Hi all - back from hossie.
First things first. I've had a text from ski and she sounds quite bright. Tried calling her but went to voicemail so I guess she's tied up with something else... can't think what . ski if you manage to get online - we miss you and huge congratulations
cassie I know you know this but the first few days/week of BF are the single most important so at least babycas has had the anti-nasties from your milk. This may be too much to consider but maybe it's worth, if you can, expressing as much as possible so you have another few days for her? Whatever happens, the work you did since she was born to keep her on BM has made a lot of difference to her health so if she has to go on formula now, well, she's had a wonderful start and thank goodness we have formula so we at least have options.
cunty hope all is well with you and your little guy. Thinking of you.
newly diffeds Please do join us. I know the first weeks are horrendous and you may wish to wait until things are settled but it's lovely to hear your fabulous diffy news and we really want you here.
OK, so onto my news. Firstly, can I thank absolutely everyone for being so kind in your messages. It's amazing what the support of you guys does to cheer up a down differ.
poo you would be proud of me. What poo said above is really worth reading as it's exactly how I feel and part of the reason I was so distressed about going in this morning. We got there and I realised I'd forgotten my notes, so YOB went home to get them and was gone for nearly an hour. I just sobbed my little heart out for the whole time he was gone as I was so scared about what might happen. I actually found myself starting to panic attack as we walked into the hossie and had to take a firm grip of myself. This isn't me!
Anyway, when we got onto the ward, and while I was waiting for my notes, the MW came to talk to me and I managed to explain what I was worried about. It's mostly being railroaded and not being able to make our own decisions - obviously in conjunction with the medical advice, but with YOB and I being able to understand the options and decide what is best for us.
What poo said was really interesting because they said things like, "we need to do a speculum examination". I then asked exactly why they wanted to do that because I was concerned about infection. I was told that it was to find out for sure whether my waters had gone. So that was easy - I could decline that as there's no doubt about it. But, if I'd not asked, it would have been done and - bang - big infection risk.
Anyway, to try to keep this relatively short (too late!), I was put on a trace (absolutely fine), BP, temp and urine checked - all fine. No signs of infection at all. We discussed the risk of infection actually happening (low) v the risk to the baby if it happened (high) v the risk of failed induction/section. Between us we decided to wait another 24 hours, go in tomorrow morning to check for infection again and play it by ear from there. I will probably go onto oral antibis tomorrow as a precaution, but that's fine. There's no indication at this point that I will be pushed into induction provided that there's no sign of infection. And I am now comfortable with induction or even section if there is a proven infection as at that point the risk to the little fella from the infection is greater than the risk to him and me from the induction/section.
I can't have a home birth. Well, obviously I CAN but just in case there's an infection just starting if I deliver naturally I need to have him close to the neonatal unit for immediate treatment. I am disappointed, but much, much happier with this if it's a natural delivery than the other options that may have happened this morning.
Interestingly my notes read that I came in for an induction and then decided that I wanted to wait and see. Not true at all - they asked me to come in for a check! It was very clear that had I not questioned everything and been really clear in my own mind (when I say me/I I mean both YOB and I) then I would have been automatically taken in for induction today. Furthermore, had I said I didn't want an induction and I wanted a section, it was clear that I'd have been sent home to pack a bag and it would have been done this afternoon.
Each to their own and another person may feel that the wait and see option was too risky for their comfort zone. Our choice wouldn't be everyone's choice, but, what is so nice and reassuring was that we got to work through the choices with a doctor who really listened to our questions, answered them as honestly as she was able to (obviously some things are unknowns) and let us make our own mind up from the list of acceptable options.
So the plan today is lots of walks (lucky dog), checking my temperature regularly and not letting people stick their hands up my foof . Back to hossie tomorrow morning for monitoring.
I will probably be offline today but will post tonight, whether there's news or not.
Thank you again everyone. You're all fab