clearly all that research is a bunch of arsey arse put together by dim-witted researchers who hadn't even bothered to turn up for their Research Methods 101 class as under-grads.

You have not been judged on this thread ffers. You are deluding yourselves for god knows what reason.

Time for bed and jilly cooper Milton.

lecohen · 02/01/2009 21:32

Hi all, what an interesting thread...thought I'd add my comment for what it's worth.

I am totally FOR breastfeeding and if asked would always advise of the benefits both to mother and baby.

DD1 went on nursing strike at 3 months and I was devastated - I expressed for every feed thereafter until she was 6 months just because I wanted her to have it until at least 6 months. Those 3 months were hell but at least I feel proud of myself for doing it.

I agree though that not everyone is aware of all the benefits (not talking about the stats for obesity / IQ etc.) I mean antibodies / immunity passed to child, helping uterus to contract, convenience and for me, most importantly, that amazing bond shared through breastfeeding.

That said, not everyone shares my feelings and I would NEVER make anyone feel crap for not wanting to b/f.

I had 2 c-sections and although (semi) medically needed, I had no burning desire to labour naturally - I get the feeling that that is another hot topic that people feel strongly about one way or another and often try to "persuade" to try for a natural delivery.

Point I am trying to make is that since this is an open forum, people ARE going to have strong views and not everyone will be diplomatic in expressing them.

Best bet is to try not to let "forceful" comments upset you too much, at the end of the day, we all live our own lives and this forum is here to offer advice etc. which we are fee to take or leave.

dicksbird · 02/01/2009 21:33

For all the rights and wrongs It has to be the best. IMHO and I only BF for 3 months each LO so I not manic about it how could you deny your child what is so natural and best for them ?

Its like saying they shouldnt go to school because you didnt enjoy it either ?

I had a number of friends who refused to Bf and took tablets to suppress their milk supply yet criticised me for using Hipps organic jars when it came to weaning!!

One friend who FF had a baby who was so covered in Excmea he bled yet she had been warned as her and Dh are both very Atopic yet she still would have nothing to do with it.

I loved it.............for those of you who remember Top Gun we had a phrase in our house..........' I feel the need ..the need to feed ' !!!!

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 21:34

Oh god lecohen - I had forgotten about c sections. I have had 3 of those and I FF, the shame

I really am going for a bath now.

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 02/01/2009 21:34

I have read the study. Doesn't it also say that using reduced fat dairy products is also an indicator of chldhood obesity? Also the study did not control for social class as the Germans don't do social class, also the study did not identify whether the participants came from a family with an obesity problem.

I am not denying the research is interesting, but flatly stating FF ALONE is likely to lead to childhood obesity?

IMO, poverty is the most likely cause of childhood obesity, not giving your baby a bottle.

bloss · 02/01/2009 21:34

Message withdrawn

FairLadyRantALot · 02/01/2009 21:36

Hm...it's been a while I really looked into all the reseearch and things, but, isn't the whole obesity link with ff along the lines that ff babies are less likely to really be demand fed? And I admit, with es, who was ff from 4 month old, I used to try to get another ouce into him, because it was such a pain to "waste" food....and that that is what maybe makes it harder to control ones appetite?
Might be on the complete wrong track here....

Original poster
IllegallyBrunette · 02/01/2009 21:36

Where did i say it wasn't better for baby ???

I think you wil find that I said I didn't agree with the obesity link, thats all.

OP posts:
NotSoRampantRabbit · 02/01/2009 21:37

Erm - Katie Scarlett

Where has anyone said that FF ALONE causes obesity?

That is not what these studies show, or what I (or stealth and others) have suggested.

Bf protects against obesity.

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/01/2009 21:37

"Presumably in the same way as the link between smoking and cancer, saturated fat and heart disease, lack of exercise and obesity.
Do you think all these people filled in a minute by minute diary or were given rules about exactly how much to smoke etc? Could someone explain how it differs please? "

Can someone answer how they are prepared to accept (if they are) the results of one type of research but not another.

Also, there are no benefits to breastfeeding and it certainly isn't a miracle worker!

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/01/2009 21:38

FLRAL - yes, afaik that's one of the theories, not sure whether it's gone any further. Would be interested to know.

nancy75 · 02/01/2009 21:39

interesting comment about accepting one type of research but not another, how many people breast feed and co sleep?

StealthPo09IsHere · 02/01/2009 21:41

Yes, good point.
Still not answered my question though.

herbietea · 02/01/2009 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

abbierhodes · 02/01/2009 21:42

Interestingly, I was going to start a thread like this!!
I breastfed my babies for a couple of days each, and both times gave up because I didn't like it.
I will not pretend that there was a really 'good' reason, I just didn't find that it worked for me and my family.
IME there are many benefits to formula feeding, not least the fact that it is easier to get the baby into a routine earlier. Some may see that as trivial, but when you have other DCs to consider and a full time job to return to within a few weeks, you have to make sacrifices.
Just to add, my DCs are past the baby stage now, and are very healthy due to plenty of exercise and a balanced diet, nothing to do with the type of milk they were given!
I agree with other posters who have said that there are so many pressures on mothers that we shouldn't be beating each other up over this. Can't we respect each other's choices and live and let live?