The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread#5 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[InDreamland]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread (please feel free to add your name or amend if due dates have changed following 12 week scans or booking in c-secs):

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
@TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Also tagging @boboelephant and @Yukka just to hope they can pop on and update on their rainbows.

Sorry to anyone I've missed 🐧

That must have been very anxiety inducing @Indreamland and probably still is, I'm sure. You poor thing! Did you say you had bleeding in early pregnancy too?

I know I keep recounting my experiences and my friends but it's all I have. My friend bled around a similar time, but she bled over a period of a few days, they had her in hospital for observation for four days. It was a mystery and eventually the bleeding stopped. Do let us know how you get on, I hope everythingbis okay, more likely it is, than it isn't. x

Thank you for all tour comments 😊

@TwittleBee that did cross my mind so I've prepared myself for that xxx

@Twitoo and @Mistymeow congratulations on your scans.

@Irishgene I think most of us both dread and want scans. Most of us have received the news that we never wanted to hear at a scan so it's natural to find it hard being in that situation again.

@Indreamland it's probably just some random spotting but getting advice is best. I've had it a few times in this pregnancy usually when I've over exerted myself. I'm another that doesn't know the sex of my baby.

DH has spoken to his colleague and decided between them that if possible he won't go and definitely won't go if it's later than 2 weeks.

@TwittleBee @Rubyroost @Beaglemum93 @Bluebelltulip thank you. Called MAFU and they told me to go in to be checked out. All seems well with baby and midwife not concerned about the tiny little bit of blood. I'm still anxious but I have to trust the professionals.

@Indreamland that's good news that you got checked etc. I guess time will make you feel less anxious, when there's no more further blood you will feel better. I'm sorry you had a bit of blood, I u der stand it would make you worry. Thanks for updating and take it easy. x

Got my 20 week scan today! I will be 21 weeks tomorrow. Although the 12 week scan out me 2 days further ahead than the 9 week scan so maybe I am 21 + 1 weeks today 🤔 does anyone know if a 9 week scan is more accurate? As they didn't change the due date after the 12 week one. Th eonly real reason it bothers me is current due date is a Saturday so will affect c section scheduling xxx

@ChikiTIKI good luck for your scan today! It should say your due date from the 12 week scan on the scan report in your notes.

@TwittleBee Thank you, it's reassuring to know you've had a fever in pregnancy before. So far so good, but I've read up on what to do in case I come down with anything.
A boy!!! So exciting! Congratulations!!!

@Notnowokay My consultant is keeping an eye on things before making a decision about steroids. She did say last week she might give them to me anyway as a precaution, but definitely if I start showing signs of baby arriving early.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 Really good news that you're not showing signs of preeclampsia. I hope it stays that way. Are you on maternity leave now? Mine is also head down at the moment.

@Bluebelltulip I don't think I'd want my OH going away in my third trimester.

@Twitwooo Well done for getting through the dating scan and so pleased that everything is looking good! Congrats!

@Irishgene Welcome to the penguin huddle! Someone on this thread coined the word "scanxiety" and it's something we all have I'm afraid. Top tips are distraction methods, having someone's hand to squeeze during the appointment and plenty of tissues in your bag... I researched mindful breathing techniques and found that to be helpful to keep me from going absolutely bonkers each time. It's especially horrible when you have to have the scan in the same room as you received bad news, but this pregnancy was very healing for me in the end because I had two really positive scans in the same room that I'd found out about previous loss.

@Mistymeow I'm really glad your 20-week scan went well! I am so happy for you after all the heartache you and DH have been through. They will keep a close eye on the placenta position and if it's too low nearer to birth you'll be given a c-section... Might be worth just mentally preparing for that in case.

@InDreamland I'm sorry you had that scare. I'm glad you got reassurance from the professionals though, that's the best thing to do in these situations. My mum had a random bleed when she was pregnant with me, and an ex-colleague had to dash off to be checked out at the hospital because she bled in her 2nd trimester and everything was absolutely fine. I think these things just randomly happen sometimes...

@ChikiTIKI Best of luck at the scan today! Hugs!

Morning,

I apologise for my absence yet again and the fact that I'm not doing a catch-up post but I'm not in a good place.

Today is day three of severe abdominal pains. I started bleeding (pink blood when I wipe and pink cots in the toilet after a wee). I went to the MAU last night also with reduced movements thinking the worst and they did two scans. The babies look fine - they have heartbeats and were moving normally but one baby was lying on top of the other, head-to-head. The baby on top, the boy, was surrounded by a good amount of amniotic fuid but the baby underneath was being squashed by her brother so it was impossible to the how much fluid was surrounding her. Apparently I don't have a UTI either.

I haven't slept for worry and pain so I just called my GP and made an appointment for 4.30pm today. I'm getting LOTS of pink discharge which the hospital said was normal but it's scaring me to death as this is how things started when we lost our twin son and daughter at 19 weeks in January. I'm 22+5 today and scared senseless.

I'll be in touch later to catch up with you all.

@Squiff70 so sorry that you are having such a tough time. Try to take reassurance in the scan and I hope the pink discharge stops soon.

@Squiff70 I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. The pain must be really disconcerting. Did they have any idea what was causing it? With you having twins might bit be growing pains because you get much bigger much faster?
Try to take comfort in the fact they haven't found anything wrong with the babies. They were moving fine and their heartbeats are normal.
Huge massive squishy penguin hugs. Straight into the centre of the huddle for you xxxxx

Hi everyone, sorry I've not been around much, I've been absolutely shattered and struggling to cope with work etc.

@InDreamland Sorry you've had a scare, glad everything is looking ok on scans.

@Squiff70 Sorry that must be really scary. Hang in there, you're so close to that viability milestone. I hope everything settles down for you.

As for me I'm nearly 19 weeks now. Thankfully my partner has quit smoking again. I've been having braxton hicks for the last 2 and a half weeks which is a bit unnerving - I definitely wasn't expecting them so early in the pregnancy. We had a private scan at 16w, baby looked healthy and was rather obviously a boy. For some reason I was utterly convinced we were having a girl, so that was a big surprise! I've been feeling movements too for ages, they're irregular and mostly really soft but occasionally he whacks me quite hard. Looking forward to movements becoming more regular as I panic when I haven't felt anything all day. I had a horrible nightmare last night that I started bleeding moderately heavily and am getting a bit anxious about by 20 week scan, which is 2 weeks away. The milestone I really want to get to is 24 weeks. Partly because this is the age of viability, but also because if things go wrong after this point legally my baby will have a birth certificate and nobody will be able to say he wasn't a real baby (sorry that sounds really grim reading back!).

Sorry - selfish post!
I'm got a weird pain or feeling of pressure right at the bottom of my abdomen just above my pubic bone where I would normally get period pain. It started in the night and hasn't got any worse. I've tried the midwife numbers but just getting voicemails and feel silly ringing the number for emergencies and labour.
What would you do? I'm feeling tired and weepy which doesn't help

@janey15 have you left a voicemail? I would do that first and if you don't hear back from them within an hour ring the other number and explain. That's personally what I would do, althpugh ring the emergancy number straight away if you don't want to wait!
They don't mind being contacted and may well tell you to wait for the midwife to ring you back, but as I'm not a professional I don't know what they might advise.
You get all-sorts of weird feelings and pains in pregnancy so it's probably nothing to worry about, but it is always best to get something checked out. Better to feel silly ringing a number you're not sure about 'bothering' than sitting alone and letting the panic grow...

@Squiff70 oh squiff I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a horrid time. From the scans your babies seem okay, hopefully that is a good sign. Will you have another scan soon. You must be worried sick, sending a virtual hug.

@TinyPaws I started with BH early my first successful pregnancy, can't remember exactly when and also early this pregnancy. I also got them really quite regularly last time and if you Google this apparently its concerning and needs to be checked.. He didn't arrive until 42 weeks when he was induced and then dragged out... C section in the end.
@janey15 I tend to ignore weird pains as I just assume it's more weird pregnancy pains, yoh do sound concerned though so do get them checked out. I'm sure it'll be fine and just ones of those weird pregnancy pains.

Evening everyone. Sorry about my panic earlier, I'll update at the end. As I've got behind with the thread I'm just going to start from this morning as won't manage to catch up otherwise!

@ChikiTIKI my 10 week scan was probably the least accurate! I've been following the 12week date as is my midwife

@Squiff70 you must be so terrified. I hope it goes well with the dr and everything settles down soon. We're all here for you - please keep us updated xx

@TinyPaws I didn't realise we were so close in dates. I'm 19+4 today. I'm really glad your partner has managed to quit again. I think I said before that it took my husband years to stop finally and he kept having relapses in that time and trying to keep it a secret from me. It was extremely stressful and Im ashamed to say I still check his pockets from time to time 

Welcome to any newcomers - we're an anxious bunch but it helps to share it with people who understand 

So I did what you suggested @KnitKitty and called the emergency number after they didn't reply to my voicemail. The midwife was so lovely and didn't make me feel silly. She said it could be my bladder or general stretching pains and told me to take paracetamol and what to look out for. I put the phone down and had a proper panicky cry  I understand pregnancy causes weird pains @Rubyroost and I manage to ignore 99% of them as I'm getting random pains everyday, but this is the first time I've had something persistent that's reminded me of period pain.
I'm just so desperate for this baby - as I know we all are. Anyway, paracetamol has helped and I'm on the sofa in my pjs. DH is out with work this evening so I'm going to try to find something to take my mind off things and hope for more kicks to reassure me.

Evening all.

Sorry so many have had scares and more to worry about. I hope you're ok @InDreamland and @janey15 xxx

@Squiff70, I can't imagine how you must feel right now. Please take comfort from the scan but keep posting if you feel anxious. I imagine this is bloody terrifying so please don't feel you're on your own. Did you have anymore checks today? Sending big hugs xxx

Hope your scan went well @ChikiTIKI xxx

Hello and welcome @Irishgene!

Congratulations on your scans @Mistymeow and @Twitwooo!

I've been having Brixton hicks since about24 weeks @TinyPaws and sometimes they take my breath away! I find a glass of water and a move about helps. I also remember getting loads last time and my DD was two weeks late!

Glad to hear all is ok @TwittleBee and that you're having another boy!! I must admit I'm loosing track of who's having what!

How are you @Bluebelltulip?

I've had a busy day getting ready for DD's party tomorrow. It's only all the family but still had a fair bit to do. Then hopefully a nice quiet day for her actual birthday on Sunday - just want to treasure the time we have left as a three. Get choked up thinking about it! That and I can't believe my amazing, clever, funny girl is three! I'm an emotional wreck these days!

Sorry to anyone I've missed. Hope everyone else and those bumps are ok xxx

@Irishgene welcome to the thread. I hope the time to your scan moves quickly, those first weeks really drag. I'm 15+5 and have had scan number 6 today. This was the first one I went to on my own and I was so very nervous. I don't think they covet any less scary in the build up to them. It's probably worth acknowledging that that is an ok way to feel and make sure you are gentle with yourself in the build up
@Mistymeow congrats on your 20 week scan. Up until today, my little one has misbehaved at every scan and has had me doing star jumps, shaking from side to side etc . Very embarrassing. Last night he/she was bad I was being scanned for 40mins to get the last measurement!
@InDreamland how are you today? I still knocker check all the time so can imagine how sick this must have made you feel. Hope you and the little one are ok
@ChikiTIKI I hope your scan went ok today. My 7week scan had me ahead by a few days and that has stuck throughout. My scan reports show both a date by my lmp and the date by my scan (which is what I'm using now)
@TwittleBee as mum to a nearly 16 year old DS, I can say boys are amazing! We are still team yellow to the point my other half sis not want to look at the scan pics today till I reassured him he wouldn't be able to tell sex
@Squiff70 I'm thinking of you and hoping the little ones are doing ok.
@TinyPaws congrats on the scan and finding you are having a boy. Can I ask when you started to feel movement? I'll be 16 weeks on Sunday and if I sit at my desk lent forward, think I'm getting the odd sharp poke, but I'm not sure!
@janey15 I hope taking things easy clams everything down. If you have any worries at least you know how to get hold of them for an answer. Voicemail is frustrating when no one calls you back.

Today I had my, random 16 week growth scan. Sonographer and I think the dates got muddled and they meant to book my 36 week one not 16. Still got to see baby, was actually chilling and behaving, resting it's legs on the side of my womb. All checks appear ok, ahead of my fetal heart scan on Monday. Little one is still obsessed with hands by its face and began sucking on its fingers as we watched. So I can relax slightly for 2 days till Monday!

Thank you all so much for your comments. I'm also have have what would have been my due date coming up on the 5th December so it's just a sea of emotions right now. I'm so pleased I have you all to chat to 😊

Scan went well today everything looked normal and also checked its a girl as per blood test and she is!

About dates... The dating on 13 week scan report is in line with that of the 9 week scan however the 12 week scan when they did the NTT they used a date 2 days ahead because of the measurements at the 12 week scan but still didn't change the dates... I don't get it... Confusing.

@Irishgene I have my due date looming on 2nd December so know how you are feeling, I'll be working on that date so hoping it takes my mind off it a little

Sorry you're having such a stressful time @Squiff70. Have the pains been any better today?

Congratulations on finding out you're having a boy @TinyPaws! Glad all was looking well at your scan.

@Kayjay2018 great news on your good scan and well done going on your own!

Due dates are difficult @Irishgene. My second pregnancy would have been due this weekend if it had worked out.

Glad your scan went well @ChikiTIKI! Sorry your dates are confusing. Maybe ask your midwife at your next appointment?

I've had reduced movements again today so ended up going to the PAU (again....). The midwife wasn't concerned after the monitoring but I'm still a bit worried that he seems quieter than normal. I have to trust that they know what they're talking about though.

I've made a start on washing all of the baby's clothes. I feel like seeing as I'm nearly 36 weeks I should probably start getting prepared.

@Beaglemum93 at 36 weeks my boy was certainly quieter some days and then go absolutely mental for a few days, but he had no pattern all the way through pregnancy!
Dont hesitate to get back to PAU again, even if you do feel like you're being a pain in the arse- which you shouldn't of course, but I felt a bit silly several times last pregnancy and it can stop you from going when you think you need to.

Hi all.

Sorry I've been quiet-I'm trying to keep up with the thread but have been so exhausted it's all I can do to go to work, eat and sleep at the moment! Work has been pretty intense too with some difficult stuff to work on which has wiped me out.

Welcome to all the newbies, and sorry to see some have been having scares etc. It's been so long since I properly replied I'd prob have to write a dissertation to properly catch up so please forgive me for not replying to individuals.

As for me I'm now 33+5...baby is growing well and at my latest scan on thurs estimated to be 5lb5ozs already 😱 - on the 50th centile. Bubs is very active and has been doing some Kung fu practice on my innerds! Caused the sonographer some probs on thurs as head is low down into my pelvis and it's position meant the ribs were throwing shadows on its tummy so measuring was hard!

Went to an antenatal class this week...one lass had her mum there as birth partner...turns out I went to school with her! So there was I as first time mum to be, and my old school pal was there as grandma to be!!! I feel ANCIENT!