The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread#5 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[InDreamland]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread (please feel free to add your name or amend if due dates have changed following 12 week scans or booking in c-secs):

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
@TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Also tagging @boboelephant and @Yukka just to hope they can pop on and update on their rainbows.

Sorry to anyone I've missed 🐧

Thanks everyone. I've felt at least one of the babies wrigging away this afternoon and evening so I'm a lot less worried now :)

Happy weekend everyone,
Wow, so hard to keep up with all the action on this thread! Love to see so many fantastic scans. Welcome to @RedRobin7 and @Ladybug84.

I am 28 weeks and still somehow managing parkrun on Saturdays and feeling pretty decent while doing it, but today turned miserable right before the run - wind and pouring rain. Still did it but feel shattered now and took a while to recover from the cold! Luckily our plans for tonight have been cancelled due to the weather so it's going to be a chilled out one for us.

What is everyone else up to?

Hi ladies, selfish post alert.
Just vomited for the second time today. Can't sleep. Feeling horrible. I'm taking my sickness meds, I'm trying to be more liberal with my gaviscon, and here I am again with a ruined weekend. Every god damn week. Should be 11 weeks now... I'm still hoping it will all magically go away in a weeks time but I'm scared of the disappointment if it won't. Sick of feeling useless and not being able to function like my normal self.
Want to take dd to a fireworks display tomorrow (today now actually). Already bailed out on one we were supposed to go to on Friday. I just wish I could plan more than 10 minutes ahead...

@Squiff70 happy to hear that you had some wriggles.

@Coconutlatte44 wow you are doing well.

@Twitwoo I hope you feel better soon and can go to the fireworks. The unpredictable nature of pregnancy drives me mad too.

I'm feeling a better in general today but seems my cold has now gone to my chest, I'm asthmatic so colds are fun at the best of times, hoping it doesn't make my asthma too much worse.

22 weeks today and my boobs have started leaking with a vengeance! I have some reusable nipple pads ordered...does anyone else have this and any tips for managing it?

@strawberrye I haven't had that yet - this is your first baby, right? I've heard leaking can start earlier second time around, but with first I thought it took awhile for milk to come in. I'm sure its annoying, but also kind of exciting! Congrats on being 22 weeks today!

Thanks again everyone for the kind wishes on the scan. We saw baby boy yesterday and he was wriggling around and looking healthy, despite the fact that I still can't feel much of anything. He weighs 15 ounces now, almost 1 pound! This is up from 11 ounces two weeks ago. DH thinks he's getting too big and I'm overfeeding him haha, but I told him the weight measurements are notoriously inaccurate and I'm just eating normally really. Any thoughts? I am 21+3 today.

@sadtoday21 Mine was supposedly 11 oz at 19 weeks 3 days so sounds similar to you. As you get bigger the growth will speed up until it eventually gets to 1/2 pound a week! so that sounds like a healthy increase. I don't know what it should be from 18 weeks to 21 weeks though.
@strawberrye nipple pads seem to be the answer and try not to go touching those boobs as that will obvs stimulate more leaking. I didn't have any leaking first time around and I'm hoping this doesn't happen second time around.

Thanks everyone. I’m ok thanks. Do pop into the other thread if you want to but there are a lot of new people! It is quite a nice group actually but obviously I hope to not be there too long! So pleased to read your positive updates.

Think I'm just about catching up with this thread after a few days off. Apologies in advance for selfish post.

I went for my second nuchal scan at the fetal medicine centre yesterday and baby was still misbehaving, took over 40 mins to get all the checks done. Along with the harmony results being low, my combined ones were too, so overall she believes my chances of downs Edwards and Patau is around 1 in a million.
So we told my parents yesterday which made my mum cry, she is so excited. Told my best friend today and she cried too! My due date is now 10th May, feeing sore from the scan yesterday and have either got a bout of sinusitis brewing or a stinking cold. I feel lousy, thickly throat, bunged up nose and congested head, taking saline nasal spray which only works for 10 mins. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I never had any leaking with DD and not this time either @strawberrye. As I remember I didn't even leak that much when she was born (I breastfed for just over two years) except maybe for the days when my milk came in. I had friends who used to spray milk when showering though so it's all normal! As @Rubyroost said try not to stimulate in anyway, touching or squeezing!

Glad all is ok @Squiff70. Movement can be so reassuring but it is also one of the biggest causes of my anxiety!

Can't believe there were so many of us on that March thread @RedRobin7 and @Bluebelltulip! Nice that we can all do this new journey together.

Great news on your scan @sadtoday21! I have no idea what Little Brother weighed at 21 weeks nor now, my hospital just give measurements. But I'm anticipating a whopper after being told he is on the 95th percentile. Please don't worry, my sonographer even said to me "we would worry more if they were small". Take it as a sign your body is growing a healthy bubba!

How are you feeling now @Twitwooo?

Can't believe you are still running @coconutlatte44! I am barely functioning!

Excellent results @Kayjay2018 and lovely reaction from your mum! My parents and MIL are all so excited, on Saturday night at our fireworks party I let them all put their hand on my tummy to feel Little Brother move. They were all so chuffed and emotional. It's great you have such lovely, caring people around you to share this journey.

I had a great night on Saturday and despite being tired after hosting everyone DD slept in after staying up late and so I ended up having a lie in yesterday until almost 9am!! This is unheard of in my world, I would have happily taken 7am! Anyway, despite feeling refreshed yesterday, today is the first day I've woken up and thought "I can't do this". Have been up all night again with heartburn, needing to wee, general discomfort and DD waking at 5am (she went back to sleep but I didn't!) I am on the tube and have a seat but after the nursery run and waddling down the road I'm already exhausted. I'm just finding it such a struggle all of a sudden. Not sure if it's just because I've had another bad night, but the bad nights definitely out number any lay ins! I feel like all I need is sleep and I never bloody get any (and I know it will only get worse!) I hate moaning too, I'm so grateful to be here and would do anything if it meant Little Brother is ok. Im struggling with DD (husband works long hours and often night shifts) and I'm just huge and heavy and tired. Another five weeks of work. Seriously considering going a week earlier.

Hi ladies. Again sorry for my absence over the weekend, life is too busy and hectic. Lots for me to read and catch up on. I'm now tired and fed up ........mainly because I cannot rely on DH to either do things or do things properly at home. He's either lazy or slap dash because all he cares about is doing things fast but poorly so he can sit on his arse, which means I have to do everything. As I'm so busy literally running around and having no time to sit and rest I just don't feel baby move, either it's moving less or I'm just not noticing because I have no time to so that's now stressing me out.

Sorry for the selfish post, I just have had about enough this morning.

Off to read what I've missed this weekend now.

@ReeRi lovely to see you pop in. Hope you're well and we have you back here for a full 40 weeks!

@RedRobin7 welcome back to MN and so lovely to see you here with lovely news! Congratulations! Fx for a healthy sticky bean and pregnancy!

@Frillyfarmer that is disgraceful that they have pulled your promotion. Do you have any written evidence (showing timeline of events) to show decisions against you were made after you told them you're pregnant? Or that any claims of not meeting targets are not really substantiated? I'd be fighting this.

@Squiff70 fab on passing your milestone and lovely scan photos! Hitting 20 weeks is great! I saw your other thread about MIL! OMG just lay down the law and boundaries now, don't let anyone tell you you're not being reasonable. If it was me I'd be telling DH that if she crosses boundaries you'll request hospital security to forcibly remove her and then you're taking the twins to your family and ordering them to not open the door. Thank you for sharing the advice about not worrying until 26 weeks! Has helped my anxiety, am 25 weeks tomorrow.

@Rubyroost lovely to have you back!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue definitely the first challenge is getting near the seats but even then people blatantly stare and then look away. It's worse coming home.

@Bluebelltulip hope the sore throat has gone. I woke up with one on Saturday which seems to have settled.

@Navy123 fx all goes well Thursday and that time goes faster to your scan. It does always feel like time drags with your own pregnancy. I swear some of you have overtaken me lol ......I know impossible but that's how it feels.

@Dimblebimble my boss has always been told early on, say a week or two after BFP because I just needed someone to be aware but sworn to secrecy. I am glad I did as I then had the support when I lost the first two. Everyone is different though, you need to do what feels right for you. Your situation is different owning the company. My colleagues weren't told about this pregnancy until 18 weeks! As in I just stopped trying to hide it.

@KnitKitty how are you. Awful to read you've been getting bad anxiety. Hope all is okay with you and baby!

@Ladybug84 congratulations on your BFP. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

@SunshineCrocodile so amazing you managed to hear HB so early on. I hope your anxiety eases but it's totally understandable.

@strawberrye I'm totally with you on the baby shower thing! Sorry to anyone who is having/had one.

@RedRobin7 hopefully it's just anxiety for your DH. Keeping my fx for you that this pregnancy will be a healthy one and he starts to come around and be supportive and excited.

@coconutlatte44 wow! Parkrun at 28 weeks? You're amazing!

@Twitwooo sorry that the morning sickness has really got you. Sounds awful! Really hope you feel better soon and it eases as you go into the second tri.

@sadtoday21 glad the scan went well. I've no idea about weight, I wasn't told at my 20w scan how how much baby weighed. Am I supposed to have been?

@Kayjay2018 great news on your results! Sorry you've been unwell, hope that clears up soon.

@strawberrye my boobs don't seem to be doing much TBH and actually I swear they've gone down in the past few weeks. Something else for me to worry about.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I really feel for you having a bad night, being tired then doing the central line. 5 weeks isn't long until you're pregnant then suddenly it feels like an eternity.

Lol thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue and @InDreamland - however I may have spoken too soon as after my run this time (in the rain and wind) I felt shattered and sick for the rest of the weekend! I don’t want to stop as it’s my main form of exercise at the moment and I genuinely feel so accomplished doing it but may need to slow down a bit next weekend.

I’ll have to have a full read-and-tag today too, find it much easier to write multiple responses when I’m on my computer!

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue that's reassuring! I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so tired these days - it's perfectly understandable! How many weeks are you now? I feel I'm slowing down already as bump gets bigger too, but can't imagine doing it with a DD in tow. You are a superhero!

@InDreamland it should say on your notes somewhere - that's where I found mine. It will also have the growth chart, percentile etc., but mine actually had number of ounces too. I don't know how accurate it is though, its obviously just a guess of his weight based on the measurements. Sorry to hear your DH hasn't been helping enough, I feel I have the opposite problem where DH is doing a bit too much and making me feel lazy! He woke me up this morning at 8 am because he was vacuuming the whole house and he is constantly doing dishes, etc., when I just want to relax. I think I should be grateful for it though and, anyway I'm on cooking/grocery duty nearly all the time. Maybe you can just have a conversation with your DH about it and explain how you feel over a nice, relaxed dinner? You could divide the workload in a way that suits you both better?

@strawberrye I'm with you on the whole baby shower thing, plus we are expats so no family here to invite and only a few, very childless friends. It also does feel like tempting fate way too much. My mum asked about a registry to buy things for us and I was kind of surprised because I'm not sure what the point is of doing that. Are you doing anything like that?

@Squiff70 really glad you are ok! I also read your MIL thread and I think she is terrible!! So sorry you went through that. Xxx

One quick question for you all of you ladies, did any of your midwives recommend you take baby aspirin to prevent preeclampsia? My midwife did, but only because she thinks I'm at higher risk because my mum allegedly had it and it's my first baby. The thing is, I'm not really sure my mum did have it (she exaggerates a lot and doesn't seem to remember anything about her pregnancies) and therefore not sure the higher risk thing is accurate. I hate to put drugs in my body if I don't have to and so I've been really indecisive about this and put the decision off, but I also don't want to risk preeclampsia. Any thoughts?

@strawberrye I agree with others to try and avoid anything that stimulates them. I find reusable breast pads best. I had some leaking probably around the same point you are but it's settled down now and only tends to happen after a shower or bath. It's worse if DD needs cuddling after I've been in the bath.

@sadtoday21 mine went from 8oz at 18 weeks to 1lb7oz at 24 weeks so 4oz in 2 weeks doesn't seem too much to me. Weight gain in babies can be fairly rapid. I've taken baby aspirin in my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, should have had it in my 1st as my mum had severe pre-eclampsia with me but no one told me to. DD1 was small when she was born so I've also been recommended it for that.

@Kayjay2018 congratulations on your results and telling people. Sorry you are feeling unwell, I use honey and lemon tea and baby vapour rub.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight.

@InDreamland unfortunately my sore throat has turned into a cough which with asthma, anemia and pregnancy means I'm struggling quite a bit. DD is full of beans today so trying to keep her occupied with stuff that requires minimal effort from me. I hope your DH realises he needs to pull his weight and do things properly. My DH cleaned the bathroom on Saturday but missed quite a few bits, I felt awful but I did point them out to him and he went back and did them as it defeats the object if I have to redo it.

Thank you both - the MIL situation is a sore topic and felt it wasn't appropriate to bombard everybody with it on this thread. It is stressing me out though!

@InDreamland I have weight calculated for my private anomaly, but not my NHS one. The NHS tends to be more of a basic report, I don't think it's usual to have weight down for NHS. But I think if you're interested there's calculators online. Called headlock or something. If you put ac, hc and femur length in it calculates it. I don't think it's an exact science.

Sorry about your lazy husband, in my household we're both lazy and do the minimum to get by. However, he currently does the day to day cleaning and tidying and won't let me nearvthe dishwasher as I don't stack it properly. I fold the clothes and put them away.. Thats my job. 😳

@coconutlatte44 I'm still impressed that you managed it. I still go to the gym but it's less full on than a parkrun - far more gentle I think. How does baby take to the impact when your feet hit the ground? I've reduced impact and don't do much jumping now. More because I don't want to hurt baby rather than because I don't feel I can.

@sadtoday21 thanks, I'll have to take another look but pretty sure it's not on there. Your DH sounds so lovely and helpful! I've not had the advice on aspirin to avoid pre-eclampsia - I was asked about it in booking appointment for blood clotting and told bit late now but could have done as a preventative measure just in case even though blood tests I had for it ruled that out as a possible cause of the 2 mc's last year.

@Bluebelltulip sorry it's got worse. You need to rest up and be looked after. Your DH sounds helpful too .....although same here with me finding it's just not done right.

@Squiff70 that's what we're here for! Feel free to post about anything.

@Rubyroost lol, wish I was that chilled. He doesn't pack the dishwasher properly so I end up emptying it all into the sink and re-packing!!!!!

Thanks for all the comments about DH. My biggest issues are often he just doesn't do stuff unless I ask him. Then anything he does do he doesn't do it properly and I have to re-do it all anyway. Now I also have a cold! Not a happy bunny. At least I've had movement today after this morning's posts.

Thanks for the advice on telling work @InDreamland @strawberrye @SunshineCrocodile @rubyroost @sadtoday21. I went to email them today but all I could think of to say is 'Hi, just to let you know that I'm pregnant and due at the end of April'. What else is there to say at this point? I don't know how much maternity leave I want to take or exactly when I want to start...

@SunshineCrocodile I'm the same, normally a 12-14 anyway but it's already pretty obvious! To the point where people (who already know) have commented that I'm definitely showing now at 14 weeks. But I think my colleagues may be too polite to say anything for a few more weeks in case it's just extra chub!

@sadtoday21 @myheartisbrokebutihavesomeglue Hello serial scanners! :) I think it's worse because I was being scanned every 2 weeks by the hospital up to 12 weeks so it seems so hard to wait months for an update! I just feel so much better and more positive after having one. I think the private scanners think I'm a bit loopy though as I've been in 3 times now already. Dh has told me we need to wait until 20 weeks now, so we'll see how that goes...! I'm assuming from what other people say that the midwife will let me hear the heartbeat at 16 weeks, so I think that will reassure me for a while.

Hello. I feel awful as I tend to come for support rather than give it.

I’ve been to the loo and I’ve had a tiniest amount of dry blood. I can’t even be sure if I had just done a rubbish wipe after my previous poo (so sorry for TMI)
I’ve not had sex or an exam so it can’t be damage.
I’m 15 weeks pregnant. I’ve been feeling stretching all round stomach for a few weeks now. I’ve felt very nauseated today.
I don’t think there is anyone I can ring as being miscarriage free my close friends won’t understand.

I’ll admit I’m panicking. My husband is away on business. What should I do? Drive to A and E and wait for hours? Do nothing? See if more blood comes?

@Flyfisherlady I'm sorry to hear that. Chances are it's nothing to worry about. I'd call the out of hours midwife number and see what she says. I know the cervix can sometimes bleed a little due to the increased blood flow. Try not to worry for now until you know more. Good luck! Xx

@catconfusion Thank you! It’s so tiny, and dry it IS probably nothing. Out of hours midwife said that before 18 weeks they wouldn’t help so I had to go to A&E.
Made husband come home which he will be soon. We will work out a game plan together. Can’t quite believe I got myself into such a state

@Flyfisherlady don't feel silly - I'm pretty sure we would all be the same in this situation. You have done the right thing in calling DH. I'm still desperately checking to loo roll every time at 17 weeks. I hope everything is ok xxx