Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

@frankiefumbles we do have the funds. In fact I cancelled the private scan we had booked for next Sunday and the NIPT we had booked. I just wasn't sure you could book a private scan to find out when baby died since it's not a reassurance scan per se. I guess the clinics are probably unfortunately used to having to do this.

@newbie21 hopefully it's just a hcg drop at the time in your pregnancy. I rang 2 private places and explained Id had alot of bleeding and needed to know if baby was alive or not, both were happy to scan me as i couldn't wait over weekend for epu. Your epu sounds crap I'm lucky mine scan from 6 weeks and have scanned me 4 times this pregnancy! Fingers tightly crossed for you. Lots of love xxx

Urgh @Newbie21 that is so awful you're having to battle as well, I don't understand why they wouldn't just scan you to make absolutely certain of dates etc. Seems very unfair. If I were you I'd get a private scan for peace of mind too, although i would also much prefer it in the EPU given the circumstances. I can't understand why they won't be more supportive.

I'm so sorry @Newbie21 I hope this is just a blip and baby is ok. I paid for a private scan last time when I was bleeding as nhs wanted me to wait a week. The private scan was at the same hospital and same scan room though which annoys me. They had the appointment if you paid. But it was good as nhs took over when the mmc was discovered. Can you book a private scan at your hospital? Either way it's worth booking one to know for sure what's going on.

Agree with everything everyone has said and sorry it seems so shit. I have got my fingers crossed for you but I know that doesn't help when it's you that's going through it and sometimes keeping too much hope is in fact more painful.

The private place will definitely scan you. If you can book online you don't even have to declare what you're coming for, just put early scan, and then use the language you are comfortable with when you get there, whether that be that you are seeking confirmation it's passed away (which is was I said) or that hcg has dropped but you want proof. If you've got the ability to go private, that would be what I would do. It was a big consolation to me that I knew I had actually conceived even though the rest of the news was utter shit!

They are also used to scanning ladies when the MC has finished to confirm everything has passed through, so remember. If you're paying it's your show and they'll fit in with you.

Personally I find there is a certain element of closure to seeing what's gone on and knowing for sure. I am so sorry it seems things aren't looking good though. Hugs x

@toasterstrudle sending positive thoughts your way for your rainbow. I just keep trying to think well get ours one day or another 😁 i only had 1 normal and one horrific cycle after mmc at 11 weeks before this pregnancy and some days i feel like damn ive been pregnant more months out of the last year than not and it is a totally overwhelming feeling tbh

Thanks ladies. My sister phoned up the EPU (without telling me) and basically told them they were being a bit crap and that I was going through so much stress with it all so they told her to get me to call them and they would book a scan. So I did and they have booked a scan for Friday - they can't do it any earlier as the clinic is full. I will try and get a private scan before then. I think the earliest I can get is Wednesday but better than nothing. I'll update you all if anything changes. Thanks again. Sorry for ranting so much today.

@newbie21 ❤❤

Rant away @newbie21 we really have to put up with some awful shit in life sometimes but you will get through it regardless

@Newbie21 Aw that is so sweet of your sister to stand up for you like that. Although it's a shame you have to argue so much to get a scan you so clearly need. I hope you get good news.

Good luck with all the dating scans today. A week today till mine.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry. We all know that kind of heartbreak. I hope you have a lot of support- sounds like you have your sister fighting your corner. And I hope the scan goes well and there's a little miracle in there or at the least that it helps you get some closure. I know it always did with my previous two losses- I needed to see my baby no matter at what stage they got to.

Good luck to everyone with their scans today. Will be thinking of you all.

12+2 now! All looking good and the baby was sucking their thumb! So cute 😍

Aw wow @kisses4u such a lovely scan! So cute baby is sucking their thumb. You feeling more positive now? I'm counting the days to my scan.

@kisses4u what a gorgeous picture 😍

@Newbie21 have you managed to find an earlier scan?

@kisses4u all looking very developed there!!!

I am feeling more positive about it now. The 12 weeks scan seems to mark the start. I'm looking forward to getting screening results back. Our trust calls working 3 days if there is high risk to discuss, otherwise a letter in 2 weeks with results. So I will know in next few days. My EDD is now may 18th, anyone else? One of my good friends just announced and she is due 16th may! So close!

@Kisses4u Aw I'm glad you feel more positive. I feel like my dating scan will be the start. We can finally enjoy it and share the news. I'm the same though, will wait in case of a call before sharing I think. Will you announce in 3 days time then?

@kisses4u Did your EDD change from what you thought?

No I've already spilled! The sonographer reassured me that the neucal fold she measured on the neck looked fine. So I went with that. Either way we are pregnant and I am ready to let ppl know.
Now I am desperate to know the gender! I'm looking at nub theory as the other theory needed to identify where the placenta was, the sonographer was bemused when I asked her?! She said it was somewhere at the back probably! So we couldn't see it in the scan 😆

Full shot for anyone wanting a guess

Pic

@kisses4u great scan pic!

I had my scan today too. Was lovely seeing the baby looking more like a baby. Got moved up to 12+3 so EDD is now 17th may so very close to you kisses4u. Had to do alot of wiggling about to get baby to turn for the Nuchal measurement. For some reason I feel like it's a boy. Literally nothing to base that on though!

Photo to follow in a moment.

Question is now when to tell work....

Amazing scan photos @kisses4u How cute that baby was sucking thumb. I'm going to say boy. I have absolutely no idea. Even when I see scans which tell you what is what I still have no idea what I am looking at. So lovely to hear that you can start embracing your pregnancy. It's such an amazing thing I hope all you ladies reach a point where you can enjoy being pregnant and get excited rather than anxious.

So I phoned EPU for my blood results from yesterday's test and my HCG levels had gone up ever so slightly which made them worry it was eptopic so they asked me to come in first thing for a scan. I had my scan and not eptopic fortunately but the gestational sac was empty so virtually certain it's another MC especially with the oscillating HCG levels but I go back next week for confirmation that it is an MC and to decide next steps. I'm sad but relieved I have more clarity as to what is going on.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry, but glad they finally scanned you. Big hugs.