The PESH deli for those who are realising there are real live baybees at the end of this.

[rots]

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8

UPDIFFED
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, big pants, 5* hotels, Bridget Jones due November 20
maswera, jungle hottie - due November (???)
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25

yes twinkle I too had lots of cramping which I can only put down to implantation shenanigans.. but I too freaked out a bit because being a first timer I had no idea what to expect, or what was normal or what was to worry about. My cramps were worse than any period pain I'd ever had so I was quite concerned... but here I am 17.5 weeks later on...

I have everything crossed for you!

twinkle The month I got this BFP I tested late (about 3 days or so), the night before I tested I got crampy little punches - pretty much similar to the punchy little fists I'm getting right now! I really berated myself for being such a twat and thinking I could be pregnant - it was only when I woke up the next morning with no droid that I had the confidence to test... What was your first pregnancy like? Do you remember? I don't know if my funny little cramps were implantation - I'd thought I'd had my implantation the week before when I'd had a terrible stitch in my side on a 4 hour ride... but I put that down to wearing a pair of breeches 2 sizes too small!

Back from MW, any day now she says

All in the right place, plenty of rest prescribed. Lost another kilo since last time

Watch this space (doula not back from hols till Sunday so am a bit nervous)

Thanks all, I can't really remember what my first pregnancy was like at the beginning! But I didn't ever think anything would go wrong with it so must have been quite relaxed about the whole thing. I know there must be lots of things going on in the wombular region right now so got to expect some weird feelings I guess. I wish I enjoyed my job so I could focus on something else!

x-post Cunty - how bloody exciting! I haven't lurked much so how/where are you hoping/planning it will all happen?

All being well in a pool in the MW led unit at Kingston, with doula, Hom, low lighting, hypnobirthing techniques and polite coughing

That's the theory anyway...

sounds great! I was a polite cougher until about 2 minutes before my daughter was born (when I remember mooing a bit) so it can happen!

Wow cunty that's amazing news! How fab. You will easily hold out 'til Sunday and your doula's return - just visualise flower petals closing and tides going out... You'll be fine!

Oooh cunty exciting!!!!

Are they really weighing you each visit? I haven't been weighed since booking in - subject of weight just hasn't been mentioned.

Oooh Cunty, how exciting! I hope baybee manages to hold on until doula gets back though...

Actually, (not wishing to burst your bubble) I was told 'any day now' from around 36 wks with Boo and she came at 41+6.

Just found out they've closed our MW led unit. Fuckers! Wanted a home birth anyway but that is besides the point.

@ SSW - I am studiously unvisualising...

cos, no they don't weigh me routinely, but MW said I looked narrower so I asked if I could hop on the scales. She isn't arsed - nor am I really, but I just can't imagine where it's all going... it just doesn't seem logical.

i agree, it doesn't seem that logical, but just think how lovely and svelte you'll be once you've laid the baybee!

w00t cunty!

Fancy going out for a curry & a shag?

twinkle You mooed?

you offering? Lezza Jalfrezi

Only if you do your Sophie Dahl voice. Badoom tish! We don't need no chapatis here.

We were talking about natural induction methods last night ? apparently you need to eat 20 pineapples a day to get the prostaglandin from them. Also prostaglandin in semen is more effective if taken orally (all the boys perked up at that one!).

Also got told a story about someone who went for the nipple stimulation method ? apparently things had slowed down in hospital so they tried it, the mw came back in the room to find the husband sucking on one nipple and the female friend birth support partner sucking on the other!!

Cossie Well obviously that's the story you're going to tell the hospital when caught in a raunchy 3-some on the delivery ward.

cunty So exciting! Are we taking a sweepstake on this? I claim Monday. For reasons that if your doula gets back on Sunday she'll have a nice sleep then it's game on.

Nothing surrounding pregnancy weight loss/gain makes any sense. After complaining about lack of baby-lay weight loss, I have now lost 2.5 kilos since arriving at home. And I've been eating pizzas (an entire pizza myself last night), cheeses, pate, wine, and pudding with icecream every night - as Mum seems to think no meal is complete without a pudding delivery from her. Last night lemon meringue pie! Anyhoo, clearly, losing 2.5 kg in 5 days under these circumstances is nonsense. But I no complain.

Unless it all goes back on when I actually start to diet.

Fanny please don't tell me it is somehow it is somehow greedy to eat a whole pizza oneself - is that not a normal portion? It's what I always have anyway. Tell me I'm not allowed.

Tell me I'm not alone that was meant to be. The other sounded a bit threatening...

swits I too was about to query what other kind of pizza eating there was!

switty You're not alone. But according to the official Guideline Daily calorie allowances you're also not allowed!

fanny You're reading the guidelines incorrectly - they refer to deep-fried pizza. 1 whole grilled one per person is perfectly normal.

eeeeeeeek! I've gone all girly, squealy, excited at cunty's "any day now" revelation! I do hope Rastus can wait for the doula, for your peace of mind. But with you being a DHB and all that, I wouldn't be surprised if it all happened sooner and you just got on with it

Pizza: one whole one is the minimum recommended dose, preferably accompanied by chips and garlic bread and followed by cake.

Well, I finally went swimming today. Bought a cossie that should work post birth and floated around for about half an hour on my own. Was okay but not the weightless revelation I had hope for. But I then lifted my mood a little by buying a maxi dress.

Mood lowered again thanks to sperm donor - please to be seeing elsewhere for request to soothe my neurosis.

Oh, and my mum is now panicking and texting all the time, and expecting a call any minute to attend the birth. I have said nought is happening, but as her labour was so fast, she's on a knife edge. Her bags are probably better packed than mine I loves her, I do.

Huh, I'm off pizza. Went to Pizza Hut on Saturday. I ordered sweetcorn and pineapple (sadly they don't serve anchovies). Obviously a whole one to myself. Anyway, it came as HAM and pineapple. Cue dilemma. I don't want to eat re-formed caged pig products, and I don't want to encourage the purchasing of said products by a restaurant, but if I rejected it then it's going to waste which is worse.

Anyway, they said they'd put sweetcorn on it for me, but YOB jumped in and said I'm a veggie and wouldn't eat it before I'd time to say anything (I'm not, but obv he knows my feelings on caged/battery animal production). So they then gave it to us FOC (that's ok, YOB had it for lunch the next day) and went to make another. That came with a lovely, dark black hair embedded in the cheese so obviously had been incorporated pre-grill. Nice.

I wasn't THAT worried TBH. It's not as though it's going to do me any harm. But it wasn't nice.